Common Mistakes
by ReeReeWithAngst
Summary: The teen titans aren't the titans. They're just teens living a life that is less than ideal despite coming from wealthy families and being able to attend a prestigious private school. Feeling like mistakes, those you know as Beast Boy and Starfire choose to runaway, which leads to an accident giving the Titans their powers, and their team. Titans? Go. Suggestion by Howling behemoth
1. Denial is pointless

**Give this one a chance. It's a sort of retelling of the Teen Titans, a suggestion made to me by Howling Behemoth, which I really liked and decided to pursue. This is the Titans pre-powers, which will happen by what I figure will span the first eight chapters, with me releasing two chapters at a time in rapid succession. The story might be a little farfetched and I'd love to give more detail as the story progresses. For the time being you need to know that the Titans are brought together, powerless, by their attendance at a prestigious private school. The characters are as follows, and the following list will also serve as chapter order, as each chapter has a different narrator: Gar Logan (Beast Boy), Kori Starr (Starfire), Victor Stone (Cyborg). Rachel Roth (Raven), and finally Richard Wayne (Robin). Thanks for the read! Enjoy! And expect a nice little Christmas present (12/25/17) in the form of a Teen Titan themed Christmas Special called Gizmo Claus.**

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Chapter 1- Gar

No need to remind me that I don't belong. It was programmed in my DNA. If I forgot it, I would be dead. Sometimes I tell myself it took a lot of guts to get this far. But really, I'm just lucky. Be it bad luck or good luck. I have friends, too. But that sounds lame. Relying on animals with made up names to get me through another day with the fart brained megalomaniac that is my Uncle. But animals are just less complicated and cruel than real people. At least a cat who plays with his food eventually lets the poor creature's suffering end with a crunch. My Uncle isn't so kind. He only has use of my inheritance while I'm his ward. If it were any other way... Crunch.

I play football, bet you're surprised to hear that. I've earned the nickname among my football brethren, Shrimp Boy. It's apt. I'm tiny. My Uncle slipped a Ulysses S. Grant the coach's way and now I'm Shrimp Boy the benchwarmer. Which is fine by me. Maybe you're wondering why my uncle cares so much? It's 'cause of all the football injuries I've been getting lately. Oh, but I'm only a benchwarmer.

"Hey Shrimp boy."

"Hey robot." Victor Stone is the only tolerable player for the Titans, yeah our team is the Titans, like Remember the but a whole lot less integrated. Vic is the only black player on the team. And he's incredible. Sometimes I hang out at his place, eat pizza (no meat), play video games, and secretly hope his friend Rachel shows up. That girl is fine and I haven't heard any dibs from Robot. That's another thing about Vic, he's part cyborg. A little bit broken, you know? He was in a horrible accident when he was younger that killed his mom, a feeling I know all too well, and left him shattered. His dad stopped at nothing to pick up the pieces, and so now Victor Stone is one mean football machine. People complain that he shouldn't be allowed to play football, but it was just one of those things Vic's dad threw money at, and it went away. Sometimes I wish people would throw money at me when they wanted me to go away...

Speaking of wishing someone would go away...

"Hey, Shrimp boy. Carson told me you don't even practice. You shouldn't be on the football team." Richard Wayne has had it out for me since my Uncle's money cut him from the football team, maybe before. His adopted dad has integrity or something and, despite being super well to do wasn't about to start a bidding war. Told Richard to earn the spot on the team, or whatever. I feel bad for him, honest, but I wish he'd buzz off.

"You and I both know that."

"So quit."

"Not that easy." It was the end of the day, I wasn't going straight home though. Not that stupid.

"Oh, right, I forgot about your valuable role as benchwarmer."

"Mm hm, that's it." I don't even care anymore. I begin pulling things out of my locker, shoving them into my backpack.

"You get hurt an awful lot for someone who doesn't even practice."

"And how do you figure that?" I wish he would leave me alone.

"I figure that you failed."

"Mm hm. At what?" I ask, uninterested.

"At ending it all. What kind of failure can't even kill themselves properly?" That's crossing a line, I almost cross another one, bring his own dead parents into the spotlight. No one knows exactly how they died. I could get his blood boiling if I tell them they didn't fail. But I don't. All I do is say quietly,

"You won't have to worry about my bench warming behind much longer." His eyes grow wide.

"You're not actually going to kill yourself are you?" He snatched my bottle of aspirin suspiciously, which I retrieved and returned to its place, glaring at him.

"Wouldn't really matter to you, but no." Richard looked a little uneasy. Whatever regrets he had he kept to himself, though, and I didn't care. I slammed my locker and walked away, leaving Richard with his bitterness and failure complex to keep him company. I was just fine alone.

But I'm not really alone. My parents were scientists, successful ones. My mother studied animals and my father worked for Richard's adopted dad, Bruce Wayne. So I used to be Richard's friend. Not anymore. When my parents died a couple years back, everything fell apart. Since then I've been on treatment for the mysterious disease that snatched them, my Uncle's been my guardian (which is working out *great*), and the only friends I really have left are animals. Mom taught me how to talk to them, how to treat them and earn their trust. Mom and I would spend hours studying them. If I ever get out of this hell hole, if I ever get the chance to make a life for myself, I'm going to be a zoologist. The animal friends I've acquired are the things I'm going to miss most when I run away. No time for sappy goodbyes to all 99 million of my pets. I need to pack.

I've got the whole plan worked out. Sort of. The only thing that really concerns me, is dying. Since I need my medication to survive and my Uncle monitors my treatment… I know running away puts me at risk of dying the way my parents did. Not running away is an even worse option though. He'll just keep taunting and torturing me. Vic knows nearly the whole situation and has promised to hide me for a few days at his dad's company. When the stir from me disappearing dies down, I should be able to skip town and then… I don't know. I have my dreams, of course, but that's all they are. Maybe Richard was right in the end. Maybe this is just going to kill me.


	2. Not home

**Chapter 2 as promised! The stage has been set and the main players introduced. Enjoy, friends**.

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Chapter 2- Kori

"Ouch…" I whispered, feeling my aching head. I admit to being a little perplexed… One minute I was in the middle of a revolt as my beloved kingdom fell to bits and now I'm in a strange car with the wheel on the wrong side. And the cars on the wrong side. Elliott, my personal guard, is also out of his zone of comfort. It would make me feel good if he was sympathetic. But he's not.

"No! You are fine!"

"Fine..." I echo, a loser, no, at a loss… A little while ago I would have been quite cantankerous to receive a scold from a servant. Today, as Elliott says,

"You aren't Royalty here! So don't go acting like it. You are merely Kori Starr, so try to blend in and not draw attention to yourself."

"I will do that," I tell my guard agreeably, gazing out the window.

"We beat the sun." It is early.

"Yeah… I forgot to reset my watch. We're not on Tamaranean time anymore." We sigh. I miss home a lot. I miss my sister. A good Queen. She will save our Country. I will go back soon to the place where people drive on the right side of the road.

"The school is open, and you can go on in." Elliot shoved stuff at me. He made me go. I did not want to go. I did not even know where I was. Not good. But it was cold with no sun so I went into warmth. I wandered about, holding my books and papers and wishing I was in Tamaran. A beautiful home. Safe. Or it used to be. I don't remember very well the people fighting us. I got a head hurt.

The in-between rooms are all empty. Everything is empty. I am lone. I think I am lone… I walk and walk more and then I bump into a short red hair boy. It takes me a second to realize that I am dropping everything. All my papers go poof and fall all everywhere.

"Hey, sorry. Are you okay?" I nod. Okay. I am. I am okay. He smiles at me.

"I'm Gar." He offers everything I dropped. I don't want to be less short than him. It is odd looking down. I am not less short on Tamaran. I am the right amount of short. Are boys here more short than girls?

"Kori." I look hurt. Feel hurt. Ouch.

"Are you okay? I have aspirin in my locker if you need some." I nod. I am hurting. My head was hit bad. I follow Gar away from a green colored hall room and to a orange colored hall room. He opens a small metal door like magic and pulled at a shiny little bottle. Then he dumped out some pills. Two.

"Here you go. It should hurt less in a couple of hours. Are you new?" I nod.

"Do you need help finding your classes?" Another nod.

"It's early." I point out.

"Yeah… I always get here early. It's better that way."

"What way?" Gar laughs all nervous.

"Oh, nothing, just that my uncle is a bit of a bully. I bet you know people like that."

"Oh. yes." I thought about my sister. But my sister is nice! Still. She comes to mind.

"Is that why you have aspirin?" I say awkward like. Gar's smile is not real. I can tell. He lets out a breath.

"Yes." I reach out and hug him. He is surprised and drops the shiny bottle. But he hugs too. I am happy. This is my friend.

"Thanks, Kori. I needed this." He whispers into the hug, and I nod. Eventually, the rooms fill with loud and Gar pulls away and shows me where I need to be. I do not want to go. I want to be home. I want to be home with my sister. I miss her. Kay. We called her Kay. Queen Kay. She said her name sounded unfriendly. I miss her. I miss the kingdom I fell out of. My Tamaran. I can not tell people of my Tamaran.

We don't even have a Wikipedia page. Not anymore. My poor Tamaran.

I do not like this place. I am scared. I miss my home and I wish that my home were not so very far away. I am worried about my people. Even the ones that were being mean and trying to scare us from our home. My sister will fight back. My sister will save us. I will come home. I am supposed to be home.

Elliott is waiting for me. Gar has given me the address that I may write to his telephone with. I asked if we might use birds to communicate instead, however, he said that birds couldn't send emojis. I don't know what that means. I don't think he knew I joked. We rarely use the birds.

"How was your day Kori?" Elliott asks, trying niceness. I just nod.

"All the kids around here have one of these. It's a phone, Kori. You can talk to people. I know we do things different in Tamaran, have more advanced technology. And birds. For aesthetic. But that's how these people do it here. And we have to fit in until we can go back. Okay?" I nod more, glancing on the phone. It is shiny. Nice cover. Has a unicorn.

I send my new friend an electric message. I find out what emojis are. I like them! So many faces. Gar tells me what each one means. He sends the smiling crying one a lot which means I am being funny. I did not mean to be funny but it makes me awfully smiley face that I am. We move on from emoji and talk deeper.

He says, "I am going to run away."

"In which direction?"

"You're funny." Actually, he says your but I will not hold that against him I too am wrong often.

"Why?"

"My home is not a home. Do you understand?" I do.

"Yes. Can I run in a direction with you?" He does not respond for awhile. For hour. Hours.

I am almost asleep against the pillow in my new room that I do not like because as Gar said, my home is not a home. My home is okay I figure but my home is not my kingdom. It does not have my sister. It does not have my subjects. I am unhappy. Not even little whale emojis can make me happy. My eyes nearly close when my new telephone lets out a yelping buzz.

"Yeah. You can come. We'll talk tomorrow, by my locker. Remember where that is?"

"Yes." I smile. A new friend. A new direction. This is not my home. But I still have family.


	3. Disappointment

**Thanks for reading... People who did. And for reviewing. And for following! I love all of you and have put so much effort into these chapters as they grew.**

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Chapter 3- Victor

I shouldn't be helping Gar Logan. He's one of my friends, sure, but I shouldn't be helping him. If my dad found out that I was going to help harbor a runaway, no, scratch that, two runaways, in his company, then he would be furious. It isn't pretty when my dad gets angry. He usually is as patient as he can be with me, always has been. Maybe he babies me a little because of the accident, but he rarely gets mad at me.

Sometimes I wish he did, though. Sometimes I wish he would be so mad at me that he would ground me or snap or just treat me like a normal kid. Not that any of my friends are normal kids or get treated like they are, but still. I've played video games and read comics, I know what it's supposed to look like. The best thing my dad ever did for me was let me play football. I was just a little kid when the accident happened, football is what makes me normal. Football is what makes me the kid who can score touchdowns and not the kid with more prosthetics than most people ever see in their lifetime. Some of the stuff is a little more advanced, stuff that I only half understand. Whenever I ask dad about it, he says it would bore me. I guess all parents do stuff like that.

Lately, I've had the whole place to myself. My friends are trying to get me to throw a party, but the maids would rat on me, they know everything. That's also why I can't hide Gar and his friend here when they run away together in a couple of days. I can tell that he's having doubts, though. Who wouldn't? Running away from everything you've ever known. I could never do it. I've thought about it, though. Sometimes when dad is so distant and secretive and overprotective, sometimes I just want to get out. But he's my family. He's always, I mean always, been there for me. I have absolutely no reason to leave him.

It's not as easy as that for some people though. I don't know the deal about Gar's new friend Kori, but I know about Gar's life, And I know about Rachel's. If anyone needed to break away from the sucky situation they have it's those two. Rachel's never gonna run though. She's too… Used to it by now. Used to having fears she doesn't understand and a family that just isn't there. Her dad's supposed to be in prison but who knows how well that's going? Not Rachel. So her guardian… Yeah, never met the guy. Rachel rarely sees him. She used to spend the night with me, when we were little. And I'd try to get her to play and hang out and she would brood and read. So I'd bite, and ask her about the book she was reading. She introduced me to a million billion worlds better than the one we live in, and gave me a glimpse at normal.

Gar's asked me at least three times if I like like Rachel. Which is ridiculous because she's been my best friend since we were like, four, when I was still getting used to all the treatments and mechanics and she was still getting used to not having anybody but me. Her robot boy. There's never been anything going on between me and Ray, but that doesn't mean I'd tell Gar that. I like the shrimp but that doesn't mean I'd want him going anywhere near Rachel. She's like my sister, so I gotta be protective of her. Although trust me when I say she can take care of herself. I'm just gonna help her out with the, uh, screening process for potential soulmates.

The more I think of the plan the more I worry that my dad is going to freak. Really really freak. Gar says he needs shelter for a couple of days. Just a couple of days, yeah, that should be fine. But what if my dad finds out, or something goes wrong? I can't think I'll get seriously yelled at but I can picture, "I'm not mad just disappointed," hanging over his head in a comic book speech bubble and that is not good stuff. People don't think I'm scared of things, because I look tough, you tend to look tough when you're pretty much the only black person in your school, and part robot to boot. But there is little I am scared of more than my father's disappointment. It's not something I could escape. Running away would just make it all the worse.

Wow that makes it sound like my dad _is_ disappointed in me. I don't know. Maybe he is. Sometimes I think that's he's disappointed that I lived and mom didn't. No one knows that about me. No one knows those are the things I worry about but they are. Most people don't have to deal with those kinds of questions and I pity the exceptions. I know that most of the people at our school… They just glide along, effortlessly. Those that see me think I'm just like them. Sometimes I see others and I think… They haven't a care in the world. Every day I learn just a little more how wrong I am.

In the end, that's why I'm helping Gar Logan. Because despite my fears of my father, I know that there are people out there with worse to fear. People who have to run to find security. People right under my nose who need help. I can't help feeling that I'll feel more disappointed in myself for not helping than my father will be for reaching out to those in need. Ultimately, that's what matters most.


	4. Mockingbirds

**Thanks for reading... People who did. And for reviewing. And for following! I love all of you and have put so much effort into these chapters as they grew.**

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Chapter 4- Rachel

It helps if no one notices you. If no one calls out to the teacher, "Hey, Rachel Roth isn't here." I know more than they ever will and honestly, I've one thing to gain from attending here.

The library. I would marry a book and raise book children if I were able to. As of now, I am not. Victor says my book obsession is unhealthy, and that I need to go outside once and awhile. Outside is for getting from one cozy book filled place to another. The outside is never as interesting as the outside inside a book. And frankly, it's safer in the book.

"If you could live in any fictional world, what would it be?" Victor ambushes me in the school library during lunch, offering me a sandwich as if I need sustenance to live. Well, I do, but that doesn't mean I'm going to accept handouts from him. I'll eat later, probably.

"I'd rather just read about fictional worlds," I mutter, though if by some miraculous power I ended up in some literary world, Middle Earth would be my first choice.

"Well, I personally would like to be in Spiderman's universe."

"Which one?"

"I don't care. Spider Gwen is pretty hot."

"That's gross. That's just gross." I had to chide. Victor is good evidence that all boys are chiefly consumed by thinking about girls. At least for Victor, it's comic book girls.

"Doesn't matter though. Marvel is too big. Too corporate. Everything they do is for money."

"Everything anyone does is for money." Victor pointed out, munching chips as quietly as possible. I willed my stomach not to grumble. Vic could probably bring an elephant in here and get away with it but if my stomach gurgles too loudly I might get kicked out. Victor finished his lunch and offered me food once more, but I ended that with a shake of my head. Then he left.

I never left, though. I spent the rest of the day there. As sixth hour began I noticed I was no longer alone with the aged yet ageless librarian. A pretty girl with pinkish red hair had walked in, browsing among the books. Not wanting to be seen, I pulled my hood over my head and went back to my book. When I glanced to the clock again, I was being stared at by the stranger.

"Hello!" I startle and the book nearly falls from my hands. I fumble to catch it so that I don't have to deal with the librarian's glare.

"...Hi," I say reluctantly.

"I am Kori." The girl introduced. I realize I've seen her talking to Victor and his little football friend. I don't remember that boy's name. Just that he and Victor play on the same team and that he's interrupted me reading once or twice. His new friend Kori is apparently just as unwise. I don't want to deal with her today, not now not while I'm reading, but whatever. I'll bite.

"Rachel."

"It is good to meet you," Kori said, smiling awkwardly at me. I am almost afraid of how big her smile is. It's even scarier that it doesn't look psychotic or forced. I don't believe that she legitimately has that much happiness inside of her. No one in this godforsaken school does. But then, perhaps Kori is too new here to have her happiness beat out of her. But I cannot relate.

"Did you need something?" I ask tentatively. "What are you reading?" Kori asked me. I showed her the cover of the book, To Kill A Mockingbird. I had read it dozens of times, but it just grows on me more and more. It gives me hope. People never have.

"Why would you kill a bird?" Kori seems troubled.

"It's not actually about killing birds. You should read it. It's very good. I'm sure the school has an extra copy you can check out." It's so unlike me to stand up like this and help someone out instead of reading.

"Thank you for the bird book!" Kori said, smiling that insanely warm smile. I nod, unable to mimic the smile, and unable to retreat into my hoodie when she wrapped her arms around me. I merely flinch. The only person who has ever hugged me is Victor and I promise I slammed him into the wall for doing something so ridiculous. I am not one for affection. However, I don't judo flip the new girl. Librarian and all. I shudder, though, until Kori steps away and leaves. The bell rings, and I am forced to check out To Kill A Mockingbird. I probably could have finished it. If Kori hadn't interrupted my read. I find people far too off-putting. Outside of stories, people are just… I have too much to worry about for myself to bring others into my sphere. I have Victor and that is all I can handle.

I get a bite to eat and go home to an empty apartment. My guardian is never home. But that doesn't matter to me. I want to be alone. If ever I don't, I take the bus to Victor's. Maybe his place is empty too, save for the servants, but it isn't alone and that's all that matters. I rarely ever want to not be alone anyways. I have books. Quiet. Sometimes I get phone calls from my dad that I won't try to answer. I used to try to talk to that cultist murderer. When I was a little girl Victor planted these weird seeds of normalcy in my head. He felt bad for not having both parents, and he inadvertently made me feel bad for having less. So I gave my dad a chance through phone calls. But that had been a bad idea. Soon it was clear to me that I wasn't supposed to be normal. I didn't pretend anymore that I was the characters in my books, normal or abnormal in their own worlds. Just like it's enough when I am lonely to sit in Victor's house, it is enough to walk through the books I read and close them in the end. It always closes. It always ends. But that's normal.


	5. High Standards

**I enjoy writing Richard more than I thought I would. He is an excellent character worth delving into. :) Don't worry if he seems out of character at the moment, though, because it'll all make sense in time.**

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Chapter 5- Richard

"Are you going to apologize to the punching bag? It appears you hurt its feelings." I startle, and he's right there. Dad must have seen my entire tantrum. He wouldn't call it a tantrum, though. He is less critical of me than I am, he would call it blowing off steam. Call it normal. But I… I have always needed to be more than normal. I was fortunate to be adopted by Bruce Wayne, who, let's be honest, is the coolest man alive. I was young when he stepped into my life, I barely remember my own parents or the life I lived before I became a Wayne. But I am going to find out. I'm going to uncover the family of my past… And make my whole family proud.

"Do you need a sparring partner Richard?" Dad offered, both of us knowing he could thrash me. Both of us knowing he never would. He would come close, though. Would just hardly hold back. He doesn't baby me, but he's never hurt me either. Sometimes I just look at him, when he's doing the little things for me, like cooking breakfast, or sparring, and I can see that he wants to protect me from the world. But he isn't going to. He's going to prepare me for whatever life wants to slap me in the face with and along the way gently nudge me in the right direction. Like now, as we begin to exchange blows and he strikes up small talk.

"You know I haven't seen that Logan boy around lately." I dodge a hit.

"Yeah." I'm not going to elaborate on my guilt.

"You two used to hang out all the time." Dad points out.

"Yeah." I grunt again. I don't want to talk about how we're both just different now. I don't blame him for being different, he lost his parents just five years ago, when he was ten. That began to end the friendship we'd had since I was adopted at four. He's a year younger than me, but we were good friends.

"So invite him over for dinner some night soon." He means to say that Gar was a good influence on me and that he's concerned for my social well-being. That's a hoot, actually, Batman concerned for my social well-being.

"We're not friends anymore." I say, trying to end the conversation, throwing a jab his way. Landing a hit.

"Why not? He's a nice kid." I know that as well as the next person. I put my force into it. I want to say, "Well I'm not a nice kid so we clashed." It's the truth, or how I see it anyway. Dad would not approve of the self-deprecation.

"We just aren't friends anymore."

"I see." He doesn't. Maybe he thinks it's about how sick Gar almost got. Maybe he thinks almost losing my at the time best friend got to me and isolated me but it didn't. Maybe he wonders if Gar losing his parents hit too close to home for me, but that's not it either. I just know that after everything that happened to him, everything that followed was fake. Our friendship, his smile, and myself. All fake.

The well meaning nagging continues at dinner, which we go out for.

"You know Victor Stone? He's on the football team?" Why football? I played in middle school and he seemed so proud of me. Enter High School, and I didn't make the team. That's what really riles me up about the whole "Shrimp boy" bench warming fiasco. I wouldn't care if… If I knew why he was even on the team. I had this theory that… Well, I was clearly wrong about him being suicidal and that's just another line I regret crossing.

"Yes, I know of him." The most I know about Victor Stone is that he is Gar's friend and that the other day I saw him talking to the prettiest girl you'd ever see. Pinkish hair, green eyes, and a smile like nothing I'd ever seen before.

"Well I'm working with his father on a project, maybe you ought to tag along Wednesday and hang out with Victor." He has this all planned out so it's totally happening. So much for isolation.

"Sounds good." I mutter. I do it because I'm trying to make him happy. But it will come and go and nothing will come of it. Victor and I have next to nothing in common.

"Good." We keep talking, stocks and school and sparring. This cycle of things he cares about, things I care about, things we both care about. Our conversation drifts like a raft on the ocean, neither of us aboard willing to admit we don't know what we're doing or where we're going. My father and I have a good relationship but we're always just figuring out what to do. Eventually dinner ends, and we drive home in almost comfortable silence.

I check over my homework while dad is watching, triple checking that each problem is done to the best of my ability. I am heir to an empire I wasn't even born into. Everything one day will just be handed to me so I want to make sure I've earned it. Not just doing my best but the best. So when I'm done with the homework I slip into the workout room and push myself. I have to push myself, always have to push myself. If I don't, then I go nowhere. I don't get better if I don't get outside my comfort zone. With that in mind, I decide I will apologize to Gar at school tomorrow. Not being friends shouldn't have made us enemies and I'm not going to become a better person if I keep on pushing people's buttons. I push myself. I work until I hurt knowing that I'll feel it in the morning. But at least I'll be feeling something.


	6. The old Gar can't come to the phone

**This is the end of part 1, which was more like a prologue. After this, the stakes get higher and our heroes come together like never before. Also, enjoy.**

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Chapter 6- Gar

I am not at school on Tuesday. I am not anywhere. Not per se. Gar Logan is disappearing. He doesn't exist anymore. No one could ever spell my name anyway. It always autocorrected to Get or Far. I can't say I won't be missed but… Wait, I can say that. The only people who care about me know where I am. As for those who never gave a crap, well, they'll continue as they were. My Uncle will throw a hissy fit for a while, though. Not that I care. He can fuss all he'd like. I'm never going back.

Kori tells me everything about why she left. She explains it in shifts, though. Words come and go for her. Sometimes something is just out of reach and so she goes for words no one would expect. But I get the story. A fallen kingdom, a fleeing princess, a family in shambles defending what they had left. She speaks in earnest of her Tamaran, a place left out of the history books. I close my eyes and picture it in my mind, supposing that we both lost a beautiful life to a tyrant.

"They'll come looking for us," I tell her. We're lying side by side on the floor in one of the side rooms Victor said he didn't think his dad really used. There's a lot of old equipment and we've kind of barricaded ourselves in.

"They are?"

"They will. We're just teenagers, you know. People are going to worry about us. Not all people, but some. Have you heard of Batman?"

"No…" I laugh a little and spread out on the ground, looking up at the stuttering lights above us.

"Well, he's this superhero. No one really knows where he came from, but he's been putting all the bad guys in jail for decades now. All the ones he knows about, anyway." Batman used to fascinate me. There was no doubt he was a real-life superhero, not like those you read about like Captain America or Iron Man. But that just puts into question… Why? What drove him to be a vigilante? I had so many questions for him, wanted to meet him one day. Then my Uncle took over my life and I wanted him to save me. That's what he did right? Save people? But he never did. No adult ever reached out to help me. No one said anything about the bruises or asked me how things were going since I lost my parents…

"I used to wait for Batman to save my behind from my Uncle," I tell Kori, because she's so easy to talk to and I feel like she understands every word.

"But he never did." Kori nods and sits up, pulling her long legs up to her chest. Thinking. It's crazy how you can tell when someone is thinking, after only knowing them for a few days. But Kori is family now.

"Why not?"

"I… I don't know. But I know that I had to save myself. No one is just going to hand you salvation, or anything else for that matter. You have to work for it." Kori is thinking again. She leans her head back and closes her eyes. I'm thinking too.

"Victor." She says suddenly, making me realize I'd almost drifted off in the silence. I'm so tired…

"Huh?"

"He just handed you this. He saved you." She's right, dang it. Feeling self-righteous could never last. I need to remember that I had help in this.

"Saved us." I mumble, Kori nodding. That's the thing… I did have allies. No superhero ever reached out to me but I did have something better. I had friends, and not just my animals. I had Kori and Victor to make this a reality. I even had Richard, at the heart of it, though we haven't been friends for years. I still had him for motivation. Another reason to skip town. I have more people to thank than I ever realized. I close my eyes again and fall asleep.

The next day passes much the same as the first one. Kori and I talk for hours, and we burn through my entire pop punk playlist, sharing earbuds and deciphering the occasionally difficult to understand lyrics. But something drives us out. Hunger or curiosity or both. We think that it's too late for anyone to still be in the lab, but we're wrong. Kori is the first to venture out. She's braver than me. I personally would like to stay in the shadows out of the way. Plus, I'm not feeling too hot. Kind of woozy, kind of shaky. Breathing feels heavy and slow. I knew running away from what was killing me would also mean running away from what was keeping me alive. Of all that I've told Kori and Victor, I've never mentioned the sickness. I've been on treatment for five years without missing a day. If I told them I needed it to survive, I wouldn't be here. Wouldn't be free. Wouldn't be saved. Dying, but dying on my own terms. Richard really was right about me sounding suicidal, but I'm not. I'm just hopeful. Still, I depress myself sometimes, so I turn into the goofy, funny, fun-to-be-around Gar. The fake one. We hear footsteps, voices. I grab Kori's hand and begin to sprint. We're so dead.

Kori and I duck into the nearest room, out of breath. At least, I am. My lungs feel like they're on fire. I feel even woozier, and nearly pass out. As I'm contemplating unconsciousness, I hear a voice that is not Kori's. I know that voice, of course. I'm in love with it. The dry, humorless voice of a dry, humorless angel.

"What are you doing here?" Then I faint in the presence of Rachel Roth.


	7. Kaboom

**So anyway, here's some action! Ish... I hope you guys don't think I wrote Kori shallowly. I don't think I did. I really enjoy writing her. I'm excited about going forward.**

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Chapter 7- Kori

"Hello!" I greet my new friend with joyfulness. She hisses at me, which is possibly a normal greeting here.

"Shhh… People are coming." I nod, scanning the room. It is not completely empty. I hear sounds too. People. We are hiding from people. Rachel will hide with us now? Gar does not look good. I do not find him handsome but he is not ugly. Except now he is and he is on the floor. Rachel does not look happy to see him on the floor. Her eyes move around the room as I did and she takes Gar's arms. I follow suit with his legs and we move to a small shelter in the middle of the big room. The shelter is like an itty bitty room all closed up, bigger than it looked outside.

"It's like the Tardis in here." Rachel says.

"What?"

"Nothing, tell you later. We should be quiet." I nod and close my two lips.

I hear voices.

"All clear, we can start."

"You were paranoid again, just like I said you'd be, you owe me a soda."

"You were serious about that?"

"I've been working since 2 AM I think I deserve a diet coke."

"The machines just switched to Pepsi, Stone is promoting them or whatnot."

"That monster…" The voices fade, leaving the room. They didn't look for us. Rachel lets out a breath.

"Why are you here Kori?" She asks suddenly, turning to me with a mad dog look on her face. I do not know what to say.

"We ran." She squats next to Gar, shaking him, not gentle.

"I heard about that. It's pretty much mass hysteria." Gar wakes up and begins coughing more.

"Shhh. We might not be in the clear." Rachel is not happy. I wonder if Rachel is ever happy. Maybe in books.

"I get that you guys ran away like Romeo and Juliet but why here?" Romeo and Juliet? I have heard of them. I think they are friends of my sister.

"Oh no, we're not dating. And Vic's helping us out until people stop looking for us. Why are you here?"

"Victor asked me to come." I met Victor. He is nice. Gar is staring at Rachel. I wonder why. She does not have anything on her face. But it is a nice face, when it is not hidden by her hood. Maybe that is why he stares. I want to find someone to stare at who has a nice face. I look at my shoes. A minute goes and Gar starts coughing bad.

"Are you sick?" I got sick when I was a young royal on Tamaran. I coughed less than Gar did. He does not look handsome right now at all. He looks ill.

"Yeah, a bit?"

"You're not contagious are you?" Rachel asks.

"No. Nothing like that." He slumps against the wall. I probably would take care of him. But I can't yet. There are no soups to give him or blankets to cover him with nor any traditional Tamaran medicines. That would cure him quickly. Tamaran medicines are quite potent.

"Are you dying?" Rachel gives me a weird look. Gar winces.

"I don't want to talk about this." Rachel sits next to him, and I take the otherside. A minute later, a boom makes the room shaky. The air fills with fire and smoke and the heat grows. I hear one last thing before everything changes.

"I think we're all dying…" Rachel says.

Everything does not go black. It goes dark gray with smoke. My skin feels tingly, a little bit burning. I can hear the roar of flames. I can breathe just good though, despite the smoke. And Gar is no longer coughing. I cannot see Gar. Maybe he is dead. I know I am not dead yet. But I feel like I am growing. Like the fire outside is inside of me. I am fire. It does not feel bad though. It feels a little like magic. I always believed in magic. Things my sister called science fiction. Tamaran always felt like a magical place. I wanted so badly to be magical too. Now maybe I am. Or maybe I am dying. But I would not smell the smoke so strong if I were dead. I think that is probably true. So I am not very worried about being dead. But I am worried about my friends. I think if the building explodes the people you are with are immediately your friends. That should be a rule. I feel a little dizzy, but I am sitting down and I don't have to fall over. I reach over and feel my friend's hand. We are all holding hands now, I can feel it. I can feel Rachel through Gar, I know we are clinging to each other, which means we are all alive. I close my eyes, hoping. I want to remain alive. I want to feel this fire inside of me forever. I want my friends to remain alive. I want to see Tamaran again. I want to breathe air not clouded with smoke and hear something other than screams and fire. So many screams. But not us. We are in its midst yet we do not scream. We do not call out for any kind of mercy. It is as if we have accepted this as the new normal. It is. I close my eyes. If I die. I will die holding the hand of my friend, who is holding the hand of our other friend. That is a good way to die.


	8. Konami

**As you'll see, Victor isn't Richard's biggest fan. I like him, as I write him, just fine, but I'm really happy with the way that I wrote Victor disliking him. And if I can shove a pop culture reference into my writing of teenage Victor than I definitely will, just as I will try to use wordplay in Richard's chapters and book (and, as seen in the last chapter also some pop culture) references with Raven, and new ways of saying and looking at things with Kori. I'm just trying to figure out each character as they relate to this story individually and it's really fun. So I hope you enjoy, this chapter will have more action. I wish I could get more into an omniscient perspective to explain _everything_ that's going one, but the specifics will have to live in my head.**

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Chapter 8- Victor

I did not want to hang out with Richard Wayne. Richard Wayne is kind of like that misunderstood villain who just wants to prove himself and just existing in the same vicinity of him can be exhausting. He's like a character in a book that makes you start yelling at the book and slamming the book into the surface you're reading on because you're just so frustrated. I guess normal people don't do that. So I had a back up plan, right? For dealing with this playdate our respective dads set up. I invited Rachel to hang out with me. She brought a book, obviously. Brought more than one. I promised her dinner and she said yes so she hitched a ride and the playdate commenced.

Rachel read.

There was a lot of thumb twiddling and I sort of just went straight to reading comic books because honestly, neither of us wanted to be there.

But then everything started going badly. I thought Richard might start something, or at least try awkward conversation. But he certainly didn't try awkward conversation. Which I appreciated a lot. Rachel said she wanted some fresh air, because I guess it got too tense for her to read or something, and straight up left. More silence. This is what you deal with when your dad is rich and works with other rich people and their rich kids are shoved on you. I've done more of this friends by force thing than I ever wanted to but the only friends I really have are ones I chose with not much money on them. And those were the friends I saw go into an experimentation room that has windows at the top which peer into the room Richard and I were currently wasting time in. I had told Gar and Kori not to go anywhere, despite having hacked the security cameras so that they would not show up on them, and I was annoyed that Rachel was wandering willy nilly too. My dad will be ticked if he finds out about them. And Richard sees them too.

"Is that Kori Starr?" He asks, face just a tint more red than usual. As I am harboring runaways, I do not know how to respond to that. But he knows it's her. He's crushing hard. Kori Starr is his Gwen Stacy. I might be a little too obsessed with Gwen Stacy...

"And Gar Logan… You're stowing runaways." He stands.

"Wait!" But he's already leaving, and my father is coming in, and a man I don't recognize.

"You're going to want to watch this Victor. Your old man's about to do something really cool." He looks so proud that I have to sit back and worry about everything from a distance. He presses a button, and the room in front of me, the room where my friends are, explodes. Of course, I'm freaking out.

"Dad, stop!" I scream, as the fire blazes and I watch from the window, trying to reverse time.

"Stop what? Mistakes will be made but this is just a trial run, and I am doing all this for you."

"You don't understand! People are getting hurt! Stop this!" I'm not even thinking anymore, I'm just hurting.

"People have always gotten hurt son… We'll reverse the hurt."

"You're causing more hurt." I growl, ready to challenge him.

"Please explain to my son why this project is worth a few people getting hurt." He said to the other man, who stood in front of me now. Dad left, and the man took out a knife. I had not been expecting that at all.

"I don't want to hurt you, Victor," Which didn't seem realistic as he was holding a knife close to my face. He continued,

"You're friends with my daughter." Um… No?

"I don't have any friends that are girls." I tell him.

"Rachel." Oh! Rachel. Yeah she's a girl. Whoops.

"You're supposed to be in prison."

"Oh, supposed to. My bad, I'll leave. See, your father knew the importance of his project and my expertise and bailed me out. We're so close to the objective and so I simply have to remove anything that will get in the way. Don't get in the way Victor." I admit to trembling, to feeling like I was about to die. But there was still rage inside of me. My friends might have died in that explosion. I don't back down. I can't at this point. Whatever happens. I feel something surging through me. It might be adrenaline, or panic, but something is going on. I stand tall, glowering at him, unwilling to back down.

"As you wish," Rachel's father said, striking me in the head with his blade. It doesn't happen in slow motion like I was taught to believe by action movies. It happens fast and the pain comes fast too. I want to be as far away from the source of pain as possible, and stumble back. As I scream a new wave of rage, panic, and pain all begin to fuel something foreign inside of me. I can no longer see out of one of my eyes but I see a huge flash of light through my other, hear a loud thud as my attacker gets thrown back, and feel… I feel, aside from the pain and anger, adrenaline. I just did something I didn't know I was capable of doing. Like cheat coding life. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, A, B. I didn't stick around to see if he got back up or if I could tap back into my arm bazooka lightsaber thing. I rushed out of the room. I didn't know where I was going, but I wasn't going home. I wasn't sticking around for my father's destructive mistakes. I rushed past a tall dark figure,

"Wait, kid, stop," I recognized, after fleeing further, that I had run past Batman, a real life superhero. I should have fanboyed. But I was going and wasn't stopping. Blood dripped down my face and I could hardly see, but I kept running. Then, I was grabbed by the arm and pulled into a side hall.

And for once in my life, I was glad to see Richard Wayne.


	9. New experiences

**Rachel went on a lot of tangents in this chapter, which I'm sorry and I'll rationalize to the panic and the sheer amount of things that are happening in this chapter. Regardless, this is really fun to write. I know I say that a lot, but I usually don't get this much joy from a story request as I am from this one. I just wanted to add that I'm posting four chapters instead of two at a time because I felt the story needed to flow together that way. Back to regular posting after that. I know four is a lot to read, especially with some slightly longer chapters, so as usual, read at your leisure and review if you get a chance!**

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Chapter 9- Rachel

I have never regretted social interaction more. Agreeing to come to Victor's dad's place of work so the evening would be less terrible for Victor, while a seemingly insignificant favor, was a mistake. I could have been at home reading. I could have been reading a book. Any book. Even hunger games, in fact, would be better than this. Even watching a movie based on a book would be better than this and we all know how terrible those are. I think, no, no, I wouldn't… But perhaps… I suppose in some alternate universe I might even choose watching the twilight movies over this explosion. Alternate universes are too unbelievable though.

Well. Living through a massive explosion and subsequent radiation, that was not very believable either. I am freaking out. Wow. I don't say I'm freaked out very much. I also… I don't hold hands. I don't remember the last time I ever held hands… Actually, I do. But that was long ago. I didn't think it would happen again. I guess in death you always have to reach out. It's been a long time since I saw a death. Thinking that this one was my turn, I reached out for the nearest hand. I reached out to someone, anyone, and it happened to be Gar. It was a little clammy, but it… It had to happen. It was written that way. And I didn't really dislike it. But I'm not going to do it again, and as soon as it was evident we were alive I let go. Things felt different. As the explosion was going on my eyes were closed and the only things I was aware of were the heat and the hand but as soon as I opened my eyes again on the other side of that disaster, everything was different.

I stood, but I did not just stand. I floated. No, floated isn't the word for me. I would call it hovering. Levitation, that's the one. Levitation. Now Star- Star? Why would I think of Star, her name is Kori, she floated. Gar did not float or levitate. But Gar was not normal either. Well, from what I've known of Gar, he was never normal, from what I've known of myself and Kori, we weren't either. But he now was even less normal. He was green. Like, broccoli colored green. Yes, that's about right, his hair was the color (though not shape) of the top of broccoli, and his skin was the color of the stem. I didn't want to break this to him. I don't break things to people. I don't talk to people, I don't hold people's hands, and I don't levitate either. I think I'm hallucinating. From the radiation. Radiation is kind of weird, too, because in American movies it makes superheroes. That's what Star, I keep calling her Star, because it's her last name I think, looks like. A superhero. In Japanese movies, radiation makes monsters. That's how Gar looks. Like a monster. A short monster. A broccoli goblin, or something. A moldy elf, perhaps. He's not looking at the color of his skin though, he's looking at Kori and I. Kori's eyes are glowing. I wonder if mine are. I hope not. I manage to calm down and stop levitating. Calm seems to be the key to controlling, if not new powers, then this twisted death hallucination.

"We need to leave." I am surprised, because today is the day I can be surprised, to hear Gar say that. It sounds like something I would say.

"Yeah." I agree. Kori's eyes stop glowing thank goodness. I really hope mine don't glow. We walk through the ruined room, and I feel a little like a ghost moving through the wreckage. Living the life of some fictional character, a life that is not my own. It's unspoken, but we are going to try to leave the building. If it ever was safe, it now isn't.

I've never had to worry about having purpose before. Never had to pick a direction and just go because the situation hasn't demanded fleeing in a long time. I do not run. Running is for people who either want to get where they are going or get away from where they are. From the way Gar darts ahead I suspect the latter has often been the case for him. Kori optimizes her new ability to fly. I don't. I try running. I'm sweating. I hate it. The explosion could have killed us but it decided instead to change us, rewrite our DNA and ruin us. We round a corner and nearly crash into people. Not knowing who they were, just knowing they weren't like us, weren't rewritten like us. Something takes over me. Darkness shreds through me like I'm paper, pushing back the people in front of us, not at full strength. I could have been more forceful, somehow I know I could, but a voice stops me.

"Rachel! You're not dead!" Victor. He picks me up into a hug. Any normal day I would push him away, the shadowy tendrils within me ready to do just that. But I can't bring myself to do that. He believed I was dead and that concerned him. Another new experience for me. But I don't hug back.

"What happened to your eye?"

"Your dad." Victor wasn't one of those guys who inserts your dad or your mom jokes like some 9th grade imbecile. He's serious. My father is supposed to be in prison, but I never fully trusted that any bars could hold him. Not after what he did. I feel something else that is new, or at least, was buried for a long time. Fear. The shadows return and Victor drops me out of concern.

"Hey… It's okay. He'll be sent back to prison. Even if he isn't, we'll protect you." He talks to me as if I'm a scared kitten or a small child, which I dislike. The shadows grow and swarm me but I force calm into my mind until they melt into me once more. I'm being stared at a lot more than I want to be.

"It won't be okay." I say, pulling my hood over my face to avoid the stares. It doesn't seem to be me that says that, but my fear. Nothing will be okay if he gets to me. I close my eyes tightly so that the nightmares don't replay. I hear Richard tell Victor that we should do something about his eye and then get out. One explosion changed us, rewrote our DNA, and it is evident now that one of the changes is that we are no longer people, we are fugitives, in this together. We run. I really don't like running.


	10. Dinosaurs

**Enjoy this chapter and all its glory. I really like writing Richard, especially as he evolves, but Kori in this section was the most fun to write and I just got finished doing so. Therefore, not much to say about Richard. Still, he is evolving.**

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Chapter 10- Richard

To my father, I say I am sorry. I was wrong. I thought that going to work with you would be terribly boring, it absolutely was not. I also say goodbye. Because in the midst of all this chaos and all this weird, the only thing to do is run. I'll come when I have answers, but it will be much past curfew. I'm sorry. Think of this as a heightened version of my punching bag assault from the other day. Blowing off steam.

I didn't see the explosion like Victor did or experience it the way Gar and Kori and…. Uh… Rachel did. But I heard it. Then I ran into my father, who told me there had been an explosion in the experimentation room we had been boredly watching and that I needed to stay out of the way and be careful. A speech I'd heard before, the staying out of the way and being careful part anyway. I saw the look in my father's eyes. He was about to go from being Bruce Wayne to being Batman in a matter of seconds. It was in my best interest to stay out of the way, however, according to my dad, the room where people I admittedly cared about were had just exploded. I needed in a desperate way to see if there were survivors so that I could succumb to guilt the proper way. So I began creeping down side passages searching for the most efficient and unnoticeable way down, a bit lost in the sprawling building.

Then I noticed another soul fleeing destruction and bleeding heavily. Victor Stone. I would have just hidden away, but he knew this building better than I did and was probably concerned regarding survivors just as much so I pulled him into the side hall and told him my end goal. My father wouldn't let me out of the house without minimal first aid skills under my belt and so tending to that optic wound would be our next priority.

I did not expect, then, to actually run into the survivors while we searched for them. After that type of explosion, purportedly freaking massive (Victor's words), they shouldn't have been walking around. Much less flying, glowing, and expressing superpowers. I couldn't even look at or address Gar because my mind just couldn't wrap around his new green skin tone. Rachel and Victor have an exchange but I am staring at Kori Starr. She was in my math class for a few days, but that was enough. I've lain awake thinking about her enough to know I have a problem. No matter that now, from the frenzied scraps of information I've gotten I know this place isn't safe. So we flee.

Only after Victor's eye, or lack of, is treated can we settle in to sort out the anarchy. I finally have to look at Gar and his green skin and hair.

"Why are you green? What happened to you three in the explosion?"

"Radiation." Rachel answers. She appears much less demonic and much less noticeable than she did when she was controlling pure darkness a little bit ago. Before seeing her surrounded by shadows that bent to her will, I hadn't seen her at all before today, for Victor and I's playdate.

"That makes sense, but why would it affect each of you differently?" I ask. No response. No one knows yet. It's evident that Rachel can control shadow demons and Kori can fly and her eyes glow. Possibly other things also. Gar remains closed off, not speaking. Thinking. I have other questions I want to ask about the experience of the explosion, and our primarily unspoken decision to run away together, and whether or not Kori and Gar are dating. But it's so late. We're all exhausted and interrogation would just be agitating. We're bunkered down just outside the city and people are bound to come looking for us. Dad is going to freak out. I'm freaking out. I suggest sleep, not meeting anyone's eyes. I'm the least qualified here to be making suggestions and asking questions. I'm the one with the least stake and sacrifice in this whole ordeal. I'm the one who had absolutely no reason to run. That, I think, is the reason I fell blindly into leadership. Because everyone is too invested and exhausted by this to lead. So suddenly, all of their problems become mine. There is a weight on my shoulders as I lie down to sleep.

I have very weird dreams that night. I usually don't dream. But now my night is filled with odd pictures. People, places, powers. In my sleep, I realize that I'm terrified of Rachel Roth. And in my sleep, I'm convinced there is more to Gar than a new look. And in my sleep, I dream an uncomfortable amount about Kori. That part makes sense. When I wake up to sunlight, there's a weight on my chest. It's a cat. A green cat. I startle and the cat springs off of me, hissing and losing its mind, scratching into my shirt, and becoming my former best friend before my very eyes. He hugs himself and groans,

"Oh, that was so trippy… Did you see that too? Was that real?" This is the most Gar has voluntarily said to me in a long time. I don't know why I drove a wedge between us and taunted him for being on the wrong side. I should have been quiet or made nice. I don't know why I couldn't do that.

"Yeah. I saw. Try it again." He looks at me like I'm the one with green skin and big ears (the big ears aren't new though).

"I'm serious. Even if you never want to shapeshift again you need to have control over it or you could get hurt." It's one of those things I regret saying, but then, everything I've said to Gar- except for, "My condolences."- in the past five years has been something I've regretted. Because either it is unnecessarily or dishonestly hateful or cryptically and contradictorily caring. At this point, he probably thinks that I'm incredibly birdbrained and moronic. But he takes my advice and ignores my concern, thankfully. I watch him close his eyes, for a second, doing nothing. Barely breathing. And then, a little green spider takes his place. I wonder if it's because I hate spiders, but then, he probably doesn't remember anything like that. Then, he's back to being Gar.

"It was smart to start small and work your way up. Try a mouse." He tries a mouse, again it works after some concentration, but I can tell you that little green mouse and I are thinking the same exact thought. Dinosaurs. When we were little kids half of the games we played were some variation of playing dinos. But it would be way too risky in our barely hidden current location to attempt to shift into anything bigger than a medium sized dog. Still. A tyrannosaurus rex would be even cooler than Rachel's army of shadows. Way cooler… Gar changes back from a mouse and laughs, voicing the idea, grinning. Without thinking, I laugh too, a weight lifted from my chest and shoulders as a smile finds its way to my face.


	11. Chicken man

**I really like Gar.**

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Chapter 11- Gar

I didn't mean to turn into a cat in the middle of the night and curl up on Richard's chest. It was kind of like sleepwalking. I thought, in the moment, that I was dreaming about being a cat. The dream was a lot less weird than yesterday. Until I woke up. Then I kind of freaked out. It didn't take long, though, to get a small grasp over my powers. It didn't take long for those powers to make sense. To anyone else though, it wouldn't make sense for me to suddenly be able to shapeshift but I'd been thinking all night about the explosion. I thought everything was over, that my final breath would be spent holding Rachel Roth's hand. I've had worse feelings. And I was dying anyway. My lungs were failing, my immune system was failing, I was failing. I thought the explosion was just going to speed up my death. But it reversed it. The radiation activated the years of medicine keeping me alive and eradicated the disease that it attacked. Instead of killing me faster, it gave me a chance to survive.

That wasn't what I was going to say though. If the Gar who ran away had been pretending to be dead, the Gar who went through the explosion is definitely dead. I don't look the same, I don't feel the same. I'm not Gar anymore. Or maybe I'm still Gar, just not the Gar who I'd been the past five years, under my Uncle's regime. After clicking through a few new forms, I return to my new green form and tell Richard my theory about being cured. It's a big leap but I know what that disease feels like. And I know it's gone. Surprisingly, Richard believes me. But I guess that's not the most amazing thing that has happened in the past 24 hours. Before we could discuss more, the others begin to wake up. I doubt anyone had a restful night. Not after everything that happened.

Victor wakes up first. He's never going to see out of his left eye again. Well, not naturally anyway. Kori wakes up next and seems relatively cheerful. I suppose she's always that way. And then Rachel arises, still gorgeous as always, but not too happy to face the day. Awkward silence blankets us. Apparently awkward was a trigger for my not yet completely controllable powers. I transformed into a pterodactyl. It feels a little cramped. I'm being stared at. I can't believe Richard got me thinking about dinosaurs. It was my panic mode. Not really panic just… Wow, I guess I'm the guy who does weird stuff to feel the void. Beats being what I was before though. At least the weird stuff feels like me. Not fake me.

"That was awesome," Richard tells me when I change back.

"Right?" I want to do it again in a space I could actually fly in.

"Uh, ignoring that, we should talk about yesterday," Victor said. He's a pretty big guy, so the cramped current living space affects him the most right now. Forget talking, we need to get further away.

"About what part? About the radioactive explosion or my cultist father who turned you into Nick Fury?" He looked interested, suddenly.

"Hey, do I really look like Nick Fury?" He kind of lifted his head. He was more into comics and I was more into video games, comic book based video games being our best compromise on what we have regrettably been calling bro night. What a stupid name.

"No." Rachel shut that one down quickly. Victor seemed to pout. Victor's cool and everything, with his robot parts and his potential to appear as Nick Fury, but I'm sure Rachel just saw me turn into a pterodactyl and so I really really hope I don't have to battle him over Rachel's heart. I mean she's acting all cool to him but who knows. There might be something between them and-

And I undersell my cool pterodactyl moment by then changing into the close relative, a chicken. Kori laughs.

"Well, we could talk about the crazy new powers you three have," Richard says, giving me a look. He wants me to put out my theory for everyone. I don't know. I said it to him because he was pushing me to understand and control my powers and he knew prior of my illness. I don't want to admit that to Victor and Kori who I don't think would have ever supported me in running away had they known the health risks. But I do. I do because from what I understand I'm the only one of our little dynamite trio (that's what I'm calling. Like bro night, I will probably come to regret this) who understands anything.

So I put all the cards on the table, about being sick and running away from the only thing keeping me alive to how I think the radiation reacted with both the medicine and the disease to form what Kori is calling "Chicken Man." Did no one see me turn into a pterodactyl because that is something I can do and yet I'm Chicken Man? Victor looks like he's planning on talking to me later, and he isn't happy. But our topic shifts to where we're going next. Richard is convinced that a lot of people will be after us.

"I don't think I should go with you," I tell them, because out of all of us, I'm the one who's going to draw the most attention. Plus, Gar is dead. I explain that. That I'm trying to drop off the face of the planet for a while and that it would be easier for them to run if I wasn't around.

"Well, yes, a little green goblin might be a little conspicuous-" Richard starts.

"Is there going to be a but? Because you sound like you're arguing for my perspective." Richard gives me that tried and tested hush I'm older than you glare, which can only be responded to with an eye roll.

"No, I'm not. What I'm trying to say is that with your powers we can travel with you inconspicuously. Rachel has a hoodie, you can transform into a mouse or another small animal and travel easily in her hoodie pocket."

"No." Rachel said.

"You heard her," I say, feeling my face redden at the mention of Rachel. Richard gave her a look.

"Rachel, please. We will do everything we can to get answers and bring justice to your father. Like a mini Justice League," Mini Justice League is not great, but it might be better than Dynamite Trio... Nah.

"But we need your cooperation. Gar will cause no trouble." Apparently, he feels comfortable promising that but my powers are very obviously triggered by nervousness and awkwardness, both things that abound when I am near her angelic being. I can only imagine turning into a mouse and becoming suddenly a larger animal while in her hoodie pocket. Plus, transforming tires me out. And, I realize now, makes me really hungry. It could deteriorate my energy and health. But if she's game with it, then so am I, risks or not. Anything I've charged into recently has come with plenty of risks.

"Fine." She relents.

"But you cannot poop in my hoodie pocket."

"Never. Speaking of… Can we get food?"


	12. Bell yes

**This might be my favorite so far. But let's be clear, writing Kori has never felt wrong.**

* * *

Chapter 12- Kori

I am sent out with Raven and mouse Gar to find and acquire food. I am looking for berries and other sustaining vegetation. Raven says taco bell. I don't understand anything about that sentence.

"I'm vegetarian," Gar says. I do not understand anything about that sentence either. English is not my preferred language. We set off. The explosion is not far from our brains but we are not acting anymore like the friends I thought we were when we went kaboom. We do no holding of hands. And Rachel is not happy to carry around mouse Gar. I think that she might not like mice. But I think he is cute as a mouse. Cuter than when human. But being green is certainly interesting and I like it a good bit. My eyes glow now. They are green but not the same green as Gar. Raven's eyes do not glow. But she has not looked at herself. She does not know there is a gem on her forehead. It is very pretty and no one wants to tell her. Maybe she does not like pretty things. That is maybe why she wears the same dark blue hoodie every day. We go to the place of tacos. It smells very amazing and I am very hungry now. Richard gave Rachel a card which passes as currency here and she tells a man behind a desk what food we would like. I add up in my head how much everything would cost but he blinks one of his eyes at us and makes us pay much less.

"Thanks." Rachel says, taking the food. I notice especially that he is staring at me. I wish he were not because it is very annoying. He is staring at me the way Gar stares at Rachel but he is not staring at my face like Gar stares at Rachel's face. He is staring at my belly button. Even in Tamaran that is not custom. It is not polite. Boys who like girls should look at their eyes, glowing green or otherwise. His eyes move up and I am pleased but they still fail to meet my eyes. I huff and grab bags of food from the counter. Then we return to the others.

"Hey, are you okay?" Richard asks me as Raven forces Gar out of her pocket and begins distributing food. She shoves warm paper wrapped food items at Richard and I.

"Yes. Why would I not be?"

"I just mean the explosion. Must have been scary, right?"

"No. I have seen more scary things." I remember revolution. Revolt. Disloyalty to the throne. That was scary.

"Oh." He looks into my eyes, searching for something, I recall my introspection from earlier. He is looking into my eyes. That is the right place to look. I wonder if he likes me. I take a bite as he chatters on, meeting his eyes also. I realize I am in love. With taco bell. Oh yes. This is a good food item. I finish my two tacos and return to listening to him. He is asking me a question.

"Where are you from?" I can give an answer to that now because Elliott is not over me any longer and I am friends of him. I trust him. I think.

"Tamaran."

"Excuse me?" He was less than understanding. I remember now that Tamaran has no wikipedia page. I think that is how people in this country get all of their information.

"It is a very nice country. But there are very unnice people there who wanted to rule my nice country and so I got sent here." He chokes on taco bell.

"You're royalty?" I blink.

"Why?"

"Because you said my country."

"Yes. My home."

"Oh." I do not know if it is safe to reveal my true identity-though I told Gar-until my country is safe. And Tamaran will be safe once more. Rachel controls dark matter, Gar becomes cute little animals, and I know there is more than just glowing eyes and flight in me. I will use my new gifts and the ones instilled in me by my heritage. The gifts given me by Tamaran will help me save it. I will go home. I will see my sister.

"I am going home soon. I don't know if I will come back."

"But your country is in danger."

"Exactly. That is why I must come home! When I was exiled I was not strong. But I am now."

"We don't know the extent of your powers or whether or not you can control them."

"I can."

"Nothing rash should be done." I nod as if I understand but I understand more than he knows. My country is in danger. Corrupt bad people are in my home unwelcome and I must kick them out. Kay would want me to come home. She had me sent away only because of the danger but I think I am stronger than the danger.

"I would like to help you, Kori,"

"My full name is Koriand'r. Opposed to that you may call me Star." It was the nickname my sister gave me. It became my last name in hurried moments. I am thinking better than I was when the accident occurred and I got banished. I am stronger and smarter now I think and I must go home.

"When we left Stone Industries after the explosion we became a team. There can't be moves made without each other or agendas followed that are followed alone. No man is an island."

"Of course not. That would be strange. A man being an island."

"That's not what that means. It means no one can do anything without the support of others. So we get to safer ground and we plan our attacks accordingly. A lot of things are going on. A lot of unnice people have to be taken down. If we can bring justice to Tamaran it will be one of our top priorities but in these circumstances it can't be our only priority. Do you understand?"

"Yes." He is a good boy and looks girls in the eye but he is condescending to a slight degree. He may learn not to do that. Of course he does not know that I am royalty yet. He may never know. I like this idea of a team. But he is phrasing it wrong. It is friends. It is family. It is impromptu home. And as in my country, my original home, their priorities have become mine.

"Are you going to eat your second taco?"


	13. Installing Updates

**I have done extensive research into Cyborg and... I still can't figure out his eye color.**

* * *

Chapter 13- Victor

Rachel is different now. And I don't mean because of the forehead jewel or the cool dark side level powers. What I mean by different, is that she let me hug her. That is not normal. She could have used the force to send me flying or just taken my arm and judo flipped me like she learned to do from a book and practiced on me a couple times. But she let me hug her. And… She was afraid. Rachel doesn't get scared. We jump ship and head to a newer safer location. Richard had Ray and Kori get cash back from taco bell so he wouldn't have to use his credit card to make purchases since it will no doubt be tracked. We pay for four bus tickets and drift further away from town, an idea forming in my head.

"Ray, do you have any extra paper?"

"Don't call me Ray." She's a little moody, probably from the explosion.

"I've always called you Ray." She begins to rip out those excessive extra sheets of paper that are always in books. Kori sees what she's doing and digs into her bag, contributing more paper. They have the same book, To Kill A mockingbird. Both technically stolen from our high school library, but honestly the least of our worries. We have a few hours on this bus, so I borrow a pen from an old lady seated in front of us and begin to sketch on my accumulated paper.

When we arrive at the last stop the bus has before turning around and try to find a new place to stay for the night, I show Richard what I've concocted.

"I… Uh. I don't really understand." He admits, looking slightly confused. I realize that it's all tech mumbo jumbo to anyone else, my father would see these sketches and notes and say it was archaic at best, but I can only use what I have to work with. Some parts from my already built in robotics and the rest from my laptop and phone.

"Right, well, I've run all the calculations a couple times and if I was right then I should have sufficient parts to create a functioning eyepiece, a robotic eye, to match the rest that's mechanical about me." Richard nods slowly.

"Is there anything you need to get it done?"

"A clear space to work, a couple hours, a couple extra hands, Gar and Rachel should work fine, and pizza."

"Got it. We have two motel rooms. You guys can take one to work."

"Alright. And you can figure out our next plan of attack."

"Right. Will do."

I begin disassembling my laptop as soon as we get into the motel room. With the number of moving parts I have to deal with, I would be stupid not to have a tool case in my backpack. I tell Ray to read up on the blueprints I made up. Reading is what she does, and I'm going to need her to be the one to install the eyepiece. She's smart enough and steady enough to do it, I know I can count on her, I always have. I trust Gar and his intellect too, of course, but I didn't really request his help because I needed it. Instead, he and I need to have a talk.

"Hey, shrimp boy… I think you owe me an explanation. Allowing me to help you die." I accuse, glancing up at him.

"I didn't die…" He mumbles, not meeting my eye.

"You had no way of knowing you wouldn't die though. It was careless and reckless of you. You risked your life with no thought or concern of those who would mourn you."

"I suppose you mean you?" He asked, but he asked sincerely, not sarcastically.

"Yes!"

"Really?" He seems surprised.

"Yeah, Gar, you're my friend. Losing a friend…"

"I know what it's like, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry I put you in that position."

"Yeah, guess I forgive you, because you're alive and all. And I know why you did it. You stayed for five years of abuse. I ran immediately after…" I gesture around my eye.

"Yeah." I keep working. It's rougher than I'd like to be.

"If you're squeamish, Gar, you might want to skip this part."

"I don't get that option?" Rachel asks, as I gesture her over.

"You aren't squeamish." She's read too many graphically descriptive war novels to be considered squeamish. Gar walks away, transforming into a bulldog and curling up under the bed.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked as she hovered over me, the device in hand.

"Yes. I'm sure."

"If something goes wrong you could go blind."

"Then I could become Daredevil."

"Be serious." She said sharply, holding the knife.

"I am. I understand the risks and I trust you." I close my eye, waiting for the incision. It doesn't come.

"Rachel?"

"I don't trust myself." She said quietly. She's afraid, again. Like the floodgates have been opened for her experiencing fear.

"You are the first person I'd trust to do anything, anytime. Because you are tough, and smart. And unstoppable. If anyone can do this, it's you."

"It's going to hurt a lot."

"I know."

"Good. Now stop talking." The first incision comes.

We don't have anaesthesia, but I pass out quickly enough. I know that had I stayed by my father's side, then this operation would be painless and professional. Rachel knows what she's doing, she's a fast learner and my instructions were beyond detailed. I should be back to working order after she's done, but it's obviously crude, using parts from two phones, a laptop, and parts of my other robotic replacements I'm just finding out about. I have a weapons arsenal built into me and I didn't know until just yesterday. I'm in a soupy layer of consciousness, aware enough to feel the pain, deep enough to know that I'm almost dreaming. I know, then, when I re-enter consciousness. I open my eyes. One eye, the right one, opens easily, a little fuzzy with sleep but unharmed. My left eye shows an updating screen, at 1%. I try to sit up and am pushed back down by shadows.

"You should sleep. You just had surgery provided by a minor." She has a point, and sleep sounds like heaven. Better than hurt, at least. So I close my eyes once more and disappear.


	14. Disappear

**By the way, and please chime in if you have an opinion because if you don't I'll just do it, I was thinking of tacking on a chapter that gives us some info into what's going on with the adults in this scenario. So basically a thousand or so words about Batman freaking out over his missing son. Yea or nay?**

* * *

Chapter 14- Rachel

I am not good at saying no to Victor. At least not in recent times, which is ridiculous, as I've rejected his various requests and offers on hundreds of occasions. But he asks me to hang out with him at his dad's work so he's not left alone all night with Richard Wayne. And I said yes. He hugged me, and I said nothing, but nothing wasn't what I would've said. Normally I would have shoved him away in heartbeat but I did not. And then he asked me to perform surgery on him, on his head and his face and his mind… And I said yes. I did it. I have not been so out of my wits afraid in a very long time but today I feared I would ruin or even take his life and I was terrified. I don't know this feeling but I know what it isn't.

"Are you and Victor dating?" Richard, of all people, asked me as I went in to get some pizza after washing all the blood off of my skin in the shower. Gar was already there munching on a slice of cheese pizza and watching a super old movie on the hotel's iffy cable.

"What? No." I have strong, positive feelings toward Victor, but I'm pretty sure they're familial. Definitely not romantic. The thought makes me shudder. The shower is running. Must be Kori. He says quieter this time,

"Do you know if Kori and Gar are dating?" Gar is literally right there. Numerous opportunities have arisen for Richard to pose the question. I do know, but him knowing isn't any of my business. It isn't his business either.

"Reconnect your mouth to your brain and ask them yourself. And before you pose another such question recall that not every story has to be a romance."

"Right. Sorry." He pauses for a second, kind of shuffles. I was rude. It wouldn't be something I'd think about, but since the explosion, I've felt a lot more. Not just my own feelings, those of others. The word for that is empath. The word for that is torture.

"Yeah. I'm sorry too." I force myself to say, pulling my hood closer, wanting to escape the situation.

"Hey uh… When we were getting the pizza we got you something. It was Kori's idea…" He hands me a bag. It's a hoodie, similar to my own but bigger, newer, cleaner.

"Thanks." I'm surprised by the gesture.

"We figured you'd want clean clothes."

"Yeah." This hoodie, my pride and joy for a while, is blood splattered. I leave the room to put the new one on, and it fits really well. I feel safe. Victor is still asleep in the other room, and before I leave again I drag the thin sheets and blankets over him.

I don't go back to the room with the pizza and the people. I need to be alone. I have a book, but I don't read. I dangle my legs into the motel pool and stare at my reflection in the rippled water. The stone in my head confuses me. How did it appear? Was it shrapnel from the explosion? But then, the only thing that really hit us from the explosion was heat and radiation. I don't understand the jewel or what it does. It reminds me of an infinity stone from the comic books Victor's always dragging me into. I stare at it and frown, concentrating my powers. Because, as it happens, I have powers. I need to control them or else… Things could get out of hand. Focus, Rachel… I force my attention and the dark mist comes at my command. It shoots towards the nearest being, at first leaving me nervous of hurting and alerting an innocent pool-goer. Instead, it's just Gar, who turns into a mouse before my shadows can hit.

"I think this hotel has a rodent problem," I say when he appears in his new form, giving him a look that says I want to be alone. He shrugs off the look and my statement and sits by my side, his green toes dangling in the water.

"Practicing your powers?"

"Yeah. Demonic darkness summoning shouldn't be unchecked."

"I don't think of it as demonic." I get a strong feeling off of him. An odd feeling. My cheeks redden impulsively and I shrink into my hoodie, not responding.

"I think your powers are awesome. And you could do so much good with them."

"Is that what you're doing with your powers? You seem to just want to disappear."

"Everyone wants to disappear. You, me, Victor, Kori, Richard. At the heart of all of us, we want to disappear from something. But I'll tell you something…" Another wave of powerful emotion induces a little queasiness. I don't understand where this is going. I'm scared again, but of him? No, I could take him in a fight, pterodactyl or not. Scared of what he has to tell me. I say nothing. Not urging him forward, but stupidly not stopping what comes next.

"I would rather be here next to you than anywhere else disappearing." I stand up, uneasy and unprepared. I've read a lot of books where something like this happens but books don't apply to my real life. They just provide unhelpful parallels. My stomach churns, regretting the pizza.

"I wanted to be alone, so, please excuse me." I feel, as I walk away swiftly, a heart sagging hurt left in the air. I don't know if it's his or mine. I need to be alone.

So I head to the motel roof. I doubt anyone will find me there or interrupt my isolation. He was right, everyone wants to disappear. That's why I'm here watching the blinking motel sign, and I realize it would be beyond simple to truly disappear. I could vanish. Pick a direction and just go. Something keeps me tethered to the roof, however. Maybe it's Gar's feelings or Victor's or maybe the potent emotion keeping me here is my own. Maybe I like being a part of something. Being around people who defy all odds and enjoy spending time with me. People who trust me. People who are there when you don't know you want people there. I don't know. I watch the motel lights and the stars and grow cold and introspective. Before I can fall asleep I levitate back down to the ground and to the people who care. I would rather not disappear tonight.


	15. Humility

Chapter 15- Richard

A leader needs to first and foremost keep humility in their mind during every occasion. Which would have helped me, perhaps, in avoiding the times I was roasted today. That happened at least four times today. Kori roasted me twice. I doubt she knew she roasted me, and I doubt Victor knew, who did it later, but Rachel knew exactly the pride shattering blow she dealt me. But she was right. I shouldn't have asked her a question about a relationship that wasn't hers. Or about a relationship that was possibly hers. Really I think it's safest to not talk to Rachel. But that would make me a bad leader… Gar left to follow Rachel before I could ask him about his potential relationship with Kori. So I waited for Kori to finish her shower and reflected on the other recent blows to my pride. But who really needs pride anyway? Pride is a lead to hurt thing. Leads to damage. Like the damage to my perceived intelligence when I saw that Victor is way smarter than me. And also the damage to my sense of heroism when I realized that Star, that's what she asked me to call her, was tougher than she appeared. Which I should've known when I saw her fly for the first time.

Star came out of the bathroom with wet hair, making me realize that her hair is more red than pink. I stared at her so often in the opportunities I had to stare, but I never really saw her.

"Star!" I wave her over. She smiles at me. It's a nice smile to see, it reassures me.

"Hello!"

"How did you come to be called Star?" I ask casually, trying to slide into the conversation.

"It is the name my sister has always called me. My parents gave me the name Star after the name Koriand'r. But my sister is the only family now."

"Your parents died?" _My condolences_ tips my tongue. I've said it, thought it, felt it.

"Yes." Sadness haunts her voice.

"My parents died too. You know, they didn't give me the name Richard? My birth name was Robin. Like Robin Hood." She looks at me, puzzled. I suppose she doesn't know who Robin Hood is.

"Why don't you go by Robin?"

"My adopted dad, he's pretty amazing, and he gave me the name Richard. So I go by Richard."

"I like Robin…"

"Yeah, me too." I always have liked Robin. It gives me a sense of connection with my parents. I still have no idea what happened to them, and my memories of them are faded. I should go by Robin. After all, this is essentially a new beginning for us. I was bound to start over eventually. Things were going well between Star and I... And then I stuck my foot in my mouth.

"Hey, are you and Gar in a relationship?"

"Yes. A friend relationship."

"No… I meant boyfriend and girlfriend."

"We are not that." Relief floods into me. I have a chance. Except, from what she says next, I really don't.

"Robin, you may not know this, but you have a way of speaking to me. Condescension. I would like to understand why. English was not my first language and damage has recently been done to my Broca's area. I am not ignorant, yet you speak to me as such." My face burned red. I was clearly the ignorant one, and Star put me in my place.

"I'm sorry Star, I really am. I won't talk to you that way ever again. I should have always known what a tough, intelligent girl you are. Excuse me."

I go to the other room and hit the floor, doing a few dozen pushups before just laying there in defeat. Who am I? Richard, no, Robin Wayne. Failure to my friends and family. Not as tough, or as smart, or as considerate as I labored to be. I was always so obsessed with not disappointing my father that I inadvertently became a disappointment to myself.

Gar crawls under the door in bug form then changes back. I've gotten used to looking at his green skin, I've gotten used to all of the weirdness.

"Hey." He sounds like I feel, discouraged.

"What's wrong?" I ask, sitting up.

"Girls are weird, man."

"Tell me about it." We sit in silence, Victor snoring on his bed.

"Hey, can you do me a favor and call me Robin? My parents gave me that name."

"Sure, Robin," I remember now that Gar is a good person and a good friend. We should have never lost touch. But both of us changed, and I burned those bridges between us.

"Can I ask you something, Gar?"

"I guess." He still sounds glum from whatever happened when he followed Rachel.

"Why did you run away?" He sighs.

"You know that when my parents died my Uncle moved in to be my guardian?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he squandered the money they left me and treated me like I was a doormat. I was tired of hurting and pretending that I didn't."

"Why five years though? Why didn't you tell someone?" He gives me one of those looks people give you when they're baffled you don't understand. I feel like that look sums up my day.

"That was my home, dude. My whole life. That's where I grew up, where I had parents who loved me. If I told, I would have to leave. Anyway, who would believe a kid?"

"You could have told me…" I whisper, understanding now why Gar had changed. Understanding as well as I am able.

"I kept waiting for someone to notice. For someone like Batman to save me." I laughed hollowly.

"He would've," I assure him.

"How do you know? No one even tried to help me."

"No one ever knew that you needed help, Gar. And I know Batman would have helped you because I know his secret identity." He gives me a skeptical look. I know how that sounds, saying I know who Batman is. Obviously, I do know who Batman is but why should Gar believe me?

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Bruce Wayne."


	16. Flirting with Torment

Chapter 16- Gar

At first, I chuckle a little, not believing him. But Richard, er, Robin… He might have been a jerk to me for a while, and maybe one day I'll ask him about that, but, well… I think that I didn't lose a friend after all. He wouldn't lie about his dad being Batman.

"Really?" I ask tentatively.

"Yeah." I sit back and think for a little while.

"How long have you known?"

"Since the beginning."

"That's a lot to live up to."

"You're telling me. Let's get some sleep." We stand up and stare at the only other available bed,

glancing at each other.

"Uh…" Robin starts, and I just roll my eyes and turn into a basset hound, leaping into the motel sheets.

"I always wanted a dog…" Robin joked, but I'm already falling asleep.

"You know what? We're just gonna all get new names now. If she's Star and he's Robin then I'm flipping Cyborg and… Well, Gar is dead. So you're just going to have to dive straight into a new identity. I'm thinking Beast Boy." Victor has always been into comic books. Before the explosion, a new identity would have seemed silly to me. Impractical. No… Impractical isn't the right word. Just… Unattainable. Changing identities seemed like something that could apply to others but never to me. I always felt stuck where I was and until now I figured it would be that way forever. Now, it's a little unconventional, but I suppose I am Beast Boy. Maybe I'm Beast Boy and Gar, or maybe I'm neither. We might work on that. But I kind of like it. He turns to Rachel with a doting smile, concocting some genius name for her.

"No. I'm not playing pretend with you." She said, shutting him down decisively. But he wasn't one to give up.

"Raven."

"Do I look like a bird to you?"

"No, But you can fly, and you have a darker mood about you, and it's poetic. It fits you."

"Are you saying I'm creepy?"

"No! Ravens aren't creepy they're elegant. What do you say?" He's pleading with her.

"Nevermore." She says, staring at him.

"What?" Cyborg appears confused.

"That's Edgar Allan Poe for forget about it." Cyborg seems dejected. Maybe the name will grow on her but I have to interject.

"Ravens are beautiful." Suddenly all eyes are on me. I'm mortified. I should never have confessed. I'm not flirting with Rachel, I'm flirting with torment. Every time I express my feelings, I'm all the more hated.

"I'll think about it." She speaks not to me but to Cyborg, of course. Then she leaves the room, heading to breakfast, I think.

The rest join her in a minute in the continental breakfast area, but I can't be seen with green skin, so I wait in the room for Robin to bring me food. We'll keep running until we're gone or dead. When the world forgets about us, then we can stop. But with Batman especially invested in this case, we may never stop. I told Robin to tell the others, but until it's absolutely necessary he doesn't want to. And it's his secret to tell. I have some time to myself and I don't know what to do with it. So I really just sulk. I told Robin last night that girls were weird but ultimately I'm the weird one. Not just because of how I look, I've already gotten used to that, but because I'm just so awkward. I guess I've always been awkward but I managed to suppress it for a while when I was the guy trying to appear normal and make other people happy. The guy I really am is the one who is still grasping how much my friends care about me and who fumbles over words around my crush. But I think I'd rather be awkward and real than normal and fake. I'm never going back to fake.

Apparently, there weren't many vegetarian options at the breakfast buffet, but I'm glad for what I get. Essentially just fruit. It's everyone is ready we hit the road once more and I'm back to riding hoodie pocket front and center. It's actually a little nauseatingly awkward. I don't feel comfortable moving, I want her to forget that I'm here, I don't want to be more of an annoyance than I already am. It's so weird how you can be so close to someone physically and so far away from them emotionally. Kori sits next to Rachel on the bus and I think they talk, but it's muffled and I'm already falling asleep. Retaining different forms takes a lot of energy, if I had my choice, I wouldn't shapeshift as much. But I have no choice, so I just make use of the extra sleep.

My dreams are hectic and random. We've only been gone one full day. It feels like we've been running forever, but in my dreams, it also feels like the explosion is still happening. A disorganized origin story. Like the heroes in comics called for some glorious purpose but what is mine? Rachel accused me of just wanting to disappear and she's not wrong. It would be so easy to slip away in another form and abandon ship but I can't. I'm connected to these people now. The same explosive ruins run through our veins. There is no acceptance from other people. No new identities to claim anywhere else. Anywhere else I'd be caged or dissected. Or both. Grim fantasies, dreams not far from reality. What good am I? What is my purpose and how could we be any kind of team? These questions insert themselves in my dreams. I'm not a superhero, I'm not even the right color to be a vigilante. Disappearing is my only option.


	17. Panic is pointless

**This interlude somewhat references a plan that Robin hasn't put in place yet but will soon. We are essentially entering part three of the story where the group somewhat splits up and pursues separate storylines and introduces new characters. If you have any comments, positive or negative, or think that things have taken an OOC twist, as I fear I might have done writing concerned dad Batman, well... Please let me know.**

* * *

Interlude- Bruce Wayne

Panic is for other people. Heroes shouldn't panic. Successful businessmen shouldn't panic. People like me shouldn't panic. I'm panicking. The explosion at Stone Industries was bad enough. It was like the hand that turned over the log to reveal all the creepy crawlies on the underbelly. I thought Stone was my partner in business, I thought he had a cause worth researching. That kind of thinking ended with a bang. Stone was executing some shady things with shadier people, attempting to restore life to the lifeless in questionable ways with volatile materials. It was eye opening and now he and his associates are in prison and heavy investigations are beginning. I, well, Batman, would be at the frontline of such an investigation. Were it not for my son.

Of course, Richard is not the only missing child. His childhood friend Gar Logan, as well as a girl named Kori Starr, vanished about one or two days before the explosion. Stone's son also disappeared. But I hardly cared. Not that I wanted them out in the world suffering, but Richard was the highest priority to me.

It made me uneasy that my son would just leave with no warning and let all trails and tracking go cold. I know that Richard of all people can handle himself out in the world but that doesn't mean I'm not frantic. That's my son out there doing who knows what who knows where. It's been two days with no contact and I'm going out of my mind with worry and regret. Every second not consumed with finding him is spent feeling like I was the one who drove him away. If that's true and I did then I will never forgive myself for losing my family again. My only son. I thought he was happy but if there were warning signs that I should have seen... then all of this falls on me. For years I blamed myself for the death of my parents. I cannot lose my son as well.

I've left messages on his phone. Desperate voicemails. Do teenagers even check voicemail? He removed any chance of tracking him from his phone. Victor did that, I bet. Stone bragged hard on his son, the boy is tech savvy. That's my theory. Because he just bought two tickets, today, the day after the first day he was gone for the whole time. And Victor disappeared on the same day, they witnessed the same traumatic event, it would make sense for them to flee. That's how I rationalize things. Also, it's the only thread I have. Two tickets, to another state. I have to follow him and whomever he's with.

But it's Richard. My son. My son who I taught to be tough and strong, resilient and intelligent and good. He's not the kind of person who just leaves threads around for anyone to follow. It's clear he wanted to shake me from the start so why pick up the trail again so deliberately? I know as well as any third grader reading Encyclopedia Brown what a red herring is but it could be my only chance to find him and I can't give that up. I keep leaving messages and sending texts. I am starting to get furious. How dare he make me worry and hurt. I'm conflicted, though, because he must be hurting too. His mind… His less developed teenage mind was certainly distressed to no end. He's too smart to just act on impulse, and yet, he is acting on impulse. He's just sixteen years old. I will go to the ends of the earth to find him. And the rest of the earth is put on pause until I do.

Adoption isn't easy. Any parent who has been through it knows that. The process had so much red tape, and that was hardly the end of it. Getting Richard to feel comfortable and loved wasn't easy either. A lot went into making my family and now I feel like I'm chasing shadows trying to get it back. My heart is breaking more the longer I search. Because I tried to move heaven and earth to have a happy family, and he ran from it all. I had to have done something wrong. I didn't listen to him enough or I forced him into some unhappy path. Perhaps the perceived pressure got to him or perhaps he could just never see me as his real family. Maybe he was lonely and hurting and I didn't know and he had to flee. I leave more messages on his phone. Finally, I get one back.

"I'm safe. Don't look for me." But he had to know that won't stop me. Hell itself wouldn't stop me.

"Come home." I text back, biting back tears because I don't cry. But then… I don't panic either.

"Soon." He replies. But that doesn't dissuade me from searching. I want to tell him that he is so grounded until he graduated at a minimum, and he will be, but I just want to find him and hug him close to me before I punish him forever.

"Who are you with?" But by now he's done responding. I'm infuriated and my nerves are wracked. This boy will be the death of me. But it will be worth it. The tears begin to fall as the hopelessness of the situation begins to set in. Which is odd… Because I never cry.


	18. Losing

Chapter 17- Kori

I think I was mean to Robin yesterday and it made him sad. So this morning I walk next to him towards breakfast and squeeze hands. He makes his face startled.

"I am sorry to make you sad yesterday." I tell him, walking closer and closer to the food.

"No, it's okay I said some pretty dumb things."

"Yes. But we can move from the past."

"Yeah." Our hands touch still. He is afraid to take his hand away. I do not understand the fear, maybe it is the fear of losing something you love. I remember now how Robin was good and looked at my eyes instead of my… I think that the English language has the words lung protectors. Bosom works as well. I have nice lung protectors but it would be rude of him to stare. Perhaps he really likes me.

Eventually we no longer touch hands. Robin has a plan. He explains to us at breakfast that we will stay as a group one day longer then do the splitting up. Raven and Beast Boy- who rightly thinks she is beautiful though she does not realize it- and also Cyborg will go back to where we ran away from. I don't think it makes sense because that does not seem to be the point of running but I do not object. He turns to me.

"You and I will get two tickets to lead the people searching for us further away and then we'll go on to Tamaran." I thus pay close attention to the plan because it concerns my coming home. I will once more see my sister. I do not object to this plan. As I pay closely attentive I hear that Robin does not tell Beast Boy. He will not want to go back. That is why Robin lies to him I think. So that Beast Boy will not know and Robin and I can go to my home.

I get to talk to Raven on the bus which is good. I want her to be my friend and maybe a sister. I have one sister but Raven does not have any and she seems very sad because of it. Or maybe she is sad for other reasons. People have a lot of reasons to be sad in this place. I suppose in Tamaran as well but I never was until my mother and my father were assassinated in front of me. That was not a happy day and every day since had been less happy.

"I liked the Mockingbird."

"What? Oh. To Kill A Mockingbird."

"Yes. It was a good book. Do you know other books I should read?" Raven is quiet for a while. Thinking I think.

"Frankenstein."

"What is that book?"

"It's about a guy who creates a monster but doesn't take responsibility for it and it turns bad but he's really just misunderstood."

"Do you read happy books?"

"Yes." She stopped.

"Well. Not really. I used to." Raven does not talk for minutes. I mimic.

"Why did you run?" I ask her after minutes.

"It just happened. No one even knows I'm gone. I won't be missed."

"Why?"

"I don't have a family back there. No one cares about Rachel Roth and it's better that way. I'm only going back to get answers about my father."

"What did he do?"

"He's a terrible person, a murderer-" She shudders violently as I had never seen her do so before. I know the shudder. I have shuddered the shudder that the word murder entails.

"My parents were murdered as well." She looks down, hiding in her hood. I feel that it is hard to talk about loss and harder when the losing happened in front of you. It happened in front of Raven. The losing hurt lingers in her eyes before falling. She wipes away wetness and looks out the window. Raven and I do not talk for awhile.

I am eager to be back in Tamaran. My home. I will show Robin every cranny and nook and communicate with my brethren. I will purge my poor home of the infestors that crawled in and attacked my sister and my home. I will hug my sister for a very long time. Minutes. She will be glad to see me and I will be home. I will return with Robin to here and say goodbye to my family here and go back to my Tamaran family. I look forward to being home. Maybe if my country is safe my new family will come and join my old family. I will have another sister and she will be happy and know that people care about her. I know that Beast Boy and Cyborg care about her a big amount and I also care about her. Robin may not. Robin is a strange person and his head is hard to decipher. I want them all to be happy and safe and cared for. We will be on this bus for a long time. So I close my eyes and my head ends up in contact with Raven's shoulder. She does not seem like the person who would be okay with that but I do not feel her pull away as I fall to sleep.

Tamaran is my only dream subject but this is not a dream. It is bad. Dark. Like the things of my nights after mother and father were no more. I have not had dreams as cruel for such a long time. I am home wandering my sweet country, the place I intended to make home once more with the strength I had gained. But my strength became weakness and I fell to nothing as my kingdom crashed around me too. I cried for justice and my tongue was slashed from my mouth. I cried no longer. Simply watched for the purveyor of destruction. I looked up into the eyes of my sister.

The bus pulled to a stop.


	19. Anti-hero

**Not always a hero.**

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Chapter 18- Victor

I am beginning to familiarize myself with the robot eye. It is what I believe earned me the name Cyborg but that's who I've always been. I couldn't have been the only person running around their mansion in a bath towel cape pretending to be a hero. During the treatments and the condolences, it was what kept me feeling strong. I had to have consumed a billion different comics as I got used to my father's improvements. Rebuilt and reboot and destined for greatness, or at least to read about greatness. When I was seven the word cyborg entered my vocabulary. Others called me Robot and I laughed it off but in my head I was Cyborg. Ten years from the time I decided to be Cyborg I was able to get people to call me that. It's great.

We split ways, Robin and Star taking off, leaving Beast Boy, Rachel, and I. Ray doesn't want a hero name and I can't blame her. She didn't sign up for incredibly impressive superpowers. She didn't sign up for running away. A new identity is something she has a choice over. Actually… I'm a little scared. We're going back to find answers, about the explosion and her dad, but what if she doesn't want to leave again? She has no reason to run away with us, what if she chooses rather to fade back into obscurity and comfort? What if I lose my best friend? After the explosion, I can safely say she's more than my best friend, she is my last remaining family. Unless my father can rectify the catastrophe and explain his reasons he is no father of mine. I desperately want to redeem him, of course, for years I admired him. So I crave those answers, want to make him into anything other than the villain, be it tragic hero or anti-hero… Anything other than scum. We check into a motel an hour away from the city. Beast Boy is shaken out of Rachel's pocket where he'd mostly been in a comfortable stupor. We get the motel room for a couple reasons. 1. It is a good place for all of us to meet up with answers,

2\. It will be a good place for Beast Boy to lay low for a couple of hours while we go answer hunting because I have a metal eye yet he is far more conspicuous,

And 3. Beast Boy is going to flip out when he sees we're nearly back to square one and I wanted to give him an hour's distance from his home to make him feel safer.

I was right, by the way, about Beast Boy flipping out. I would too if I were kept out of the loop but Robin seemed so sure of everything that I guess no one questioned his leadership. Honestly though he probably just wanted alone time with Star. For a few minutes Beast Boy paces and fumes in silence, steam practically coming out of his ears like a cartoon.

"Why are we here?!" He finally manages to ask. He looks distraught and afraid. He's more willing to show that side of him after the explosion. I think I mostly knew a facade, the old him was constantly bluffing, putting up an appearance to hide hurt, and he's simply not hiding anymore. I like this version better, the other one blown to smithereens. But I worry more about this version, powerful yet volatile, fragile. Like a little brother except also a T-rex.

"Weird stuff turned you green, gave Rachel really awesome shadow powers and Star- I don't know what Star does. Weird stuff lead my dad to work with her cultist father and have him cut out my eye. We want answers. But Rachel and I are ready and willing to get them on our own and you're not exactly inconspicuous so you don't even have to enter the city."

"Why wasn't I told?"

"That was Robin's decision. I'm sorry." He's still not happy but sulks instead of argues. We pass the night due to its lateness, and Rachel and I leave Gar with a bagel and cream cheese for breakfast and the whole world ahead of us.

Comfortable silence commences. Ray and I are used to being silent together, sitting and reading in silence for extended periods of time. But we're also comfortable bickering over who's the best Avenger and Pride & Prejudice versus Pride & Prejudice & Zombies. She's all for the classics and I'm all for zombies. But as for Avengers, I think we finally agreed on the superiority of the Incredible Hulk. But Rachel also probably has a crush on Bruce Banner. I would die if I said that out loud though.

"Hey," she interrupts our silence as we near the city.

"Yeah?"

"Does Gar have a crush on me?" I hesitate, wondering whether or not I should be honest with her.

"Yeah."

"How long have you known?"

"Since we were on the football team together." Rachel smacks me.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What would you have done about it had you known?" She grumbles under her breath for a few minutes, completely and utterly bested.

Then, abruptly, "I'm going home." My heart stops.

"What? Why?"

"To get supplies. I think that should be our first move."

"Oh. I guess I'll do the same." She and I part ways, making me begin to question Robin's leadership. I feel isolated and alone and after all we've been through… Why aren't we sticking together? How are we supposed to protect each other if we're apart?

I make my way home feeling more and more dejected. I wouldn't be going were it not for the upgrade parts I could get… And maybe a comic book or two. And some clothes, I guess. But it's not home anymore. If my father could be redeemed and if I could ensure my friends would be totally safe somewhere, then and only then would I be able to call this place home again. So it seems like the only option is to get what I want and leave. I try to slip past the gate unnoticed, I have the security cameras hacked for my benefit, have since the first time I wanted to break curfew to go to the midnight showing of The Force Awakens. That was a good movie… So I get past the gate easily. I just don't expect the policeman waiting by the front steps.

"Victor, I don't intend to hurt you. You need to tell us where Richard Wayne is."

"He left the country."

"Why didn't you?"

"He and I aren't friends, why would we run away together? I just wanted to go home." I'm nervous. I don't want to mess up, but I can get away. I'm sure I can.

"I'm sorry, Victor, you can't be here. Your father is in prison." My jaw drops. I'm stunned. I knew he did bad things, terrible things, I just didn't think it was going to go public and have consequences. My father always seemed someone who wasn't affected by consequences. He was always so confident, I doubt he still is.

"Where am I going to go?"

"Into a foster home until you're 18, then you can claim this property and do with it as you will." I shudder, my plans falling apart around me. I have to get out of here and rendezvous with Rachel. I'm never coming back.

"Can I get a few things from my room?"

"Go ahead. Take your time." I enter the abandoned house, with its eerie feelings, shadows cast on where life-my life-used to be. I have a few pit stops, comics are less important now, and my father no longer seems redeemable. I need clothes, spare parts, and one other thing. The first two items aren't hard to find and fit easily in my backpack. The third is smaller and hidden, my father didn't want me to take it from him, it had always meant so much to him. But it meant the same to me. It was his wife, yes, that wore this ring until she died, but she was my mother too. I slip it over a finger on the hand without weaponry, heading outside and raising the other towards the officer. I count in my head. One, two, three, four, five. Closing my eyes, and firing.


	20. What ifs

**I LOVED writing this chapter but I essentially made everything up, so just suspend disbelief for a few, m'kay?**

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Chapter 19- Rachel

What would I have done? Why did he have to ask me that? He's always asking me those what-if questions, I always smack him or scold him that there's no time travel and therefore no reason to what if. Which leads to a debate on whether the past should be changed if it could be changed. Because who wouldn't want to punch Hitler in the face? But all the what-ifs get to me anyway, and I lose sleep over them. I'm not going to lose sleep over him. I just won't. What would I have done? Nothing. The personal inclinations of a boy I hardly know mean next to nothing to me. Except no one's ever had a crush on me before. No one's ever seen me before.

I have always walked these streets invisible, it's no different today. I don't think anyone even noticed that I was gone, save for the school librarian perhaps, as she is the only adult I see regularly. It's better that way, I won't show up as a missing child until September. It's March now. No one in this city cares about me who won't be leaving with me. I had someone, once, but I no longer do. I have books now, and so I don't like to think about her. I don't think about her. I keep walking, invisible. Safe. At least, I think I am. But it's hard to tell. I shoulder my backpack and press on.

"You're back." I turn, slowly, and face my guardian, Jack.

"I never left."

"Cut the bullcrap Rachel, I'm not an idiot. I noticed."

"Then why didn't you report it?"

"Because I don't really care. You can take care of yourself. Are you with Victor?"

"Yeah."

"And the others who ran away?" I hesitate, then nod.

"Why did you come back?"

"To get answers."

"About your father or your chakra?"

"What?" He sighed and held up a finger to signal me to wait, walking off. I ignored him and headed to my room to pack up some more clothes.

"A chakra is a center of spiritual power. The concept as it relates to you is adapted from an Indian belief, your specific chakra is the third eye of awareness. As it relates to you, well, if your hoodies are more interesting so be it. But I did think you stood to gain answers." I set down my bag and turned to my guardian, as he lifted up long bangs and revealed his own "third eye".

"I'm listening."

"Now I'm not saying that your father isn't a cult leader but if there wasn't truth in what he said then he and his bloodline made it true through sacrifice and anguish. You come from a line of people who accepted few and sought a higher purpose. A glorious, gory purpose. A way to harness the power of the world, a power they so desperately believed in, that they believed the rest of the world was blind to and they were granted knowledge of. From gods or demons, the mythos is blurred. I, and your mother got very deep into it, searching for more. Your father in a way abducted us into his way of thinking. Your mother could channel the power very well once her chakra was enabled. I suppose I should take a moment to explain that the chakra was planted in both of us, and in you, you at birth and us much later in life. The radiation you went through, well, it was meant for you. Stone intended it for a sort of Frankenstein device to bring his wife back to life but your father designed it for you and would have found a way for you to go through the awakening. That's what the machine does, it takes what is or is supposed to be in you and wakes up its true potential." Jack had paused several times to breathe yet this pause lingered as if he knew I would need to process.

"How do you know?" I admit my voice was somewhat shaky.

"I am connected to you, to him, to every member of this godforsaken cult. It is my awareness. Allow me to continue."

"Please."

"Your mother never loved him, I don't think. Because at first she loved me, but that is nothing I haven't moved on from. She was in love with the power he gave her which sounds incredibly shallow of her but you have used your powers, and I am sure when you did you felt things you never had before, and now you are different, well your mother loved that part and she kept a journal of what she learned and how she mastered it. I can give it to you now that you're awake. And everything was good, and they had you, until her eyes were open, and she saw how much sacrifice went into keeping things good, how many people needlessly suffered because of your father, not because of the power but because of the one who handled it, like the force, if you will, and so she broke away and hit your father with the death blow. She rendered him unable to use the power. So he killed her, but you saw that part. Ever since he has been trying to activate your powers so that you could be used as his weapon of despair. That is all that has been revealed to me. Let me get your mother's journal then you and the others must run." We'd gotten good at running, and that part did not bother me. Yet I was dizzy with memories of my kind, sweet, good mother, and the tsunami of information that crashed over me. I was stunned and horrified by such a revelation and I no longer wanted to exist as I was. I have always been invisible but I no longer wanted to run, no longer wanted to disappear. I wanted to look Hitler square in the face and sucker punch him, so to speak. I took the book.


	21. Language barrier

**Again please, suspension of disbelief. This is clearly not supposed to be canonically the teen titans. Also, it'll be a few chapters until it's addressed and I just wanted to say that Victor did not kill the officer.**

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Chapter 20- Richard

How does one get to Tamaran? Well, if one can afford it, one charters a boat. If one is trying to cut cost, then they hang on to the back of a beautiful girl as she flies to a remote yet beautiful island. Or at least, the way she looks around, it used to be beautiful. There's an emptiness to it now. A deadness. Like it used to be full of life but an unholy revolution left the air polluted with fear. I glance at Star to see if she's tired from flight, and see tears stream down her face. After all, this is her home. If I returned home to such a tense and fearful environment I might cry as well. Without thinking, I pull her into a hug.

"We have to continue on. I have a duty to my people." She finally says. She speaks with determination, eyes wiped dry.

"I have to tell you now, I am the princess of Tamaran. Heir to the throne after my sister." Stunned silence.

I think I manage to say whoa. I bow.

"Do not kneel."

"Sorry."

"I am Star still. Not different just because I am princess." She grabs my hand and pulls me into the kingdom.

Really, it was just destitute. Few roamed the streets. Those who saw her met her with expressions of a mix of fear and hope, glad to see her but scared of the consequences. She hugged many, talked to all… I say talked. But it wasn't really talking. I watched them exchange no words or gestures, just concentrated gazes, and then she'd turn to me and tell me something she had learned. I feel beyond stupid as I struggled to keep up- like subtitles should be floating in the air making everything clear but I just couldn't see them. When we have a moment free, away from the others, I ask her about it.

"Hey," I have to get her attention, the city distracts her.

"Yes?"

"Are you talking with them?" I feel dumb, useless, out of my element. Her eyes widen.

"Ah, yes, you are common." I blink in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"In Tamaran we have a spoken language, of course, it is the common language, you learn it as a young child. Just as when you were a child you learned certain things first and complex later. Mind speaking, as it would be called in your language, is taught later. We still teach the first for if the second fails or one is incapable of it, but for privacy, ease, and intimacy we choose mind speak."

"B-but how?"

"If you are able, I will teach you. But my Tamaran is unique. I can never begin to explain." I nod, baffled still.

"If you would prefer, I will ask my people to speak aloud." I nod again.

It didn't help. The words are foreign to me. Hearing them is just as bad as not hearing them. As a royal she is taught other languages but many know only Tamaranean and so ultimately I am isolated on this island. She speaks to others and I, like a bumbling idiot, talk to myself. I wanted so badly to impress her and make her happy. To be a hero as my father was first. I hate not knowing what's going on or what to do. I feel purposeless. I guess in the long run I always have been. I am connected to this explosion by force. I forced my way into this group on my own, made myself leader on my own while everyone else was too in shock to argue. I'm not the hero, the knight in shining armor. I'm a loser in tinfoil. If I was at home this is when I would stomp into the workout room and beat up the punching bag. In my pockets I clench and unclench my fists, trying to get over myself. I just want to hear a voice again, one talking to me, in my language.

"Robin, we've reached the palace." I had been holding onto her hand, letting her lead in the kingdom she knew so well. My head was down, and I was quiet. Now I looked up. The palace took my breath away. Even amidst all the ruin it remained stunning and regal, like Star. I have to stand and stare for a few moments just to be able to comprehend the whole thing. I glance over at Star, who is smiling sadly and continuing forward. I'm still locked in place. She ends up dragging me.

"Yes. It's beautiful. That's why it was stolen from us."

"I'm sorry your kingdom was captured," I say in earnest, glancing around.

"Yes. I will take it back." We move into the building, just as lovely on the inside yet still full of thick, hateful tension. We shudder simultaneously. Suddenly I hear a shrill cry.

Star drops my hand and runs towards a taller, older woman, no doubt her sister who is likely only in her early to mid-20s. She looks like Star except her hair is pitch black and I feel a little uneasy looking at her. They exchange a short conversation in Tamaranean that I, of course, am ignorant to. Star cries and hugs her older sister until Kay pulls back. Then the Queen turns to me, a chill running down my spine.

"I have much to speak to you of, Star. Your escort may remain in the hall. Come, sister." She speaks in English for my benefit. Before I can protest they vanish from view into another room. The hall feels unfriendly, as if one wrong move will get me beheaded or otherwise dismembered. It's swamped by guards and I cannot tell from their glowering which side of the revolution they support. As an outsider of either side, it does not bode well for me.

As if sent from the heavens, a distraction from the isolation comes. My phone rings. It isn't a number I recognize, but I'm willing to take the risk. It could be any member of the team I declared myself the leader of, or it could be my father. If it is the latter I will simply hang up, no harm, no foul. I might say hi. I do miss him. But I'm in too deep, I pretended to be some kind of hero and now I have to follow through. I can't go home. I answer the phone.


	22. 20 bucks

**This chapter is not, in my opinion, as spectacular as the next, but it still introduces a new recurring character and begins with a conversation I'd been waiting a while to write. It's a bit of a grab bag of a hormonal teen's rage in different moments. Cut me some** **slack : D**

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Chapter 21- Gar

"You coward." I snarl. Yes, I think I am actually snarling.

"Excuse me?" Robin wrote down his number and gave it to Cyborg. Cyborg gave it to me.

"You couldn't have told me to my face what you were willing to subject me to just so that you could be closer to Star? I told you why I ran, why I would never go back. And stupidly, I thought you actually cared. But you clearly don't." Silence. Did he disconnect? I was angry, but I was also terrified. I would have run my entire life to get away from the hurt and the pain but for his own convenience, Robin put me right back at square one. Trapped. I feel like the walls are closing in on me, I'm thinking irrationally. I pace while I wait for his reply.

"I was wrong." He confesses after minutes.

"Why, Robin?" I really did think we could be friends again. Just like old times and all that.

"You're right. I wanted alone time with Star and I didn't take into consideration your feelings."

"I think I need more than that. You put me in danger."

"It's all in your head right now Gar-" I snapped.

"Really, all my football injuries, or as you called them, suicide attempts, all of that's in my head? He hurt me!" I'm yelling. Robin winces.

"That was the wrong word choice. All I mean is that you are more powerful now and you can defend yourself," I hear his pause.

"You could even fight back." I'm not feeling forgiving just yet, but he has a point. I could turn my outrage into vengeance. I hang up the phone and shift into a tiny beetle. A few minutes later, I'm soaring through the sky.

I pause mid-flight when I realize I'd caught up with Rachel and Cyborg. I become a gnat and hover near them. They're talking, and I hear my name. My old one. I don't love Beast Boy, I've been personally thinking Changeling. But either is better than Gar right now. When I'm here, Gar is dead. They're talking about me, and Cyborg does what I would consider unthinkable. He betrays my secret. He tells Rachel that I had a crush on her. More anger fuels me but I have a more glorious purpose than, say, changing into a bird and pooping on him. Maybe later. I have vengeance to chase. Anger blinds me. I momentarily envision crushing my Uncle's throat in between my talons and leaving him dying on the carpet. Yet that doesn't appeal to me. If we fight… I don't want to kill him. Just make him suffer.

He's not even home. I feel kind of dumb, thinking about all of the ways I'd hurt him. It was out of character for me to get so obsessive over causing pain, and I hate that I did. But I'm here, so I ought to do something. When I ran away the first time I took next to nothing and donated my phone to Cyborg's new eye. Now I could take anything. I'd have to walk back to the motel room like a normal human, but I probably have a hoodie that should keep me hidden for long enough. If I get caught I'll just transform and leave my loot behind. The pillaging began. Of what was his I took what I could, destroyed what I didn't need. I took what was mine. Momentos from a happier life and things I deem necessary. I don't take garbage, just bits of the ruins. Things that were my father's and mother's. And money. Beaucoup of money. He stole from me for five years? I'll steal right back. I do some rhino maneuvers all over his king-sized bed. It's like therapy. Then I bear my load, tug on a large hoodie to hide my face and skin, and head out.

I immediately misjudge the ease of blending in. As a bug or a bird it would have been much easier but I didn't have any regrets until the girl.

"Can't go anywhere with a face like that." I startled immediately, but didn't turn, didn't look. Ignored.

"Gar Logan, right? I won't tell." She annoys and terrifies me. I get the claustrophobic feeling of walls closing in again. If I am caught by my Uncle then it's over. I will die. I would rather die.

"Don't worry Broccoli Boy, I'm a freak now too." Finally, I look at her. She is not by nature a freak. She has long blond hair and a Kim Possible type crop top. She looks normal. I snort.

"Don't believe me, huh? Okay Gar, here are the facts. When you disappeared, you were Caucasian. Now you're Martian. I'll bet you five dollars that your Martian skin appeared last Wednesday." I stop dead.

"How?"

"Because since Wednesday, I could do this." I turn to face her, curious. The earth dislodges itself and floats midair. My mouth drops open for a moment, then closes. I have seen much stranger. It only makes me realize that the effects of the explosion reached more than just my friends and I. I wonder if it affected others.

"I'm Terra."

"Beast Boy."

"Not Gar?"

"Gar is dead." It was getting easier and easier for Gar to be dead. He isn't really, but until I was out of this godforsaken city, he had to be. But I wasn't angry anymore.

"Are you going to keep running, Broccoli Boy?"

"Beast Boy. And yeah. I have to." It's getting late, and my stomach grumbles. I glance at her.

"If I give you twenty dollars will you bring me back something vegetarian from somewhere?" She nods and I dispose of the money, it's really a drop in a bucket from what I took from my Uncle. That he took from me to begin with. I imagine my Uncle finding his home trashed and robbed and a smile plays on the face I am hiding as I wait for my food. After half an hour, I realize that the self-proclaimed freakshow robbed me. If I see her again, I will return her turn of mischief. Maybe I'll rob her back. I guess I'm not completely out of vengeance.


	23. Origin Story

**I am not phenomenal at writing action scenes but I can promise you the birth of a hero on this page. This may be my best portrayal of Koriand'r.**

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Chapter 22- Kori

Seeing my kingdom was a glorious tragedy. I hated to see it as such, but I love it all the same. Seeing my sister was only joy. I was so happy to be in the same room as my family. I had missed her every second on the clock. I speak in rapid Tamaranean about all that happened to me in North America. I wanted to learn about South America also while I was there but North America doesn't talk about South America. A civil war perhaps? I don't dare say this to my dear sister Kay for fear of ignorance. I believe my sister could change the entire world if she intended to. I admire her. She holds up a finger and I stop my blabbers.

"My dear sweet sister… I have good news and bad. The revolution is complete. Tamaran is ours once more." I'd told her of the explosion. How I could take back our home. That was when she made me quiet.

"No it's not-" I object.

"How do you mean Star?"

"The people are still unhappy and many are gone." I pointed out, anxious.

"Yes," my sister sighed.

"But I have reasoned with the usurpers. I am sorry Star. I am so sorry."

"No… No more sorrow…" My heart attacks in fast terror. I am frightened and my height shrinks. I dread her sorries.

"I made a terrible deal, sister."

"What?"

"No… I can't." My elegant sister turns away and something feels off. My sister is different, perhaps. I move into her sight and she pulls me close and then shoves me away.

"In order to regain control of the kingdom I had to promise your hand in marriage to the Prince of the rebellion. The man who came to be King here. But he had land elsewhere and you are to marry him and return with him. I am sorry, it is the way. You are the prettier of us, Koriand'r. The more attractive. And I am already Queen and cannot abandon our people." The duty presses on my heart. But I think I will do it.

"May I meet my husband?" I asked in quiet. She gave me a curt nod. A door opened. A man came out. He was not my age, he was her age. I further did not understand why I had to marry, why I had to leave, leave once more after being driven from my kingdom once. His name is Orion. He is not handsome. Not in the slightest. I am uncomfortable to breathe the same air as this man. He shakes my hand. I shake my head.

"No, Kay, there is another way?" Please, another way.

"No Koriand'r. This is your burden to bear for the kingdom." I shout, green fire lighting up my hands.

"I can fight!" I am protesting. She shakes her head and looks angry.

"I had hoped you wouldn't, sister. I am not looking forward to vanquishing you." She ignites her own hands, startling myself. I am blasted back by a wave of power. I did not mean to fight my sister. My sister and my home. My heart is screaming and I do not react. Two guards grab each arm. I do not know what to do.

"What are you doing to our kingdom?"

"My kingdom Koriand'r. Mine to control without you in my way. You would oppose the army I am building and the lands I will conquer. I couldn't have my greedy, ungrateful sister meddling with Tamaran's progress." She hits me again and I start tearing up. Then I am taken away from her unnice laugh and Robin is dragged next to me. I shudder. He looks at me, and I cry.

I never visited the dungeon when I was princess. I did not know it was so dark, so cold, so full. Many people I know, all know me. I sit on the floor and cry. Robin must know I like hugs for he hugs me. I remember meeting Gar and hugging him and him saying he needed it. I need this. I hug back. This is home.

Robin coaxes the story out of me. I tell of Komand'r, for that is her real name and she is no longer my sister Kay. I calm down but am still angry. I have never so much wanted to punch someone. I cannot see well out of one eye. He says it is black. It was green before she hit me. I am mad that she changed my eye. She had no right. I want to hit back. This dungeon is cold, so I must leave and save my Tamaran. For dictator Komand'r does not deserve it. I get pieces of the story from others. Hear of my sister's wrongs and how the people tried to fight back. They tell of my sister's powers, how strong she is, how terrifying. I show them my own and make my mind up. I will challenge my sister for the throne. I will lead an army to do so. People loyal to Tamaran but not to Komand'r. I make a plan and tell the people. Robin is on my side. I created energy fire from my hands and blast away the dungeon doors. We come out striking. Robin takes out two guards, the people and I storm the throne room. We will not fall in defeat. We will win forever.

She does not seem happy to see me as she seemed earlier. She snarls.

"Koriand'r! I will kill you!"

"My name is Starfire." I snarl back. I have never snarled before. I don't like the sensation, but it was necessary. I must show her I am serious. I will vanquish. I wish that several did not lose lives as we attack. I wish that dear sweet Robin did not get hurt. But the struggle persists beyond the fallen. My sister and I fight as though playing tugging war. Back and forth we tug my Tamaran, and I am very angry. I pull together all the power inside me and deliver a final breath. I will either kill or die. Smoke clears and I gaze on the face of what was my sister. She breathes her last. I am very sad. She was my sister. The death was necessary. I turn to my subjects and make a declaration for all.

"I believed for the longest time my sister could change the entire world. I still believe she could have. But she used that power for cruelty. In her place I put up a panel of advisors, Tamaraneans that can be trusted. I will leave Tamaran to return when it is the best. Until then I will go to the world and change it if I am able. I will miss you." I will miss my sister too. She had a bad ambition, however. She had to be stricken down. I pick up Robin, his head bleeding lightly, and wrap his wounds in bandages. Then I fly away. I will bring good change to the world. I am Starfire.


	24. Truth

**Guys, I work hard on all of these chapters but if I were a reader looking to save time I might skip parts of this one because well... It's just Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven playing truth or dare at the end of this one. Read the last question of the chapter though…**

Immediately I panic. How can I call myself any type of hero if I killed a guy? Fortunately, on closer inspection I find I only shot his arm and knocked him back, with him falling and losing consciousness. I flee the crime scene and call 911 when I'm further away. Then I meet up with Rachel as we had planned, and, on our way run into Beast Boy. Apparently, he paid his uncle a visit, which surprises me. Based on the look in his eyes and the way he was raging early, it's good news that he didn't actually meet up with his uncle. Gar tells us about meeting Terra, then Rachel gives her own rundown of what happened to her today. There is so much weird and so many unanswered questions. We need to stick around and search for answers. Because the officer will probably remember me and Beast Boy has already risked enough going out in public, Rachel is tasked with doing the hard-hitting investigation. I wish it didn't fall on her, but it does.

We reach the hotel exhausted and ravenous. Beast Boy distributes what he collected from his house and goes ahead of us, perfectly unseen as a cockroach. Rachel and I follow.

"Hey… Victor… Er, Cyborg, I think I want to go by Raven." I gape at her.

"Really?"

"Yeah." She seems shy. I wonder if she's thinking about Beast Boy having a crush on her. I guess I'd act similarly if anyone ever had a crush on me, but that seems unlikely at this point and honestly, single life forever. I don't really think Raven is the type to have a relationship though. I kind of feel bad for Beast Boy. He has no idea what he's gotten himself into.

It isn't long before Raven goes off to get us food, some of which will be painstakingly vegetarian. At first, it's just small talk between Beast Boy and I, then he looks straight at me.

"Why did you tell her I like her?" He then explains having overheard part of our conversation.

"She already basically knew, I just confirmed it for her. Besides, Raven and I go way back. I couldn't lie to her about that." Gar sighs, but he doesn't seem too upset anymore.

"Look… Dude, just tell her. Be honest and ask her what she thinks about you." He blushed and looked down.

"I can't, I'm not good enough…" I resist a snort. No way is he good enough, I have never ever ever wanted him and Raven together. My standards for her are way higher than my standards for myself. Besides, if he really confesses to her and tries to start a relationship, a judo flip is sure to follow, or something worse.

"You think you could get over her?" He glumly shook his head.

"Then I guess you'll just have to go for it." I silently wish him luck and begin to plan a funeral.

Raven comes back. We sit around and eat for a while, but that gets boring fast.

"Let's play truth or dare," I suggest suddenly, for a few reasons. First of all, we're bored and I've never gotten to play truth or dare before, and second, I'm kind of hoping that the others will use this as an opportunity to get their feelings out of the way. An opening to confess as quick and painless as possible.

"Sure, but you have to go first." Beast Boy says.

"No." I was kind of expecting that from Raven. I look at her.

"Come on, it isn't torture. We can get to know each other and have a bit of fun, kill a bit of time."

"I know you perfectly well."

"Yeah, but you know next to nothing about Beast Boy."

"Can I please call you Gar? Beast Boy just sounds… Dumb." My face falls, that was my idea. Raven thinks my ideas are dumb. I'm not surprised, just a teensy bit hurt.

"Eh, it's fine. Call me what you like. I was leaning towards the name Changeling anyways." Okay, I admit that's a little cooler than Beast Boy. I shrug and lean back.

"You can make me do stupid dares," I say, still trying to persuade Raven.

"Fine," she grumbles, "Cyborg, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Because I promised she could make me do a stupid glare. I'd never seen her eyes glint deviously before, but then, with that hood usually up, I rarely see her eyes. Her hood has fallen off now, and in our company, she doesn't seem like she needs to put it back up.

"Lick the floor." I look at the gross motel floor and groan, but I get down and do it. Gar laughs. He said he'd introduced himself as Beast Boy to Terra, so I don't think the name is going away anytime soon, but maybe he's reconsidering entirely sacrificing who he used to be. I turn to him.

"Gar, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He says. I could be a terrible person and ask him about Raven or something equally terrible but the game just started so I ease up.

"Are you scared of death?" I know that for myself, I absolutely am, it's not really the dying, it's the having never truly accomplished anything.

"No." His answer is instant though- like he's given it a lot of thought.

"Why not?"

"That's two questions." He answers, sounding a little shaky as if he's ashamed of his thought process. He then turns to Raven.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"What's the most embarrassing thing you have in your room?" I've been in her room, it's full of books, hoodies, some female products. I don't know what she's going to pull out of all of that. She looks perturbed, like she doesn't want to be answering this.

"Marbles."

"Marbles?" He questions. She looks frustrated.

"He's a teddy bear. A gift from my mom. I used to sleep with it."

"Oh." Raven fixes her gaze on him and I am momentarily concerned that he's about to be force choked or something.

"Truth or dare, Gar?" He spaces out for a second, looking at her, and I lightly jab him in the gut with my elbow.

"D-dare." He sputters. He's scared of her. Good. Maybe he won't try to make any moves. I am conflicted to whether or not I want him to confess.

"Choose one of us to slap you." She says this with a straight face, no blinking. I wince. Poor Gar.

"Cyborg." He says quickly. I glance between them. I should do a pity slap, make it hurt as little as possible. He's my friend after all. And if Raven was really mad at him, she wouldn't have given him a choice. We stand up. He's so short. I extend my arm and give him a slap. Hard enough that it will sting for a minute, but nothing drastic. He then looks at me, cold and calculated.

"Truth or dare?" There is a glimmer of vengeance in his green eyes. I will not be afraid of shrimp boy though.

"Truth?" What could he really ask me that would be soul-shattering?

"What is one thing that you don't want us to know about you?" I could say anything, but instead, I fess up to what was on my mind the entire game.

"Earlier today I almost killed someone. I did it without thinking, too." I quickly tell them about the officer from earlier, ashamed. Silence follows for a minute, neither of them saying anything.

"Gar, truth or dare?"

"Truth." He mutters. I should ask him about Raven, but I don't.

"Deepest fear?"

"My Uncle." No explanation needed. Even Raven, who doesn't know anything about his past, understands abusive relationships.

"Truth or dare Raven?"

"Truth." I expect this to be the one.

"Name one fictional character you have a crush on." Her face grows red, which I'd never seen before.

"Uh…" She stalls, racking her brain. I'm snickering a little. I've accused her of crushing on about a hundred different fictional guys, now she has to admit one. She looks down and pulls up her hood, shy, evasive.

"Hawkeye, from the Avengers." She mutters. I always thought she would be more into Bruce Banner, especially since we think he's the best avenger, but I guess Jeremy Renner caught her eye a little bit more.

"Cool, I love the Avengers," Gar says, and they glance at each other for an awkward second.

"Cyborg truth or dare?" She says quickly once she's looked away.

"Truth."

"Do you have a crush on anyone?"

"Does Gwen Stacy count?"

"No."

"Then none that I can think of."

"You're pathetic," She teases me.

"Oh yeah? Truth or dare, Rachel."

"Truth." I am the catalyst. I plunge the two awkward lovebirds into a confession.

"How do you feel about Gar?"


	25. Dare

Chapter 24- Rachel

"Dare," I try to redirect. Gar is blushing and looks unhappy, I would have accused him of planning this, but he's no more pleased with the outcome than I am.

"No take backs."

"I am not doing this one. I hardly know Gar, I don't even know what I want to feel much less what I actually do." I stand up, grab my bag, and take a very long shower away from Victor and his dumb truth or dare. It had been fun for a little while, but I wasn't about to be anyone's romantic storyline. Once I can thoroughly wash away the embarrassment I turn off the water, dry off and get dressed. I don't look at Victor when I come back out. Gar is ignoring him as well. He stands, paces, and apologizes.

"I'm sorry, both of you. I was wrong. I shouldn't have asked about something that is solely you guys' business. I'll butt out from now on."

"It's okay, Robot." Gar says, seemingly taking it with stride. Maybe he's over what I'm not over. I compose myself in silence and then force myself to meet his eyes.

"I can't not forgive you." I finally mutter, and he smiles, going off to the bathroom to clean up. It's just Gar and I, and so I force myself to concentrate on what I'm doing. Which is reading my mother's journal. I want to know as much as possible about my powers… As much as possible about her. Eventually, without meaning to, I fall asleep on my bed with the book.

When I wake up there is a blanket over me. I don't know who did it, Gar or Cyborg. I don't need to know. Victor is up and dressed when I get up. He looks sad.

"We need to leave you here for awhile. Robin and Star are back in the states but they're kind of far away. Gar and I will rendezvous with them, but you need to see if you can get in to talk with my dad and find out about the machine."

"Alright." Being alone doesn't faze me. I wasn't really getting used to the group dynamic anyway. Gar looks sad too. I guess he does like me. I still don't know what to feel about this.

"You have your phone right?" Cyborg asks, clearly nervous to leave me. I give him a look.

"I'll be fine, Victor. I'll call you as soon as I'm done getting answers and we'll meet back up." I know what he's thinking, not by any powers, just by knowing him. He's thinking, what if I stay? But that's not an option for me. I can't fight my demons alone. One day I'll come back and give my father what he deserves. Today is not that day. I am… I'm just scared to face him alone. I wouldn't mind having a dinosaur and mechanical assassin on my side when he finally gets what's coming to him.

My only task for the day is to go to the prison and talk to Mr. Stone. I waste no time on tearful goodbyes. I will see all of them again. They leave quickly. There's something they aren't telling me about Robin and Star, maybe one of them is hurt. I walk for a while, reaching town and still walking, just because I don't feel pressured. I don't carry the same need as the others, to get things fast and hide away. Because my whole life has been in hiding I can now come and go as I please openly. No one is looking for Rachel Roth, and certainly no one is looking for Raven. Almost no one.

I set foot in the prison and request a visit with Silas Stone. I've never called him by his first name. He was Mr. Stone, Victor's dad. He had always been nice to me. Had I known he was in cohorts with a cultist, I wouldn't have been nice back. I give my real name because I have nothing to hide, and my visit is granted. I'd only ever read about the through the glass on the telephone set up, and seen it on tv. Now, I've experienced it. I didn't expect it to feel sinister, he'd always been a nice man to me. But now he seemed dangerous, unhinged. He grinned at me.

"Where is my son?" He demanded. How could a grin feel menacing?

"I was hoping you would know. I care about Victor, too. I saw what you let my dad do to him. Why would you let your son get hurt?" He lets out a long sigh.

"I love my family Rachel, adore them. Imagine how I felt when my wife died-"

"I don't need to imagine." I interrupted, sounding cold, but knowing a similar pain.

"Trigon had answers, Trigon had a solution." He refers to my father. Trigon. The name tastes bitter in my mouth.

"I still don't understand," I say, playing ignorant.

"I was going to bring my wife back from the dead. My son would have his mother again, but I knew he may not understand. Might think it morbid or otherwise terrible. So I had Trigon on hand to convince him of the cause."

"My father is bad with words." I say sarcastically. He nods.

"It was a mistake, but it is my burden to bear. If I just knew where he was... My son may be dangerous, there is quite a lot of experimental weaponry built into him. I would be careful, Rachel. I would be afraid." I stood and turned to go, afraid as he had told me to be. Afraid of the man behind the glass, afraid of my father, afraid of what I knew now. I walked out of the prison, feeling like I needed to watch my back. I wasn't afraid of Cyborg like Silas Stone had suggested, but I didn't want to tell him about his dad trying to bring his mom back to life. Neither of us liked to play the dead mom card, and he might react… Dangerously.

I don't know where I'm going, and I'm not keen on calling Cyborg just yet, so I just walk the edge of the city in silence. A few minutes pass, and I realize I'm not alone. First, I startle, but I recognize my stalker from a description. Gar described the pickpocket well yesterday.

"Terra?" I guessed. She nodded, seemingly fine with just walking in silence. Usually, I'm that way, but I have to interject.

"You owe my friend 20 bucks."


	26. Coward

**Sap ahead lol.**

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Chapter 25- Richard

I was in a soupy state of in and out of consciousness. I didn't quite remember what had happened but I spent a lot of time looking up at Star. I was lying on a bed in a light filled room. My head hurt bad, and I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't. It hurt to move. She covered me in a blanket and I tried to get my wits about me. Work backwards to find myself here. I take a few minutes to form a sentence with clarity. I could do better, with an hour, with an hour I could be Shakespeare, but answers are necessary now.

"Where are we?" I sound kind of slurred, kind of drunk, but that in itself is unlikely.

"West Coast." West Coast… Where is that? I comb through my memories.

"California?"

"Yes." I try to sit up. I want to see. She firmly pushes me down to the bed. My memories are foggy. I remember the rebellion in Tamaran. I imagine I was fairly useless to the cause. I have always been fairly useless. I remember the word Gar used.

"Coward." I mutter aloud.

"What?" She asks, but I can only groan, my eyes closing. I miss home.

There's a wet cloth on my forehead. I cough. My stomach snarls, bringing me back once more to the phone conversation with what used to be my best friend. It was foolish of me to think I would earn that again. After what had happened, after my crummy leadership decisions, he's never going to even want to speak to me again. I almost had him back, it was almost like old times. How proud dad would be of me if he knew I had friends now, if it could be called that. If I still have friends.

"Food…" I groan to Star.

"Yes. Give me minutes." So I have minutes to regret.

When she leaves I sit up. The worst I can tell is I took a blow to the head and my arm got a little scraped and bruised when I fell. It's already feeling better. I hardly remember the fight. It was all a blur, probably real heroic, but it didn't feel that way at first. I wish I could remember what fighting techniques I used or whether or not Star seemed impressed. It doesn't even matter. Well, the fighting techniques matter. Dad taught me as many as I could handle and I got to test them out on real enemies for the first time, and I don't even remember. I hate it. The room is filled with light, and I have to close my eyes to find peace. I don't find peace.

I keep going back to Gar. He was furious. Dad asked me, before this whole mess started, why I wasn't friends with Gar anymore. I never told him that I ruined it. That everything was my fault. That I'm a coward. That word keeps replaying over and over in my head. I let myself think that I could be his friend again, but I ruined it. Again and again I put my foot in my mouth.

"Star?"

"Call me Starfire now." She said gently.

"Right. Am I nice?" She looked at me, her head tilting and her long hair cascading down her face. I try not to distract myself from the topic. She laughs. Not a good sign.

"You're silly, Robin. Everyone has niceness." Now it is my turn to tilt my head and look at her. I disagree. I think about Gar's uncle, who abused him, or her sister who would have killed her.

"I'm not sure everyone has niceness."

"I am sure. It is a choice. You are nice when you choose to be nice. Are you nice?" She turns it back to me and I suddenly know she will be a wonderful ruler, and probably an excellent debate team captain.

"I… I don't know. I want to be."

"Then be nice."

"It isn't that easy, I hurt a friend."

"I killed a sister," She challenged. I fall silent.

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

"You can be nice. I can be nice. Even Komand'r, she had niceness too. She just chose wrong. Don't choose wrong." I see a veiled threat and nod. I don't know if she realizes that if we were on opposite sides she would rip me to shreds. Surprisingly, I'm okay with that. If anyone is going to rip me to shreds, I would want it to be her. I eat and lay back down, deep in thought.

"Cyborg and Beast Boy are coming, okay?"

"Good."

"In a couple of hours."

"Great." So I have a few hours to work on my apology. Star goes out to get some more food, probably famished from the fight and the flight. I would be famished too if I were as kick butt as her. When I get a moment of privacy I go to my phone contacts and hit call on one of my favorited contacts. Okay, so my only favorited contact.

"Richard-" My dad sounds so relieved.

"Yeah."

"Come home son." He begs, and I want to. I miss him terribly. But I haven't seen everything through.

"One day. Soon, I think."

"Richard, don't hang up."

"Why would I hang up? I called you. Am I only calling to taunt? As if you weren't the father whom I love? I have a matter to discuss. Its resolution will certainly speed up my return."

"What is it?" He sounds wary.

"Do you know Craig Logan?"

"Your friend's Uncle?"

"Yeah, uh huh."

"In passing…"

"Arrest him. I know for a fact he abused Gar. Had him on the football team to hide all the scars and bruises but Gar never played."

"Are you with him? He's only 15, Richard, he could have made it up. You're not playing hero by helping him runaway-"

"If you respect my opinions in any way you will make sure that he's arrested or no one is coming home."

"This isn't a hostage situation and you are not an adult, I don't have to reason with you when you're behaving like this."

"Dad… Please… I miss you and I want to come home but I want my friends to be safe…" He hesitated.

"I'll look into it." He said.

"Thank you." I clicked the phone off and leaned back, worn out. This was my apology. I needed him to forgive me. I needed to choose right.

When Cyborg and Gar arrived later that night as promised, I was pretty exhausted. Recovery was tedious but I knew I would be more than fine in a few days. Gar, surprisingly, looked worried to see me bedridden. I knew I was fine, but he didn't. He hurried over.

"Forgive a coward?" I asked. And he started to cry.


	27. Pep talk

**I really like this chapter. This is a fun story.**

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Chapter 26- Gar

I don't cry a lot. I shut off that part of me a long time ago. I cried at the funeral, that was it. That was five years ago. It would have been understandable for me to cry after that, but I let it build up, and now, I cried. I had to leave the room, I was mortified. The tears wouldn't stop as if to say I had five years of crying to do. I didn't know how scared I was. I had accused Robin of being a coward, but it was like pointing out the speck in his eye and ignoring the plank in my own. I was a coward first. I'd been afraid for so long and now the fear and the sadness came streaming down my face. I sat in the bathroom on the toilet (lid down) and hugged my knees to my chest. He could have died. I almost lost my best friend. I have lost enough and I nearly jeopardized our friendship by screaming at him over the phone. I was thinking about it the entire plane ride here. Feeling terrible. Wondering if he would forgive me.

It isn't the only thing I am concerned about when I finally find it in myself to smear away tears and compose my trembling body. I want to ask him as he asked me if he would forgive a coward. I will not forgive myself until he does because in a twisted way he is the only family I have left and I knew it even while he was treating me like a piece of gum he had the misfortune of stepping on. But now that we recognize we are both cowards than we can also admit we are in that right brothers. And now friends out of choice and not out of association. My chest is heaving as if I am still crying and imperceptibly I am.

"Robin? Forgive a coward?" He smiles.

"Of course." Star and Cyborg go off to the balcony to discuss strategy. But I stay by the side of my brother, and he tells me what he called his father for, and that he will go home when everyone is safe and justice is served. I don't have to tell him we are brothers because he tells me that Gar doesn't have to be dead, because Wayne Manor has plenty of spare rooms. I nod. All I need to do is nod. He closes his eyes.

"I'm going out to the balcony. Sleep well Robin." I leave the room, but I am not thinking about disappearing.

I tell Cyborg and Starfire what Robin told me after Starfire tells us about taming an uprising, which is actually how Robin got hurt.

"So you're going to go back?"

"Maybe we all should, after we have dished out the appropriate amount of justice." I mention.

"You were the one who wanted to run first." Cyborg pointed out.

"Yes, I know, I know. But I might not have anything to run away from." Cyborg seems shaky.

"Yeah, yeah, maybe I do now." He confesses his fear and regret because of shooting the police officer. I didn't shoot someone and can't imagine his fear but I see in the glimmer of his eye that he is not scared of consequences but rather becoming like his father. I am afraid I have to ostracize Starfire as I say these next words, which are only understandable to massive geeks such as ourselves.

"Victor," for this could only be said addressing both who he was and, "Cyborg," who he is, "you are a tragic hero. Tragic heroes have character arcs that span multiple issues and ultimately shape the character into not who they were or who they are now but who they will be. That is what is going on with you. You have always wanted to be a hero but you are afraid of who you will be. Because you're afraid of being more tragic than hero. But you aren't. You're Cyborg, alias Victor Stone, and you are not the sum of your mistakes or your father's mistakes. And I know that because I am not the sum of my own mistakes or the mistakes of my Uncle. But it's okay to be afraid now." I am not paying attention to his face until I look up now and see him wiping tears from the eye that can still cry. I would guess very much that he is not one to cry a lot either, but today is a day for crying. Starfire does one of several things she's good at, the other main one tearing through dictatorships but this one is tearing through barriers as she hugs Cyborg close. Cyborg closes his eye and hugs back. When their hug ends, my hug begins, and she's squeezing me just as tight as she squeezed the mecha human who can definitely handle forceful hugs better than I. Shrimp boy, I remember. And robot. That's us. That was a long time ago, when we were merely football teammates. Starfire skips inside to dole out a tight hug to Robin.

"You know, I think it was absolutely insane I was ever allowed to be on the football team." I say. He laughs.

"I always pictured you for track, actually. Then you started running away so I guess I was entirely correct." We both laugh and watch the setting California sun, which fills up any emptiness the silence might leave.

"Hey. You know she likes books, right? So if you want to talk to her, to really talk to her, talk in books." I turn to say something, but do not know, at first, what to say.

"Which book is her favorite?" I finally ask. He's surprised and has to think about it.

"She really likes To Kill A Mockingbird and Frankenstein, and I think you will too. Tomorrow I'll go buy you a copy of Frankenstein, but Starfire had a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird." He said.

"Thank you."


	28. People are crap

**This is the only other interlude you guys are going to have so be grateful. Just kidding, enjoy or don't enjoy, review, don't review, idc, I'm writing this for myself at this point.**

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Interlude- Tara Markov

When I became this freak. This, I can't even look at myself type freak, I did not know I would end up on a bus with a girl who sits and reads from a boring, handwritten journal for three days in a row. I just followed her. Onto a bus, apparently. And away from where I didn't want to be, going anywhere. I could go anywhere on this greyhound. I could get up and get off at any stop instead of living off the Doritos Raven keeps buying at bus change stops. Can a person live three days off of cool ranch Doritos and refillable water bottles? Apparently yes. A person can in fact live off of cool ranch Doritos. And so far, I have not died of boredom. Raven, who I just happen to have followed, says if I am so bored I can just read one of the various books she happened to have packed. But that's ridiculous. I am not one to spend time in the world of books. Because if you turn your eyes away from the real world for even a second it will strike you for being different. Plain and simple.

On day two she paused from reading.

"I don't mind, but why are you here?"

"I just wanted to go." I say with a shrug. I am not constant, the earth isn't either. We're always moving, the earth and I, even if each move is unnoticeable. I am used to not being noticed. I pray to be inconspicuous. When I am unnoticed I am able to avoid getting hit. When the world sees me there is pain. I want to distinguish a difference between the world and the earth. The earth does no harm because the earth doesn't know how to fight back. But the world only know how to hurt its own and those who are unlike its own. Me. The world has launched its most powerful attacks on me. But now the earth and I can fight back. But for now, I am just going to go. On this bus, with her books and her Doritos and me having no idea what to do with myself, I don't think anyone is out to hurt me. Doesn't mean my guard is let down, though. That is never the case. I don't like getting hurt.

"I'm not here for the doritos," I add, and we fall back into silence. It is a very very long fall into silence.

I think if it was any other person then this strange girl we would have made small talk. Small talk is like the weapon of the wary. People use small talk as a defense to slowly edge around the crazies of the world. Small talk is a mask, or a shield. I hate small talk. I'm not a big fan of small talkers either. Or people in general. And I'm getting kind of sick of doritos, but I'll survive. I want to get out of this stuffy bus and move with the earth rather than with the world. I want to at least be able to pace the cramped bus aisles, but I tried that once and got snapped at. I hate it when people snap at me. That's why I don't talk to people unless I have to. But sometimes even when you don't talk you get snapped at. Sometimes you can do nothing right. Sometimes you're an epic failure, and a freak, and you just keep pushing on and being pushed down. And people wonder why I don't like them. Too many defective products to trust the brand. I kind of like vigilantes, who hit back and hit for those who can't. But none of them ever found me so I gave up on them too. I never think I could've been something if people had just given me a chance. I'll make my own chances and be whatever I want to be. Frankly I don't give a crap if they do in fact give a crap. I'm gone now. I've moved on.

Day three feels the longest. It just does. Maybe because my period just started or maybe because I'm just getting antsy stuck in the same space for so long. I think that if I ever go cross country again, I'll walk. That sounds better to me. Walking. Moving. Doing something productive and being able to see what lies in my way. To tunnel through if I have to. If I get to. Or go down swinging. Maybe I'm unstoppable now. The Unstoppable Freak. Freak the Mighty. That's a book. I know it's a book, because I can see it peeking out of Raven's bag. It's day three. On day two she asked me why I was here.

"Why are you here?" I ask her. Not for disgusting small talk, I genuinely question her commitment to this really boring road trip. Aren't road trips supposed to be interesting? The wheels in her head seem to be turning.

"I don't know." She says. I think she does, but I don't ask follow up questions. Follow up questions are annoying. Especially when they're from strangers.

We arrive at the destination not triumphantly but with great great relief. I want to kiss the ground, but our relationship is strictly tectonic. I decide that I have come three days with this chick so I can't stop now, and also that any food that is better than Doritos might be in my future if I continue on. I don't expect, when we arrive at a hotel that is only meh at best but definitely advertises as having an OUTDOOR POOL! (am I supposed to be impressed?), to find something even weirder than I, or she, or broccoli boy. I find a look of total and undeniable trust. It's the way Broccoli Boy looks at Raven. Like he trusts her. Like he's seen crap just like me but still has faith in humanity and even in more so in her. It's weird and kind of disgusting.

"Is there any food here?" I ask, pushing past the mush fest.


	29. Waking up

**The next five chapters will all kind of be about the team getting closer together! Pretty excited about it. Also, side note as I read this back and finish up going back and editing all the chapters, Kori is just so enjoyable to write, and I really like this chapter.**

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Chapter 27- Kori

Ouch. My dreams physically hurt. I keep waking up crying. I keep waking up. I don't want to. I don't want to wake up, I don't want to sleep. My family is dead. And my sister, my friend, I killed her. I killed someone that I deeply loved for a long time. She was the last connection to my first family. Now I wake up with them. All of them. A family, yes. Robin and Beast Boy and Cyborg and when she gets here, Raven. She is on a bus again. She will be here tomorrow. Today I will be with my second family, trying not to fall asleep, to dream and to hurt. I do not want to hurt anymore. I do not want to make hurt anymore. I want to be the type of person who does not crush a life loved because the love has gone out and been replaced by hatred. I could have done anything to my sister, could have tried to put the love back, but I killed her. She had to be killed, I suppose, or I would have been. I steel myself with the memories that she would have killed me and my Tamaran. To take my life would be a nothing. A small nothing. But to drain the life from my beautiful Tamaran… That is the fire that fueled me when I struck back. It hurts, but I must persist.

Cyborg asks me if I want to go to the bookstore with him. Robin and Beast Boy stay behind to stay behind, to talk and be friends and watch cable television. But I am rather tired of watching cable television. Beast Boy is also reading the book that I lent to him. It is a very good book, like Raven said it would be, and I am glad that I got a chance to have the words inside my head. It's a book about people who are different sometimes being better than the people who are all the same. But only better because they know that being different or being the same, neither define who they are. Everyone has a choice. It was a good book. Everyone has niceness. That's what I told Robin. Even me, who killed a sister. None of them, I realize, had a sister, or a brother, until now with this family. Cyborg and I walk in quiet for awhile.

"Hey." Cyborg says suddenly, causing my head to jump up.

"Yes, Cyborg?" He smiles.

"I realized that I don't really know you that well. We should fix that." I think and nod. Friendship… That would be nice. I want my second family to be a good one. I don't want to make mistakes and deliver final death strikes to people that I love.

"So, you're a princess?"

"I think I'm Queen now, but yes."

"Ah. That's cool."

"Yes. Tamaran is a beautiful place. You would like it."

"Do you miss it?"

"Yes, but I left it to change the world."

"Like a superhero." He comments.

"What?"

"You don't know about superheroes?"

"Beast boy used this word once. He said the Batman was one."

"Yeah! Batman, he fights bad guys and brings justice to the world, that's what superheroes are. With your powers, with mine, we could be superheroes. The whole lot of us."

"Bring justice to the world?"

"Yes. I've always wanted to be a superhero. I've been different since I was little, I wanted to use my differences to make the world a better place. Is that kind of what you want?"

"Yeah." I smile up at Cyborg. He's got a lot of niceness inside of him. I knew that yesterday, when he was crying. There was a look in his eye that he would be better. Every day better than yesterday, every tomorrow better than today. An old saying in Tamaran.

"Tell me more about superheroes." I request, which seems to be exactly what Cyborg wanted said. He launched into a big talk about different heroes and how most of them aren't real. That makes me sad though, because more people need heroes that are real. I pretend how different things would be if I had had a superhero in my life when my parents were having their throats slit in front of me. My hands shake and I can feel my eyes start glowing, but as I try to blink the side effect away, my legs stop and I fall forward. Cyborg catches me and grasps me into a standing position, and I let out a breath I hadn't breathed yet. He looks at me, one eye ablaze with concern.

"You're still thinking about your sister, aren't you?"

"Among other things, yes." I say with a long exhale. He exhales too, putting a hand on my shoulder. It's a nice hand. Like a hug but much smaller and more centralized.

"I can't imagine how hard it must be, but I know that you're an amazingly kind person, and what you did you did for the good of your country."

"Thank you." I whisper.

"Of course, anytime."

"But it is more than just my sister Komand'r. Many years before our parents were slaughtered like common animals in front of us. I have lost my family entirely." I looked at him, surprise, no, shock, was on his face.

"I lost my mom when I was little to a car accident that would've crippled me if my dad hadn't made me part machine. For years my dad was my best friend, other than Raven. But now, he's a criminal, not to be trusted, willing to hurt others for his own gain." I gave him another hug again. I have found that hugs can't fix problems, but can restore hope so that the people you're hugging have a little extra strength to do some fixing themselves. He pulls away with a shy smile and points his hand in the forward direction.

"We're here." We walk inside, and I look around in appreciative awe.

"Pick out whatever you want, this one's on me. I noticed you liked To Kill a Mockingbird. Do you like to read?" I nod.

"I guess so. We do not read much in Tamaran, but we communicate our stories to one another nonetheless. Stories are important to our heritage." He nodded.

"I'm going to look for books I know Raven likes, meet up in thirty minutes?" I nod at him and wander the many shelves of books, filling my arms with several such books, anything that strikes my fancy of every imaginable genre. These American books tickle me. I want to further examine the cooking ones, because recipes seemed coded in to all of us in Tamaran, and as such we never had any such books. But I also get books that are just for reading, things like Raven would look at. They interest me just as well, the way the English, and other cultures as well, I'd imagine, utilize written word. I suppose when I lived in Tamaran I would think that such reliance on paper and ink would be primitive. We in Tamaran of course use the paper and the ink as teaching tools before people can properly communicate nonverbally. But now that I get to read the works of people with less advanced communications, I find that this communication is just as good, if not better, as the one I left in my home country. Then Cyborg pays for all of the books, and we start the trek back to our hotel.

When we get there, the television surface is off and Robin is deep into To Kill a Mockingbird. Gar jumped up.

"You have more books?"

"Yeah."

"Good, because I finished that one an hour ago and Robin is reading it now and I really would like another book, please." Cyborg handed him the bag.

"I wouldn't mind relaxing, reading something myself." Cyborg mentioned, digging out a book and settling down. Gar grabs Frankenstein, and I start reading a book I found that To Kill a Mockingbird inspired, simply called Mockingbird. And we spend the rest of the day quietly trading books, like our own little library. It feels good. It feels like family.


	30. They're crazy but maybe they're right

**This, the thirtieth addition to the story, marks me going back through all the chapters and cleaning up the errors that riddle it.**

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Chapter 28- Victor

Reading is peaceful, but my mind wasn't wired for peace. It was wired for worry, and I was worried about Raven. Even though she had put in a call and said that she was fine and would be here later today, it just didn't sit well with me. What if something, someone attacked her? Like her father, or mine? And really, what had my father told her? Would he try to set her against me with his lies? I was so scared to face him, and not even because I could have been caught after shooting that officer, which still caused me so much guilt. But because like I'd told Starfire, my dad was my best friend. The only family I had, and he'd been there for me for a long, long time. I turned the ring around in my hand. I hardly remember my mother, but I can't remember a time without my dad. No matter what Gar says about not being the sum of the people who have hurt us, I know that I would have easily been swayed by any argument my dad could have made. Especially since I spent so much of my life obsessing over not disappointing him. Following his rules or breaking them so carefully that he'd never ever find out. Which is why I let Raven handle what should have been my job.

I get up before the rest of them and pop a squat on the balcony, watching early morning on the west coast. I don't know what I'm doing, all I know is that I'm the oldest, and I need to commit to this new family. I need to protect them. I can't lose any more family, none of us can, we've all been through so much. I'm going to protect them. After a little while, I hear the balcony door slide open and look to see Robin standing there.

"Hey."

"Hey," I respond. We hadn't talked much since the accident. Though it's true that we were all flung together, I just don't know Robin very well at all. I do know that he seems to be doing much better than before. Starfire had said he was badly hurt and Gar had been worried sick that he wasn't going to recover, but Robin seriously seems fine. Maybe he's just good at hiding pain, or maybe he isn't hurting.

"How are you feeling?"

"Oh, I'm doing fine." He said dismissively, sitting next to me on top of the sturdy balcony table.

"So… What's our game plan Captain?" I ask him, half joking. He's not my captain, though he did somehow become the leader over this band of misfits of ours.

"I don't know. I was thinking we try to do some good in Cali once everyone gets here. Can't leave out Rachel."

"Raven now."

"Oh, I thought she didn't like that name."

"Guess you don't really know her." I have to be protective of Raven. She's the most important thing in the universe to me, all I have left after losing my mom and my dad. I can't help not trusting Robin around her after what he used to do to Gar. For Gar all the bullying, all the mistakes, they're all in the past, but I watched my friend suffer from Robin's words and actions and am much less forgiving.

"No, and I don't really know you either. That's not very effective for a team, is it?"

"Doesn't seem to work for any super teams I know of." I admit.

"I don't blame you for not entirely trusting or liking me," Robin started, "but if we want to make any sort of difference in this world, we'll have to put our own differences aside. Deal?"  
"I guess so. I have one question though…"

"Shoot." I wince when he says that, remembering the fiasco from before. He doesn't know, doesn't realize, and I try to shake it off quickly.

"Why did you come with us?"

"I… I don't know. There didn't seem to be a choice. After the explosion just sitting back and watching wasn't an acceptable option. And now that some time has passed I can legitimately say I want to be a part of this."

"Even if things get dark?"

"Like revolting in a country ruled by tyranny?" Robin pointed out.

"Yeah, like that. It's up to Raven to explain, but at the bottom of a lot of this mess is… Some incredibly dark stuff." I sigh and wonder why my father ever let himself, a man of science, buy into Trigon's cultist crap. Raven confesses there's something to all of it, but why did Silas Stone have to get involved?

"I'm sorry about your dad." I give a quick nod, blinking so the wetness at the corner of my eye goes away. I can't handle it.

"Do you regret leaving your dad?" I ask to get the subject away from myself.

"Yeah, I do, but I'll be back one day."

"For the boss battle." I remark.

"The what?"

"The boss battle, dude. The final boss?"

"Sorry I just have no idea what you're talking about." Slightly impatiently I start to explain.

"In a video game, at the very end of the game, or of a level, there is a fight between you and one of the villains, usually pretty powerful although sometimes weaker to build up strength… I am fairly certain that Trigon, Raven's dad, is one of our "boss battles", get it now?"

"Uh… Yeah. Is everything able to be related to a pop culture reference for you?"

"Almost everything. I would make a really good Spiderman."

"Noted. Sorry, I don't play many video games."

"To each their own, but we should probably change that because video games are awesome."

"Absolutely. As soon as we're done saving the world."

Talking to Robin and semi-establishing a plan makes me feel a little better about everything that's going on, but it can't entirely settle my nerves. Until I know that Raven is here and safe I won't fully be calmed down. I keep wondering what my father would have said to her. I'm scared that I'll find out I agree with his logic. I'm scared that I'll think he's right, and that Raven will too. I don't want to come to the dark side. I don't want to be an antihero. But I can't help feeling that when all is said and done, loyalty is going to be tested. Because as much as I don't want my father to be right, I don't really want him to be wrong either. If he could just operate in the gray area, the realm of moral ambiguity. Then I wouldn't have to loathe him. Then I would have my father back. Then I would have myself back. I mull all of this over and pace around our hotel room, while Robin researches crime in the area and Gar and Starfire read shoulder to shoulder pouring over separate novels, A Separate Peace, All Quiet on the Western front, war books, an omen…

And then there's a knock on the door, and I thought I was the fastest, but Gar is just a step faster than me, and gets to it. Raven walks in, and so does another girl, the girl Gar described as having powers, no doubt, but for this instance, I don't care about her. I care only about Raven, my best friend and my family. Gar and Raven seem to almost be having a moment, looking at each other timidly, but I don't care about that either. I interrupt their moment, pick her up, and hug her tight. And Raven actually hugs back, whispering,

"I have a lot to tell you." Just like I feared.


	31. Incomplete Bonus Level

**Oh yes! I am so glad to finally be done updating all of the existing chapters, it really is a brilliant feeling. So please, enjoy the new era! Also, it's worth pointing out that up to chapter 46 I have a plan, and I plan to keep going after that, but that's just how far I've gotten so far. Because of some life things I don't know how consistent updates will be, just like they've been inconsistent this whole summer because of the time it takes to update the existing chapters. But I made it!**

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Chapter 29- Rachel

"Please… Just… Give it a moment." Cyborg asks, setting me down from the hug. I understand. He needs time to deal with what I'm about to tell him.

"I got us another room if you guys want privacy to talk., Robin says from the corner. I realize I haven't really talked to him much. Haven't figured out his angle. I'll get to the bottom of that soon, I feel like I have to, and I'd long to do it now. To have a distraction from what I have to tell Cyborg. I loathe thinking about it. I think it's going to confuse and devastate him, and honestly, we've all been through enough. I used to crave knowledge, consuming information like it was my only source of fuel. But now I just don't want to have all the answers. It's kind of a burden. He looks at me, his one eye sad.

"Come on. I got upgrade parts, and you've already worked on installation. Anything you can tell me you can tell me while digging into my occipital lobe.

"Please don't phrase it like that." I'm not squeamish, but I don't like to think of how up close and personal I've been required to get with my best friend's visual receptors. He chuckles hollowly, and we head to the hotel room opposite where the others are. I can hear Terra's distinct voice badgering Beast Boy for food, and him arguing that she owes him money. Their squabbling fades to a low murmur as we enter the other room, but I wish I could use it as a distraction. A S.H.I.E.L.D. against the truth.

I'm five minutes into the upgrades when he asks me.

"Is my father in the wrong?"

"Everything he did was wrong. Relying on a cult leader to make a machine that he did absolutely no tests on and had no idea what it could do, or the range it would have- Terra wasn't even in the building, just the neighborhood, and that machine woke up a power in her. A power in me, in you in Gar and Kori. That's not okay. You can't just do that to people. It could have made monsters. We have no idea that it didn't. Your father was delusional and what he did was wrong."

"Why'd he do it? Tell me why he did it." I let out a sigh.

"That part doesn't feel so wrong," I confess.

"Tell me." Another sigh, I concentrate on his bionic eye.

"He wanted to bring your mother back from the dead. I don't think the machine could have done it, and if it could, knowing my father, it would have called on a legion of sacrifices, but that's why he had the machine created." He should be lying flat and still, but he holds up his hand, fingering something that seems to hold the meaning of the universe for him.

"Oh. That's… That's morbid." I know what he's thinking, from him being my friend and from the emotional connections I have with people. The squabbling in the other room is getting louder, they're like annoying younger siblings but I am still grateful for the sound. I like silence but not like this.

"You don't have to hate him for that. If I could have my mother back I'd do it." I'm tapping into these… These emotions. That's the thing I have right now. Emotions. I'm borrowing from others just to understand my own. The loss that Star feels, the loss that Robin feels, and Gar and Vic and even Terra. They all exist to remind me that I lost too. He looks at me, his human eye softening. He wants to hug me again.

"Thank you, for understanding.."

"Your father is not in the right, but that doesn't mean what he wanted wasn't natural for people to want." I fix the new lens onto his eye.

"Better?"

"Much better. Is there anything else I should know about your talk with my father?"

"He warned me you were dangerous, and that I should be afraid of you." He sizes me up and down and lets out a snorting laugh.

"He has no idea how scared I should be of you." I don't laugh. I just feel hollow.

"You should get some rest, Ray."

"Maybe later."

"Raven?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you take this? I don't… It doesn't belong with me. I don't deserve it." He holds out the ring that he'd been fidgeting with the whole time. I knew instantly who it belonged to, and I knew he was insane for giving it to me. It was charged with emotional significance. I put the ring on my right hand.

"I'll hold onto it until you realize you do deserve it," I promise, quietly.

"Thank you. I'm serious about you getting rest."

"And I seriously will later." I push past him, and past the two younguns still bickering about cash, and head over to Robin, who has a laptop open and is intently studying something.

"Robin." He seemed to jump in surprise.

"Raven, hey!" Then he laughed.

"Heh, bird names…"

"Now is not the time to make featherbrained comments, Robin." I look at him, completely serious until he busts out laughing. Of course the choice of words was intentional. I needed to laugh, even if I'm just feeling the laughter of others.

"What's up? What do you need?"

"Can we talk in private?" No one is paying attention to us, Star is reading, the children are still fighting, and Vic looks like he's actually about to pass out from tiredness, more exhausted by upgrades than he's willing to admit. But I still want to get away from all of this. He nods.

"Let's go for a walk."

I am moderately uncomfortable by the amount of sunshine in California and also by the pretentious stereotype of being a teenager and walking on the beach. It also doesn't help that I am wearing a dark hoodie and feel even more emo than I already am. And Robin is actually incredibly preppy. I'm serious he looks like he was born to be on the beach. He looks casual and well dressed and I don't really understand how he got these nice clothes when we are literally runaways. It makes me feel ridiculously out of place. It makes me feel better, though, that he seems to feel the same way, though he doesn't look the part.

"Weren't you hurt?" I ask though I know none of the full story.

"Yeah, I'll fill you in on everything later, but that's not what you want to talk about, is it?"

"Not really. Were you hurt pretty bad?"

"It wasn't exactly pretty, but I'm fine now."

"Exactly. You're fine now. I have a theory."

"Yeah?"

"So, you were probably too deep into your laptop to question Terra but-"

"Wait, who is Terra?"

"Wow, you really don't pay attention to things outside your sphere of focus. Do you ever multitask?"

"I multitask fairly proficiently, thank you very much." He's a little insulted.

"I can't believe that that sentence came out of someone's mouth and that that someone wasn't me," I said dryly.

"Anyway, Terra is this girl who came here with me. She was a little ways away from Stone Industries when the explosion happened, but she still garnered powers from it. The point of the machine that exploded was to wake up buried power inside of you, that's how it worked for me and for Gar and Kori-"

"She goes by Starfire now."

"Stop interrupting. We got the brunt of that radiation, but there's no way to say it didn't affect others in the building because it clearly affected at least one person outside of the building. We have evidence that Cyborg's weaponry was essentially brought out of hidden files, like a cheat code that allowed you to access an incomplete bonus level-"

"You two talk in video games way too much."

"I said stop interrupting. Anyway, if it did that to him, what did it do to you?"

"What do you mean? I don't have any powers. I'm useless except I can kick and punch things."

"I can't say whether or not you're useless yet, we'll have to see. But I do believe you were endowed with a slight power. Enhanced healing. It's probably not very strong, but you apparently sustained some nasty injuries while you were kicking and punching things. Normal people probably wouldn't be walking around so confident and preppy right now if they sustained those injuries."

"Do you really think I look preppy?"

"Do you really keep missing the point of everything I say?"

"No, no. I've got it. You think I have superhuman powers."

"Uh, no. I think you have mediocre-human powers."

"That's good enough for me."

"Just don't go testing them. I'd hate to be wrong." He smiled.

"I like you, Raven."

"W-what?"  
"I think we could be friends."

"M-maybe."

"After all, birds of a feather should stick together." I shake my head and walk off.

"After that joke, I don't think we can be friends." He laughs and follows me back to the hotel, where there is less sunlight and more air conditioning and a few other problems I have to handle. Like Beast Boy.


	32. Sweaty Palms

**I am going to try to update as much as possible the rest of the summer, but I do have a ton to do and so that might not be possible very much. I will promise you at least two more chapters after this that I'm working on at the moment. Thank you so much for your patience!**

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Chapter 30- Richard

Semi being on Raven's good side is a relief. She's wicked scary and I wouldn't want to be her enemy. And her enhanced healing theory was awesome, and I added it to my notes. All of that was all well and good but something kept tugging at my brain. It only made sense, only two things had permanent dwelling in my messed up head. Questions about my parents, and thoughts about Starfire.

"Hey, Starfire…" I walk over to her as she sits and reads.

"Oh! Robin! Yes?"

"I thought maybe we could go for a walk. Get some dinner."

"Oh but what about the others?"

"Raven can handle the children and there's money enough for everyone to get food."

"Wait. no, what? Robin, I'm not babysitting. Stop." Raven looks irked with me.

"Please, Raven?" I ask nicely.

"Okay… But you're going to owe me." Gar and Terra are still fighting, but it's dying down.

"Noted." I took Starfire's hand.

"Please Starfire, come with me." She looked surprised, but she stood.

"Okay, I will, let's go." We headed out. I felt slightly giddy.

"Why are we going out? Are we celebrating something?"

"Well, um, here's the thing…" Suddenly I felt more nervous than giddy. I cough into my fist.

"Are you still recovering?" She asked, with noticeable concern that made my heart race and my palms begin to sweat.

"No, I think I'm all better now."

"I am sorry you got caught in the midst of my sister's nonsense." She says sadly. I gulp, sweating and mumbling,

"I'd do anything for you." My face feels red.

"Of course! And I you. We must all stick together. We're a family." She says, smiling now. She's sweet and adorable and just too good but she missed the point.

"No I mean I would do anything for you because I like you."

"Robin you know I also like you. We are friends." I nod and take a deep breath, trying not to panic. I feel very urgently that I need to make her understand.

"No, Starfire… I like you like a boyfriend likes a girlfriend." She looks momentarily surprised then nods.

"So you wish to begin the courting procedures?" I go pale white.

"What? N-n-no no no, courting is for marriage… I just want to go on dates with you."

"Oh! Is this a date?"

"Um, I mean… If you want." She nods thoughtfully and doesn't answer. We've arrived at the restaurant and are seated and I'm studying the menu before she answers.

"I haven't decided."

"Huh?"

"Is it okay if the dinner begins as friends and it ends as a date?"

"I've heard of weirder things," I confess. She seems pleased enough with this and squeezes my hand, pouring over the menu. I'm distracted by watching her read with genuine enthusiasm that I forget to pick an entree and then end up asking for the same as she gets.

We end up staring across the table from each other, most importantly both eating probably the best calzones the world has ever tasted.

"You spend a lot of time on the beach in Tamaran?" I asked after I had scarfed down the amazing doughy creation. Starfire nodded, taking a bit more time than I had, seeing no urgency in the situation and savoring the dish.

"Yes, my family and my sister and I would have days where we would go to the beach together. We were happy. We were so happy." She whispered, leaning down to the calzone, her bright green eyes damp with tears. I grabbed her hand and gently squeezed. She knew I'd lost my parents too.

"I'm not going to lie, I always wanted something like that. My dad is a great dad but I always dreamed of having my mom and dad back. Little family vacations to the beach… Two parents who could grab me by my arms and swing me between them and laugh… When I met him, Gar had that, and I loved him like a little brother but I always envied him. Now," I squeeze her hand again, "I realize that everyone's had it bad." She looks up at me and blinks away tears, opening her mouth to say something, and then coming up empty and filling it with calzone.

"This was a good date." My heart beats wildly and my palms sweat.

"You know, I've liked you for a while, Starfire." I croak, miserably failing at being smooth. She smiles brightly.

"Yes, I know. You've always been one to look at my eyes." This confuses me a bit but I say nothing of it because it probably makes sense to her and I'm a bit out of it anyway, intoxicated by her smile.

"They're pretty eyes," I say, wanting to go in for a kiss. Then I get interrupted by our waiter, with the dessert menu.

"D-do y-you want d-dessert?" I stammer out, moment wrecked. She shrugs casually and we look at it and decide to split a sundae. After we pay and leave, her eyes light up again, she has an idea. This time she is the one to grab my hand, and she pulls me toward the beach.

"Take off the shoes!" She insisted excitedly. I slipped off my high tops and socks and held them with my free hand, and she haphazardly tossed her shoes on the beach, dragging me toward the ocean. I had no idea what was going on in her head, but I was excited and shocked by the cold of the ocean. Like I said, I loved my dad, but we'd never found time for a beach vacation. The water felt so refreshing and new, like a world of new possibilities were opening for me. She swings my arm, for I never want to let go of her hand again, and something occurs to me. I scream in silence, unable to tell her what I want. Unable to force my deepest desire out of my mouth where it has gotten stuck.

FUTURE! I want to yell, STARFIRE I WANT A FUTURE WITH YOU! But the words remain stubbornly unsaid.


	33. Lit

**This is a shorter chapter, but Raven's last one was a longer one so I don't mind that this one is shorter. Enjoy! Review!**

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Chapter 31- Gar

In the span of two days, I did what I would otherwise think impossible. I read four books. I read To Kill a Mockingbird, All Quiet on the Western Front, Frankenstein, and Lord of the Flies. I feel sort of lit up from the inside. It feels good. I wasn't the best student after my parents died, I wasn't the worst either. It was just that nothing felt like it mattered, so I would read the required books like anyone else, but it felt so numb and useless. Now I get it. Now I understand.

When Robin and Starfire leave I'm about to approach Raven when Raven approaches me. She's ordered us dinner, and, while we wait, we talk.

"So you've been reading?" She asks me, a little bit interested. A smile plays at my lips.

"Yeah, do you want to talk about books?"

"Depends, what did you read?"

"Well, I just finished All Quiet on the Western Front. That book was kind of brutal."

"What do you mean?" She's never seemed this, alive. I guess books have been lighting her up inside for much longer than they have for me. It's beautiful, the way she looks right now. I would guess she doesn't even know she's smiling. It's lovely.

"All that gore, it just paints a hopeless view of things, doesn't it? The main character is just lost, completely divide from the person he was."

"Well yeah, war isn't supposed to be romanticized. What I like so much about that book is it's realistic and not afraid to be that. It shows what real people go through and how recovering from that just isn't feasible and can't be forced. Everyone's gone through something. War books like this say it's okay to be changed by trauma. It's normal to be changed by trauma." We look through each other, past each other to see past versions of each other. I don't know all that happened to Raven, but I can imagine that it shaped who she became. And what happened to me has changed me. We've both fought wars.

"I, uh, I kind of found a similar theme in Lord of the Flies. I mean obviously there are a lot of themes in Lord of the Flies but one of them I think was war, I mean the whole setting was war and I think that the book could've sort of been a metaphor for young soldiers in war." I mumble the whole thing, afraid she would think my view was stupid. But her smile actually brightens.

"I like that way of thinking… For the boys, what happened on the Island really became like a war for them, so it would make sense to see it like that. I think a really good book on that topic is Slaughterhouse Five. You would like it. It's funny but it's intense, and it's not like a typical war book, it has some elements of sci-fi."

"I'll be sure to check it out."

"So what else have you been reading?"

"I read To Kill A Mockingbird and Frankenstein. Vic said those were your favorites."

"They are…" Her smile is that of pure bliss.

"I really liked them too, especially Frankenstein. I can kind of relate to being viewed as a Monster… And I really like that it's hard to figure out whether or not the monster is guilty or Frankenstein."

"I think that Frankenstein is certainly guilty of manslaughter at the very least because he knew at one point that the monster was guilty of murder and didn't say anything. I think the question of whether or not Frankenstein is guilty would apply to any creator of a sentient being that went haywire. I'm not sure what the answer would be to all of that, but some of this feels scarily like it can happen and will soon be happening. You know what I mean?"

"Yeah, the future freaks me out sometimes. And the right now… Everything freaks me out." I confess.

"I read to escape it." She whispers as if she's telling me one of her deepest secrets. Maybe it is one of her deepest secrets. Maybe Raven's been trying to hide how scared she is for a long time. Well, I have too.

"It's okay to be scared. Everyone in this group, this family, has been scared." I'm distracted by her eyes for a long time, so long that I don't notice her hand in mine until Terra interrupts us.

"Food's here."


	34. This friendship thing

**White Raven is intimidating and incredible in the show so I wanted to somewhat reimagine the look here.**

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Chapter 32- Kori

My shoes did not stay on the beach. I lost my only pair of shoes. I was a princess, and I had a lot of shoes and now I am a superhero and I do not, in fact, have a lot of shoes anymore.

"It's okay Starfire, you can go shopping for more shoes tomorrow." Robin consoles me. So it is set. Tomorrow I, and the other two girls, will go and shop. I am excited.

Raven is not excited.

"I don't like shopping." She grumbles as we get ready to go.

"It is fun!" I encourage her.

"It isn't fun. I'm only going because I'd like another change of clothes." I smile at her, hoping to find her something nice and pretty to wear. She only wears dark-colored hoodies that are too big. Beast Boy seems to like her like that, though Beast Boy and Raven have not gone on a date like Robin and I just did. So he is probably not courting her. Maybe if she got some clothes with color she could start courting. I don't think courting is for everyone. Kay was never interested in romance, only ruling. I saw too late that that was because she had no love within her. But I believe that once there was such a love. I think that Raven wants to believe that she is unloved and unloving but I know different.

"I like your ring."

"Thanks, I'm uh, keeping it safe for Victor. It was his mother's."

"It was nice of him to give you that."

"Yeah, well, he's my friend." I nodded quick and smiled. It was a good thing she admitted to having friends.

"Am I your friend?" I hopefully asked.

"Uh, yeah. I guess if you want to be."

"Yay!" I grab her hand and squeeze. She pulled away.

"I don't hold hands."

"You held hands when we were dying." I pointed out.

"You were holding Broccoli boy's hand last night," Terra said.

"First of all, it's Beast Boy. Second of all, both of those times were different." Raven snapped.

"Okay, we don't have to hold hands." I turn to Terra.

"I don't know you, let's be friends."

"I'm Terra, and I don't do this friendship thing."

"Oh. That is disappointing. Because I think your hair is pretty nice and I thought you might be a good ally in fighting crime." Terra snorted.

"Who stuffed your head full of that nonsense?" She asked. Raven looked uncomfortable and all fidgety.

"Cyborg."

"Figures," Raven muttered. They seemed quiet and on edge, and then we arrived at the store. First I picked out a nice pair of tennis shoes and socks with cute little duckies on them. Dressing was easy, came natural. Years of looking and being my best for my kingdom prepared me for a quick and struggleless shopping trip. But by the time I had tried on and made my purchases, all bright and fun and very California, as the nice fitting room lady told me, Raven was still staring at the same spot in hyper-concentration. She seemed very lost. Terra was not lost, but she distanced herself from us.

"What is the problem, Raven? There is nothing in this store that you like? We could try a second store."

"No… No… I just don't shop very much. I don't know where to begin."

"You should wear a dress." I decide, pulling one from the rack that will go nicely with her pretty hair and eyes.

"No."

"Please try it on? Because we are friends?" I beg.

"Fine, I'll try it on. And then I'm looking at hoodies and jeans." While I wait for her I gather a nice collection of vibrant hoodies that I think she will like, because I like them. And then she steps out of the dressing room to show me. The dressing room attendant and I are very proud of dressed up Raven. She looks uncomfortable in the emerald dress, glancing away in shyness. It fits well against her body. If looks were all that made a person, I would understand why Beast Boy likes her. But Raven is more than a dress she does not want to wear. Beast Boy has other reasons to like her. Yet when she changes out of it, I trade the stack of hoodies for the dress and add it to my purchases. She will express gratitude for it one day, I am sure.

She expresses significantly less gratitude than I expect for the colorful hoodies I find for her. She picks for herself a dark purple, a dark blue, a black, and upon my request, a white hoodie. She finds very many nice jeans that go very nicely with her legs.

"I don't usually wear skinny jeans." She tells me after we pay for her clothes. I do not know where Terra is right now. Maybe in the changing room. Raven doesn't think so, though, and tells us we should go ahead and go.

Raven is only just barely convinced to change into her white hoodie and ripped white skinny jeans before we go back to the hotel. I do not understand why holes are fashion in this country, but I must admit that Raven looks like a different person in her white hoodie.

"How do you feel?" I ask after I have also changed.

"What do you mean?"

"New looks can have new feelings."

"I have enough new feelings to deal with, my clothes don't get a say in how I feel." We walk along together, and I believe her, but she is smiling and walks taller, and her face changes color when Beast Boy sees her. Because she is beautiful, but more than that, she is happy.

"W-white's a g-good c-color on you…" He stutters and stammers, and she hides in the hood. I don't know if she likes it or not, but I think she is still happy. That makes me happy.

I realize that Terra made it to the hotel before us. She is also wearing new clothes, though I didn't see her check out. I'm a little sad about that, but I don't say anything. Cyborg suggests that we play a game to pass the rest of the evening. I think that Robin doesn't like games, he's very busy after all, but soon he joins the rest of us, and we play a very silly game where the group makes a story, one word at a time. I think that we're all very good at this game, everyone knows words. And Terra plays along. Maybe she will warm up to this friendship thing.


	35. Upgrade

**The pressure was on, you know, writing these next two chapters? Because I just got a compliment on how I write Raven and Cyborg, so I had to really bring it this time. So here it is.**

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Chapter 33- Victor

I'm out of the hotel at the crack of dawn. I have my toolkit under my arm and one objective. Get transportation for me and my friends. We've wasted too much time and money trying to be inconspicuous, if we have a ride then we can do anything, get anywhere, and fly right under the radar. Robin and I talked a long time last night, deciding what to do, and this is the way I can help. I'm a little scared, to say the least, to pull from my reservoir of weaponry. I don't want to mess up again and hurt another innocent person. I've struggled my entire life to fit in and be seen as human and… I've been doubting myself.

So I have to get my hands dirty. I need to do something, make something. Dad used to love restoring cars and taught me everything he knew. He was always so good at fixing junk. He fixed me, after all. He wanted to fix mom. Bring a corpse back to life. I can't imagine… I just can't imagine.

I walk through a reeking junkyard searching for the perfect piece to restore. Something to put my all into. I'm doing this for selfish reasons, though my talk with Robin made it seem this was all for the group, it's not. It's for me, for the connection I have to machine. For the belief I've held that if you work hard one day you'll have something to show of it. It's silly, but I don't want to go back to them without something to show. I can't let this family down, they're all I have now. I know that none of them expect me to have all the answers, and none of them expect me to be perfect, but I expect that of myself because it's always been expected of me. There's suddenly an ache in my hand, where mom's ring is supposed to be, but I'm soothed knowing Ray has it. She'll keep it safe, I expect nothing less of her.

The silence isn't so bad. I pick a car and go to work. It's in decent shape but there's still a lot to do. It would be stupid to pick something that seemed impossible, but it isn't a beginner level project. I'm not a beginner. I seem to see all of the pieces laid out in front of me. Every step engraved into my mind from the time I spent in dad's garage, fixing up another rust bucket. I thought it was extremely dorky and lame then, and I loved it. My dad only felt real, felt human, when he was fixing stuff. If my humanity could be doubted for my machine parts, my dad's humanity could be doubted for his distance. Though he wanted me to have friends and be involved, he only ever had work acquaintances. He was overprotective, but he was so from a distance. He never came to my football games, we ate dinner together sometimes, and we fixed cars. I only ever breached the distance when we had a project to restore. I don't know how anyone else ever reached him. Maybe things were different when mom was alive. I can't remember.

There is a lot of time to just think, and my head is swirling with thoughts. I guess that that's what makes me human. The consciousness. The guilt. I try to keep a positive mindset, I've always tried, but I can't pull positivity from thin air. I try to focus on the task at hand, but it's such second nature, my mind still wanders. I've been avoiding thinking about my weaponry. Trying to push away the guilt. If I don't think about it, then maybe I didn't shoot a police officer. If I don't think about it, then I didn't become the mechanical monster people always assumed I would be when they looked at me. My whole life I fought for normal, thinking I could be a hero as they compared me to a brute. I was close when I was on the football team. People liked me. I was lauded as an athlete. Only around Gar and Rachel did I dare act any less than normal, geeky and obsessed with heroics, and every bit the machine I was made to be.

And that is the biggest struggle. Am I man or machine? How can I fit those pieces together, so that I know how to be both? I have had 13 years to mull over these questions and I'm not any closer to the answer. Instead, I just have more questions, like which half is flawed, man or machine? Who is to blame, Frankenstein, or his monster? If the monster, with his mechanics, is fully to blame then why is the novel named Frankenstein? And where do I get off blaming the programmer as opposed to me, the one who used the programming? You can just build a weapon and not suppose the weapon could be used to hurt someone, and even if it wasn't wouldn't someone still be threatened and strive to build a bigger weapon? Doesn't my existence just challenge someone to build a bigger gun? What if I'd killed that man? Wouldn't that make me no better than Raven's dad? I would hate myself if I ever hurt her, loathe myself if I ever reminded her of the man who ruined her life. I promised her family. I promised to be her family. She doesn't know I promised, but my heart would break if I ever let her down. I have too much time to think. Too much time to myself, and I hate it.

I revamp and trick out the group's official ride, but I misspoke. The silence is pretty bad. I wasn't built to be alone. I wasn't built for this silence and solitude. I am going to lose my mind.

"Hey,"

 **(To Be Continued)**


	36. Dastardly

**The next installment will be coming ASAP. I want to pursue Teen Titan plotlines in my own way, I just hope I can do this.**

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Chapter 34-Rachel

I throw myself into research that third day in California. Cyborg is gone and I can't make heads or tails of my emotions, it's better to shelve them than to lose my mind trying to differentiate which is pride and which is embarrassment. If we're doing this ridiculous crime-fighting business then we can't stumble along blindly like we did at the beginning. When we first survived the explosion of course we were stumbling, but now we know more, and we've gotten closer as a group. So it's time to get serious about getting answers.

I'm not going to lie that my origin seems to more closely resemble that of a villain than it does a hero. I used to roll my eyes when Cy would go on and on about his heroic fantasies. I liked the literary world as much as he did but I didn't believe like him. I couldn't see it. In my world real heroes didn't exist and they never would. In my world I watched my mother be murdered in cold blood by my father, so how could I believe? I guess now I've realized I have the opportunity to become what I needed long ago. I can't say I'm excited, but maybe I need this. I don't dare long for the forbidden fruit, revenge on my father. But if I can take down one person who has sewn the seeds of destruction, maybe I can be satisfied. Maybe.

I choose to be alone. Even if I can call these people my friends, and I'm starting to think I can, I choose instead to do my research on my own. Robin is doing the same, he's in deep, and I'm almost inclined to worry for his sanity, but I must believe he can handle himself. I would prefer not to concern myself over the affairs of the others, to begin with, but I already think I'm too far in. I don't know every pain Starfire and Beast Boy and Robin and Cyborg have suffered, but I know so much. I can feel so much. I know that all have been hurt and that all are hurting. I know that none believe that we can conquer the hurt alone. But I like alone. Sometimes I miss alone. Sometimes I think it would be better if I didn't know any of these people. If I was left alone with my demons. If I was a burden to none.

Everyone else is too sentimental. There's Robin and Cyborg, all tied up in not disappointing their fathers. And kind Starfire has a sister on her conscience, parents in her heart, and a kingdom to make proud. And Gar? He puts out a smile, but when I'm close to him there's a dark, swirling vortex of pain and anguish. As much as I scoff at sentiment, I have begun to realize that a swirling vortex exists around me. And I can't reach through it. And I can't reach him, or them. I choose instead to push away emotion, theirs and mine. I choose today to be alone, I choose today to research and ignore. The vortex vanishes for a moment when I'm deep in research. I can block all the emotions in the room out. But I'm getting nowhere.

I go on a walk. To clear my head, ignore all the vortexes around me and just try to refocus on all that is supposed to be going on. I'm supposed to become some superhero, and as such, I have to find an antagonist. A nemesis. Someone to duel on the down low. Even just some one-off villain with witty one-liners could make this whole hero concept less tedious. It's Cyborg's dream to be a hero. I'm only acknowledging that now I have insane powers and I need to use them. If I don't use them for something good, something decent, then I think that the scales really will tip into something… Dastardly. Yeah, no, I can't bring myself to use that word. It's far too retro comic book villain. It's ridiculous and overdramatic… It's a Cyborg word. His dreams, his words, they're bleeding into my life now. I used to be able to keep these things separate. I had my own worlds to escape to and he had his. Sometimes we would overlap, I'd pull him into a novel, he'd hook me into a video game or comic book. But for the most part, we remained comfortably separate. Perhaps it's the feeling of family that changed it. Realizing that I have one now, realizing that I had emotions now, made me susceptible to other people's dreams, and fears. I feel a tug pulling me, something inside directing me where to go. Maybe it's part of my new powers or some unfathomable intuition, but I take a few steps and then my breath gets taken away.

I wasn't one to suspect that the bright and sunny West Coast had a dark and grimy side. All I'd seen before was the preppy beach chic and the overbearingly bright boardwalk shops. Everything and anything I would normally avoid. The kind of stuff that Robin and Starfire were perfect for. But as for me, I'm hesitant to feel at home here. This is my comfort zone, dark, gloomy, quiet and so focused. I need to kick my comfort zone in the crotch. But… This feels like where I belong. Everyone in this comfort zone is working on something. There isn't any camaraderie, there aren't any emotions. Only fear mingled with respect. Prodigies training. Freaks and weirdos and geniuses. And so much evil. You take a few back alleys away from sunshine and suffocation and you wind up in Evil Alley. But that's not what they call it. They call it HIVE. It sounds crazy, but the evil in the air, when I breathe it in, makes me want to stay. The shadows inside of me pull me in. And that's when the fear really amplifies. I book it. I don't have to fight any of them, they don't see me, and with a stone so deeply planted in my forehead, maybe I would just seem natural- like I fit there. That's why I run. Because the last thing I want to do is fit in in this bad guy boot camp. Where my origin seemingly wants me to be. Where my origin insisted I end up. Where the insidious intuition inside led me. So I run.

Remember that I hate running. But I had to get back. I had to be safe. I would take a thousand swirling vortexes of emotion if I could only avoid that part inside of me that reacted so strongly in HIVE. I need to go back to my friends. So I run.


	37. Yelp for supervillains

Chapter 35- Richard

I think we're in sync. Exactly on the same wavelength.

"It has to be Gar." I said, just as he said, "It has to be me." That's my best friend, yeah! We essentially finish each other's sentences.

"What? No, no, no. It doesn't have to be anyone. We should all stay far away from HIVE." Raven warned, shadows spiraling out in all di. She looked terrified. Maybe she wasn't my best friend, maybe I didn't know her very well or finish her sentences, but I knew the look of fear on the face of someone who isn't used to being afraid. And the shadows kind of give her away.

"Don't worry Raven. Gar has the best control over his powers out of all of you, he'll fit in and be able to get the inside scoop." Beast Boy smiled gently at her, making me wonder exactly what was going on between them. Had he always looked at her like that?

"It'll be okay, Raven. I'll be okay, don't worry about me."

"I'm not worried about you! No city needs justice that much that one of you should risk your life." Raven shouted, shadows whipping out of her.

"No, this is terrible. This is terrible." She mumbled, retreating from her panic.

"Are you alright?" Gar asked.

"I… I'm fine." She mumbled as Gar helped her sit down.

"Trust me, Raven. Trust us. Everything will work in the end. They won't hurt me. It'll work out." Raven put her head in her hands as the shadows dispersed. She was calming down.

"Okay. Okay."

"I'm going to go now. It will be okay." He was quiet, about to leave.

"Be careful Beast Boy." She whispered as he began to leave. I pretended not to hear, this seemed very private between the two. Starfire seemed to see no such thing and clapped a little. I half expected them to kiss right then and there, but there was no such kissing, although there should have been. They could have had their first kiss and I wouldn't even be upset that Gar had beat me to first kiss status.

When Gar left we were all kind of silent and sullen and had no idea what to do.

"There has to be more corruption in this city than just HIVE. Surely someone's behind it." I realize.

"Of course!" Starfire said, clapping again. I don't understand all that makes her happy, though I hope to one day. I want to be able to make her happy again and again.

"I'm going to do research." I don't want to bother Rachel, because she seems so out of it and I don't want to get her upset and shadowy again. I appreciate all of Rachel's research and breakthroughs, but, as smart as she is, she really doesn't know what she's doing with this whole vigilante thing. My dad taught me so many things about heroism. He is very, very, very good at his job, and he knows that I'm pretty interested in his career. I get out my laptop and begin to do some in-depth research. HIVE is a buzzword where I search. Everyone knows about it. There are Super Villains leaving secret yelp reviews on henchmen and hitmen that were hired from HIVE. It takes me two hours to get what I need, but the most important thing is we can take down someone from the other end of HIVE, attacking at its source.

"Come on ladies, we're going on an adventure." For the first time since the explosion, I feel like I have value on this team. Because suddenly I have information. Suddenly, finally, I can do good. And for all of my misguided ways, from the way I've treated Gar to the way I've treated myself, doing good is ultimately all I ever wanted. And it's exactly what I will do.

"What are you talking about?" Raven grumbles, still calming down from her… Outburst? I don't know if that's the right word.

"Yes, may we know where we are going?" Star asked, slipping her hand into mine and instantly turning on the red in my cheeks.

"I found a third party very invested in this HIVE business. He's having people trained for this big, secretive project."

"How'd you find this out?" Raven asked, clearly dubious of my research skills.

"Oh well, you know, I just got us hired from the job."

I don't know if you've ever passed out before but this is what it feels like. One moment you blink and the next moment you're opening your eyes and two girls are standing over you worriedly.

"Are you good?" Star asked, looking concerned.

"Peachy." She offered me a hand and dragged me off the ground with ease.

"You do not look like a peach."

"I'm sorry, that was my fault." Raven apologized. Her shadows got spooked again. I brush myself off, a little worried about signing her up for this. It's too late to let her sit this one out, she's the most powerful of all of us, and the quick resume I typed up for her guaranteed us this job.

"You good?" I asked Raven after promising to them both that I was fine. She took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"Then let's go. We have a job to do." Star is confident and I'm semi-confident but Raven still seems shaken. She hides in her hood, though lately, she'd been forgoing it. Talking and laughing with the rest of us. I swear she was just happy, did I break her? Is it my fault? Everything is typically my fault. Or is it HIVE that got under her skin and broke part of her? Star is holding my right hand, so I offer Raven my left. It's just a hunch that she needs someone to hold on to. She takes it.

We take a few buses to get to where we need to be, and when we arrive, I feel a buzz from my phone.

"Richard, I'm coming." I feel a bit panicky myself because that number is a familiar one.

It's my dad.


	38. Crudbuckets

**I'm glad I'm able to get these next two to you quicker, but I can't promise that chapters will be anywhere near consistent. College and stuff.**

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Chapter 36-Gar

It feels weird to go somewhere and be seen. Since I became Broccoli Boy, as Terra so kindly calls me, I have been hiding from society. If you looked like this wouldn't you hide as well? I haven't loved being in the spotlight these past five years, to begin with. I wanted to be noticed but at the same time, I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want my bruises and flaws to come to light. I blamed myself for a plethora of reasons. Everything was better when no one paid me any mind. Everything was best when my Uncle forgot I existed and no one was asking questions about my whereabouts. Then I ran away.

Now I wanted to be seen even less. No one needed to see this freak show. But it made sense for me to go. I was the weirdest looking, and HIVE is a hub of weird and unsightly. I felt a little giddy when Robin said I had the best control out of all of us. I don't know if he's right, because Star seems to have a handle on her powers thus far, but maybe he's right. I've had the most practice, I have to shift every single day, for hours at a time. I've gotten it down to a science. At the start, awkwardness triggered accidents, a pterodactyl here, a rhino there, but now I've mostly been able to block out that trigger. I've still had some slip-ups, when I was arguing with Terra the other day I accidentally became a dachshund. That was not my proudest moment, and if I ever see her again I don't think she'll let me live it down. I don't know where she went this morning, but she's just gone. Not one to see me off on my big dangerous mission, huh? But Raven did…

I suppress the smile on my face because I'm surrounded by people who only know how to sneer. But Rachel kind of lit up my heart this morning when she told me to be careful. She doesn't know how I'll carry that with me for my entire life, even if she comes to view me as rotting garbage one day, I'll always remember that my safety was once important to her.

"Are you a new recruit?" Someone barks at me.

"Yes."

"Name." I pull up my middle name.

"Mark."

"No you ignoramus, your alter ego." I scramble to come up with a third name, something outside of Beast Boy and Changeling.

"Shift."

"Shift? What kind of dumb name is Shift?"

"It's because I'm a shapeshifter."

"Not a very smart one, I see. What do you shift into, people or animals or things or what?"

"Animals."

"Demonstrate." I guessed that this woman was in charge, she was blunt and gruff and she didn't much like me. I changed into a spider.

"Can't you do anything a little bigger?" She asked, seemingly not impressed.

"Oh, uh, yeah." I changed into a pterodactyl. It took swarms of energy, but it was more impressive than my arachnid friend.

"Well okay then, Shift. Start training. I'll send someone over to challenge you." The words challenge you are not, admittedly, my favorite words in the universe. I may know how to become prehistoric, but I've never won a fight in my life. And there were plenty of fights. I think I hear the boss lady whisper something akin to good luck when I leave, but I'm not sure. Is there such a thing here? I find a place to train and see what I can lift, just for a benchmark. And I can't bench. Anything. There's a reason they would have never let me on the football field on my own accord. There's only one thing that I don't suck at. I can run. Of course, I can also turn into a triceratops. But that's not going to save me when I need to fight or bench fifty pounds. Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to take this job. Maybe I shouldn't have volunteered.

"So you're the new crudbucket that needs whipping into shape." I turn and see a bald little boy walking around on giant metal spider legs.

"I thought I was the only spider here." I joke.

"Are you supposed to be funny? You aren't. You're snot."

"Noted. I'm Shift."

"I'm sure you are."

"And you are?" I ask, waiting for him to introduce himself.

"None of your beeswax." Suddenly one of his giant metal legs comes slamming down at me. I quickly shift into a literal bee and come up to visit my tormentor.

"Not sure if I love your attitude," I say when I've changed back.

"Shut up Turd muffin." He shoots back. If he wasn't like, seven, I might be legitimately offended. He attacks again. He might actually pose a threat in the real world.

"Are you always this pleasant, or am I getting special treatment?" When I land on his machine as a fly and turn back, causing the legs to wobble before two more shoot out to steady it.

"You aren't special. Some crudbuckets took the job me and my friends were supposed to get. We're the best-trained soldiers here and someone swiped the job right from under us."

"That sucks," I said, not at all sympathetic.

"Yeah, and so do you." He pegged me to the ground by my shirt. I quickly changed into a rabbit and dashed away, turning on a dime and becoming a rhino, charging for the machine. He sees what I'm doing and the legs disappear, and his machine begins hovering. I hit the wall and have to change back.

"What are you outside of all those gears and wires?"

"A genius, unlike you, crudbucket." I realize that he's not super original in his insults. But I'm having a little fun with this since this guy isn't a hand to hand fighter either. I change into a bird and begin attacking him and his control panel until the whole thing comes careening down. He grabs me by the bird neck and before he can wring it he's holding me by my normal neck, and he's small enough for me to push him off of me.

"I think that concludes this training session."

"You piece of snot! You wrecked my machine! I'll tell my friends you're looking for a fight." I snort.

"Do you even have friends?"

"Yeah. He does." I look up and see a girl who is levitating dumbbells above her head, and the strongest, biggest guy I've ever seen.

I use discretion and that other skill I said I had and I flee the scene before I can become a broken Beast Boy, quietly reminding myself to not make any more enemies.


	39. Hero, Murderer, King

Chapter 37- Kori

I like adventures with my friends. Robin holds my hand and Raven's. They both look very pale. Maybe they do not like adventures? I do not know.

"We're here for the job." Robin solemnly tells a secretive figure. I have actually never seen any figure more secretive than Raven but this figure is quite secretive and might just come close to her level of secretive. I am sad that she is not wearing her pretty white hoodie, but rather the dark blue one. She's nervous. I worry about her. I am feeling very talky today.

"Raven, is blue your favorite color?"

"What?"

"Is blue your favorite color?"

"Uh, yeah." She said.

"My favorite color is purple. Robin, what is your favorite color?"

"Uh, Star, should we be talking right now?" Robin asked, squeezing my hand.

"Yes." I decide.

"Uh, no, that's not what I meant, Star. We're on an important job, I don't know if we should be talking about colors."

"What is your favorite?" I ask again.

"Red." He says, seeming a little annoyed.

"Am I upsetting you?" I ask.

"No, no, I'm not upset by you, I'm upset by other things." I take my arm from his hand and slip it around his back. He looks startled, his face his favorite color. He does that so often. I like it.

"What are those things?" I see that Raven lets go of Robin's hand. I wonder if she is thinking about Beast Boy. I wonder if she would like to hold his hand. I very much think they should court because they are very sweet to each other. I don't know if Raven realizes how he looks at her, at her eyes and not her chest, and how his face reddens like Robin's does for me. I would very much like for them to court, but this country does not do arranged marriage and I doubt very much that I can order them into engagement.

"I think my dad knows where we are." I smile.

"May I meet your father?"

"Well, when he comes for me I think you're going to have to."

"Or we leave you behind." Raven murmured.

"L-leave me?" Robin stuttered, sounding hurt.

"Oh, we could not leave Robin!"

"I don't want to go back." Raven said. Robin put a hand on her arm.

"We aren't going to let anyone hurt you."

"Of course not. No one hurts my friends!" I yell.

"Hey, Star? Maybe keep your voice down. We're supposed to be thugs."

"I thought we were supposed to be heroes." I whisper.

"Well, well. ook here, my newest hitmen."

The bad man who gives us money and guns has a mask over his face. I wonder if he thinks he is ugly. I wonder why he wears the mask. I look at Robin.

"Red X, Blackfire, Phantom." He addresses us. I guess my fake name is Blackfire. I think it's kind of weird that I have to have a fake name, but I suppose it's okay. Raven doesn't like her fake name but she doesn't say anything. Robin likes his fake name. He picked it.

"Your target is named Lazlo Greenwich. If the murder is not completed to my satisfaction then you will be reported to HIVE and punished appropriately. But if you really slip up, I'll take care of your insubordination myself."

"Yes sir." Robin, sorry, Red X, speaks for us. He seems ready to commit this murder and I don't think I am ready to murder again. My heart hurts. I didn't want to kill anyone ever again. I squeeze Robin's hand, worriedly, and he squeezes back. I think he means to say that it will be okay, but I don't think I can be sure. We leave the room of the man with the mask. I don't like his mask or his face that I haven't seen or his request. I don't think I quite like this guy at all.

"We're not killing someone." Raven snaps at Robin when we leave. She drops her gun, her hands shaking hard.

"Of course not! But we go, and we bargain a little with his life, and we see what he knows about HIVE and about Slade."

"Who is Slade?"

"The guy who gave us the job."

"What kind of hero bargains with someone else's life?" Raven accuses. I do not like that they are fighting.

"My dad." Robin blurts. Raven narrows her eyes at him.

"And who is your dad?"

"An unnamed superhero." Robin says, throwing his gun in a dumpster.

"Why are you throwing away the weapons?"

"They could be bugged. He's probably spying on us." We all throw our guns. Raven is thinking.

"A hero, a murderer, and a king." She mumbles when we've walked far away from Slade's house.

"What?" Robin asked. I am smiling because they are talking and because I need to focus on something other than killing a human. I sniffle a little.

"Your dad is a hero, my dad is a criminal, and her dad is a king."

"Was a king." I sniffle, tears beginning to drip. I do not like crying, I do not mean to cry, but I accepted money to kill another human. I have already killed a human that means the world to me. I have already seen my parents be killed. Robin pulls me into a hug.

"Hey it's okay. No one is getting killed tonight." I want him to tell me that Kay's death wasn't my fault. But it was. It was. I killed her. Only me. I will not be responsible for another life and I will not let my friends taste the hatred of murder. I grip him as I cry. Raven puts a hand on my shoulder, offering any strength that she may have. I pull her into the hug.

"We're so different," Raven says, squirming away from the hugs.

"How are we friends?" She asks as Robin wipes tears off my face gently.

"I don't know how, I don't know why. But we are friends. And I will keep my friends safe." I tell her, pulling her into a hug again. She is a sweet girl who doesn't even know. That is why we are friends. Raven manages to smile. And then she turns to Robin, less smiley.

"Phantom?" He shrugged.

"I was hard pressed for names." She lightly swatted him, and I giggled.

"I'll get better at names." He promised, squeezing my hand. I didn't know why.

"Let's go not kill a guy."


	40. Let's be each other's upgrade

**This was a tough one to write for whatever reason. Please don't flame in the comments if you don't like this ship, it is canon in the Earth one (I think) comics. I don't know whether or not it works out in the comics, though.**

* * *

Chapter 38- Victor

"Terra, right?" I'm a little weirded out by her just showing up out of the blue like this, but I'd be a liar to say I wasn't grateful for something to break the silence.

"Yeah. Robot, right?"

"Cyborg. Or Victor."

"I was close."

"Beast Boy said you had powers?" I was a little intrigued.

"Yeah, what's it to you?"

"I'm curious."

"Curiosity killed the Cyborg."

"Why are you here? You don't seem to want to be." I said, a little bit sharply.

"Oh, so you don't want a hand doing whatever this is?"She gestured.

"The only way you can help me is by talking to me. I've been alone with my thoughts for too long."

"That sounds dark. Don't much like yourself, huh?"

"I've had my slip-ups," I mumbled.

"Why should anyone like someone who doesn't like themselves?"

"Because we need someone to like us, so we can see ourselves through a fresh set of eyes." Terra is quiet. I don't look up, and eventually I suspect she might have left.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm restoring a car so that we have transportation."

"We?"

"The others and I."

"Oh."

"And you, if you want to come. I was guessing you wouldn't though. You don't seem like the vigilante type."

"You're right. I'm not."

"Would you come, then, if it isn't really your style?"

"I'd come if someone wanted me to come. But if I were you I'd just take this car and get out. Go somewhere. Anywhere."

"I can't leave my friends behind."

"Maybe you're just scared to be alone with your thoughts. Maybe you're using them as a shield."

"That's hurtful," I grumble, giving her a look. She leans against my car, arms crossed, thoughtful.

"Well, I'm sorry. Sometimes I step on people's titanium toes."

"Who are you, getting into my head and treating me just as bad as I treat myself?"

"Certainly not just as bad."

"Maybe not, but what right do you have to treat me like this?"

"To begin with, you asked me to, and secondly, do you think you're the only one who has a shield? Do you think you're the only one who needs protected from inner demons? Look at me! I'm a mess. I'm worse than you." The ground rumbled underneath us. I knew earthquakes happened in California, but that isn't this. This is Terra. And Terra…

Is awesome.

I reach out before she could hurt herself with the grumbling of the earth.

"Hey, hey, don't worry. I'm here. I'm your friend. I'll protect you." I tell her. I want her to be able to find her center and control her powers. I'm worried someone is going to get hurt if she doesn't, but I also don't want her hurting inside. She doesn't deserve pain. The ground stops shifting.

"You wanna talk?" I offer, opening the door for her, so we can sit in my car and vent. She gets in, and I get in the other side.

"You know, small talk is a shield." I let her take the wheel and steer the conversation.

"Yeah?"

"And it's a weapon. Cowards use it to defend against what they think is unpleasant or awkward."

"Like robots," I say. She laughs a little.

"Yeah. Or little homeless girls that no one loves."

"Oh."

"Yeah. See why I don't want to be a vigilante, tin man? Because they don't exist. If they existed, wouldn't one of them have found me? Wouldn't one of them care about me?"

"Yeah, I guess I see where you're coming from. But that's exactly why I believe so vehemently in heroes. Not because we have them, but because we need them. With the new powers that we have, you and me and the others, we can help people who are in the exact same situation as you were." She goes quiet again, and then she opens the door.

"Are you going?" I feel bad. Maybe I pushed it too far.

"I'm hungry. I thought you could give me ten bucks and I could get us sandwiches. Then we could keep talking about your vision for superheroes." I laugh.

"Last time someone gave you money for food, didn't you vanish?"

"Yeah, but I'll come back this time." I give her ten dollars, and she heads off. I get back to working on the car, but I'm no longer dragged down by the same thoughts. I'm thinking about Terra. About her powers and her words. The way she viewed some things, her thoughts on small talk and her vengeance against shields. I relate to her dislike of herself more than most people will ever know. It makes me wonder, does she know she's worse than me, or does she just not know the things I've done? Does she have blood on her hands too? I'm intrigued and distracted. I'm also a little scared that she won't come back. I shouldn't be worried, what would I be losing? Ten dollars? Chump change. I guess I'm afraid of losing a new friend.

"You didn't think I was coming back, did you?" She asked as she tossed me a sandwich.

"I was a little worried you wouldn't." She pops a squat on the trunk of my car and I climb up next to her. We sit and munch in silence.

"I don't typically come back. I guess you guys are different. I don't feel alien around you."

"Alien? You and Robin are the normalest ones here."

"Yeah, but all of you are rich kids."

"And each of us has been through hell in one way or another."

"Okay Robot, it's not a competition. I understand everyone has been through a lot here. That's why I feel like I can fit in with you guys."

"I'm glad you feel comfortable with us." I really like you. I trust you. I kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to freak her out.

"I don't really feel comfortable, ever."

"Oh." I felt my heart sink.

"But I feel comfortable with you." She added hastily. I wanted to believe her, but what if she was just saying that because I wanted to hear it? Just saying what I wanted to hear?

"Really?" I asked, quietly.

"Yeah. Someone has to like the person that doesn't like themselves, right?"

"Right…" I'm relieved. I believe her.

"Do you want to see the car?" I asked, wanting to change the subject before my cheeks burned any brighter.

"Yeah, sure." I show her the controls as we finish our sandwiches. I'm proud of my car. Then I get a phone call.

"I'll be right back, I need to take this." It's Starfire. She's crying and can barely talk.

"Cyborg, you must come, there was… It's terrible… Hurt badly... We are in the hotel." I'm panicked because I worry that it's Raven. She hangs up before I can ask and I run back to the car.

"We need to go. Someone in our group was hurt."

"I… I can't go with you… I'm not good enough for this." She gets out of the car as I get in, her face clouded over with doubt. I wondered if this would be the last time I saw her. I couldn't deal, then, with the hurt because of fear, but if she'd given me the chance to show her what I saw in her, maybe she wouldn't doubt and hate who she was. She was gone in a blink, the ground in turmoil. My heart sank, and I hit the gas.


	41. The Ugly Duckling

**Things are getting real.**

* * *

Chapter 39- Raven

I'd never held a gun in my hand before. My hand wouldn't stop shaking. I was terrified. I got rid of it as fast as I could because gunshots still rang in my head. One, two, three, four, five. I was the vision of a nervous wreck but I tried my best to suppress. My shadows were itching to rebel. I'd proved myself out of control a hundred times over. Little outbursts, out of character mistakes. For the longest time my emotions played no part in my life and now they were all over the place. Before I'd stumbled into HIVE I'd been searching for a nemesis, but in my own emotions I'd somewhat found one. Robin and Star seemed worried about me, I was worried about me, but way more, I was worried about hurting them. I already lost control of my shadows once and hurt Robin, and I don't want to do that anymore. I try not to even feel scared, I try not to feel anything. If I feel too strongly I'll lose control again. I'll hurt someone else.

It's hard not to feel when there was just a gun in my hand. It's hard not to remember the second it happened, when I was just four years old. I feel dizzy, and paler than normal. I see it all in front of me, trying not to break down in front of my friends. Why should I panic? It's not like… It's not like I was only four, and mom was reading me a story, and I was holding on to my teddy bear, Marbles, and I still remember exactly what story it was that she was reading. The Ugly Duckling. We'd just gotten to the part where the duckling finds its family and learns that it's a swan. I was so happy for the duckling. And light was streaming in from the picture window in the window seat where we liked to sit and read. I was always begging her to tell me another story, just one more, just one more, and she often agreed. We made our way through hundreds of adventures in that window seat, but this little sad swan was our last. I remember what she looked like, her long brownish hair that she would let me play with, the bangs that I now assume covered a chakra, her bright smile and dark blue eyes. I remember wanting to be just like her. I remember knowing, even then, that we were so different. Dad came in. The story had just ended, and he slammed the door behind him. It was so loud that I started crying. Mom picked me up in one arm, holding out her other to try to keep him at bay. Perhaps she was using powers that I didn't know about at the time. Then, she shut me in the closet. But I could peek through the door. I saw dad pull out a gun. I heard the shots. One, two, three, four, five. And in the midst of the shots, I heard her body hit the picture window. Tears filled my eyes, and I could no longer see through the crack in the door. He didn't leave me, he opened the door, scooped me up, holstered his gun and carried me out, shushing me, as if he was a good father. As if I were crying over nothing more than spilled milk, rather than spilled blood. He didn't let me look at her body, keeping my head turned away as I sobbed. I'd seen it though. I'd seen her fall, and the blood begin to gush out of her. I'd seen everything. I didn't stop crying until the Police caught him, and took me away from him, and left me with Jack. My mother, my home, and all of my things were gone. I only had the toy I'd been clutching when she was murdered.

My hands were shaking when I came back to reality. Only seconds had passed but I was dangerously close to sobbing. Star actually does cry, and I feel bad, because she's been through more than me and yet she manages to be happy most of the time. I don't even want to access happiness for fear it will trigger an explosion, but it's hard to feel nothing at all.

And then we arrive at the house of the man we were paid to kill, and it's incredibly difficult to not succumb once more to that nightmare of loss.

"We get in, bargain for some information, and get out." Robin says as he picks the lock as if it's second nature.

"How do you know how to do this?" I ask, to distract from our objective.

"My dad taught me." He seems a little proud, but also a little worried. He said his dad was coming. That means we're all probably going back together. I don't want to go back, but even more so, I don't want to disappear. I don't want to abandon them, they've taken me in and have proven they care about me.

We go in. It's a normal seeming apartment. This guy doesn't seem like a mob boss.

"How do we bargain with his life?" Star whispers.

"You two have to use your powers." I freeze up again.

"Can't we just tell him that Slade hired us and ask him what he knows about Slade so we can take him down?" I whispered, knowing how ridiculous I sounded. I didn't want to lose control of my powers. I didn't want to kill someone, and become like him.

"That probably wouldn't work, Raven." Robin says, not sounding unkind, just once again worried for me. We each take a deep breath, Robin squeezing both of our hands before letting go and barging in. He takes charge.

"Tell us everything you know about Slade or we'll kill you."

"Oh please, Slade doesn't know how to organize an assassination if his life depended on it. Tell your boss to stick to what he's good at and leave my sight before I get angry." The mob boss, who looks to be a tall, muscular man with nice clothes and a vast book collection he was currently perusing, told us with a smirk.

"Don't think we won't do it!" I say, making the books fly off his shelves, a little angry and a lot scared.

"Oh, you won't do it. You're shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. You're terrified, and I'm not scared of you." I grow angry, blinded with it.

"Raven," Robin starts.

"You should be!" The bookshelves start to teeter and he goes for his gun. The teetering stops but the gun does not, and I'm frozen in place, remembering. One, two, three, four, five.

"Raven!" Robin shouts, shoving me out of the way. The gun goes off, and his right arm is shot, and Star and I both scream at the same time. My shadows slam the thug into the wall and Star picks Robin up and we run like insanity trying to get out of there.

"Why'd you do that? You're so stupid! Are you okay?" I yell towards Robin, praying he'd be okay.

"I owed you one…" He mumbled.

"I'll be fine, I promise." Star was crying as she carried him, but no one paid any attention to us. It wasn't until we got back to our hotel, their clothes bloodied and Robin being eerily quiet, that I realized I was crying too.


	42. Soap Operas

**I can't believe how far along we are in the chapters I planned out already! That makes me _super_ happy.**

* * *

Chapter 40- Richard

I can't say exactly what was running through my head when I jumped in front of that bullet. But my guess it was along the lines of, I can't lose another family. I don't know how my parents died, I only had the vaguest memories of them. Raven wasn't going to be another vague memory.

Yes, my shoulder hurt. It hurt badly. But my dad had suffered insane injuries in his field, and I'm preparing to be just like him, so is it really so awful that I got shot? I certainly don't want to keep testing my healing abilities like this, but Raven would have died if I hadn't gotten her out of the way. I'm clearly not dead.

"You're brave," Star says, as Raven talks her through taking the bullet out of my shoulder.

"So are both of you." I reply, using all the training I've ever had to not wince.

"I'm not brave, I'm a coward. I got you shot." Raven says, shadows swarming around her. Like sharks circling their prey.

"I'd say you saved our lives, since you stopped him from shooting again. Who knows what would've happened." My goal, though I doubt how successful I'll be, is to stop the shadows from stalking. They look like they want to consume her, and it worries me.

"I still got you shot." I do my best to sit up, though Star scolds me, and look Raven in the eye.

"I need you to believe me when I say I was the one who got myself shot, I was the one who lurched in front of that bullet. If I hadn't, you would be dead, and all I got was a hurt shoulder. I would do it again in a heartbeat." Raven looks down.

"If I had just moved-"

"It's okay to be afraid."

"I saw my mom shot five times when I was four." She says, so quietly that I almost don't hear her.

"I'm sorry, Raven." Is all I can muster to say, as Star goes around to hug her.

"No more death." Starfire decrees, giving me a look, and I laugh hollowly.

"No more death." I agree, but I can't promise. Death has tainted each and everyone of us. I can't say who it scarred the worst, since we all show pain so differently. There's a little ring on Raven's right hand.

"That's a nice ring," I mention, since she didn't have it when we first ran.

"Cyborg asked me to hold onto it. It was his mom's."

"I'm glad you two are close." It hasn't been more than a few weeks since we ran, but it feels so much longer. I remember the day of the explosion I thought Raven was distant and dull, but no one is one or two character traits and a description. Everyone is so much more three dimensional than a brief glance would have you to believe. And I thought I could peg everyone's personality just by looking. I even had a sparknotes version of myself. A jerk who doesn't deserve care or attention. So much has changed in a few weeks. I am more than I thought I could be, and the people who fill my life are more than extras in a ridiculous soap opera that I used to play out.

It feels like I'd just gotten done mentioning Cyborg when he came inside. Immediately he ran over to Raven and picked her up in a hug.

"Star was so frantic on the phone that I couldn't make out who was hurt and all the way here I thought it was you." He said, sounding so relieved that she was safe. I smiled at the scene, it was like watching a puppy reunite with its owner. I notice that Raven hugs back, and that her shadows begin to fade away. They have their moment, and I turn to Star. One of her new shirts is soaked in blood, and her face is tear streaked. I reach towards her cheek.

"I'm sorry you had to worry about me. I'm going to be okay." I kissed her cheek, and she hugged me.

"You did the right thing, but the right thing made my heart hesitate. I was very selfish, and I wanted you away from the bullet." I understand what she's saying, and I hug her back.

"Right isn't always safe, and it's almost never comfortable. I know you know that." After all, Starfire looked tyranny in the eye and was able to overcome it. That was probably the hardest thing she ever had to do, but it was the right thing. She nods.

There's a knock on the door.

"Beast Boy." I guess

"I wasn't able to get a hold of Beast Boy," Star mentioned as Cyborg went to open the door. Star is sitting next to me, on the bed, and Raven's in a chair, head in her hands. The shadows are trying to seep back in.

"It isn't Beast Boy." Cyborg calls gravely.

"Is he in here? I need to see my son." Suddenly, the jig was up. My dad easily pushed past Cyborg, and stopped in front of me.

"Richard, what the heck?!" He snapped at me, looking worried and angry at the same time. I let out a breath I'd been holding.

"Hi, dad. I suppose you need an explanation."

"It better be a good one."

"It started with the explosion at Stone Industries, no one knows, but there were people in that room when it happened," I gesture at my friends, "Kori, and Rachel, and Gar. The explosion changed them, gave them powers, and Victor and I saw them before the explosion happened, and so we had to search for survivors. We didn't expect what we found. Gar and Kori were already running away, in the moment running only made sense."

"I'm trying to follow, but I can't, completely. What happened to Gar, and how'd you end up here?" I took a deep breath.


	43. Adrenaline rush

Chapter 41- Gar

I didn't get out of my first training session scot-free. I don't think that you're supposed to get out of those without a few scratches, and I'm not super familiar with fighting back. I've never fought back. I've always just taken the pain. It felt so satisfying to fight back like any injury is earned fairly instead of just inflicted. And I'm literally in a hive of criminals, so it's weird that I'm thinking about fairness. The expectation was that you would fend for yourself, and if you didn't you got hurt, you lost. When my Uncle would beat me, I think we both knew I'd never fight back.

Maybe it's fear that holds you back from fighting back. It certainly wasn't inexperience. In my inexperience, I still won that first training session. When I dodged the attacks of my assailant's friends I was ready and jazzed to throw myself back into combat. I don't know why I'm so excited to be a part of this evil environment, but it's an adrenaline rush. Even though I'm a little sore from the first bout, I hop right into several more. I'm using up my adrenaline, though, because I don't get better, I get worse. Or maybe my opponents just keep getting stronger. I try to learn as much as I can about HIVE, these aren't friendly people, but I can hold a conversation with most of them while I'm getting thrashed. I learn about jobs and what they entail, robberies, assassinations, even massacres. Every evil thing under the sun, many enacted by children, some that are older and some that are younger than me. It's horrifying, but I suppose you must train up a child in the way it should go, and if you want it to go down the path to prison, this is where you begin. I'm no closer to finding out exactly who is behind HIVE, though I take my subtle jabs at it.

When my adrenaline drops and I realize that I'm bruised and sore, I take my leave, heading to a little place I discovered on accident when I was escaping my initial tormentors. I will go back to the hotel if I can slip out unnoticed. I would stay longer, but I've learned a lot, I think. I have the names of a handful of players, as well as how they fight, and I know why they're all here. To ruin and rule the world. It feels like a success, finding some things out for my friends.

But spending so much energy switching forms completely exhausts me, and I drift off without even meaning to. That's my biggest mistake, forgetting who I was surrounded by. Thinking that I was safe. A stupid mistake. When I close my eyes, everything is normal. When I open my eyes, I have reason to panic. Reason to run.

But I can't run. The entrance to my hidey hole is blocked by some menacing scowls. Someone reaches in and grabs me, one of my new bruises howling in pain. I have a sudden, random, memory, as I'm hefted above the heads of a dozen or so villains-in-training. I have aspirin in my locker, I think, before remembering that I'd left that life 10 days ago. This wasn't the typical abuse. I could fight back. But before I even attempted to do so, the attacker slammed me into the ground as if I was nothing more than a paperweight he was dissatisfied with.

"Who do you think you are?!" The person growled at me, matching the expressions of dozens around me who seemed to want some intelligible answer but didn't account for how stupid pain made me.

"Shift…" I mumbled, wanting to curl up and cry. I'd hurt before, but this was certainly an intensified version of that. I shouldn't have trained so much before being ganged up on, because my body is already too sore and bruised to fight back, not to mention that I feel it would be incredibly hard to stand up off the ground. There's a ringing in my ears. The woman who recruited me glares down with accusation.

"Oh, sure you are. There's no such thing as coincidences, Shift, and it's no coincidence that three fledgling heroes show up to ruin the operation of one of our clients, an operation we never sanctioned, that he claims was filled by three of our students, and then you show up, poking your nose in our business and asking questions." Before I can defend myself verbally, my hand seems to be smashed by a rather large and heavy foot. I'm more than competent at not shrieking when I'm hurt because that gives them twice the satisfaction of hurting me, but it's hard to keep my mouth shut. I realize, of course, that Robin, Raven, and Starfire must have done something, but I can't say anything about them. I'm kicked as they try to prod an answer out of me.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's fine if you want to be that way. My students need practice." She says, smiling cruelly.

"Practice?" I ask, but it dawns on me. She means practice killing. I'm already in miserable pain. But she's giving the signal. I'm the target now. The assassins in the room have their chance at me.

"Hoist him up, it's no fun if he's just lying there." Someone roughly drags me to my feet, my legs shaking like lime jello.

"Hey, crudbucket, run." I hear the voice of my first and only victory at HIVE. I was so smug. Now I can hardly breathe, I'm so scared. I've never been scared of death, but I'm awfully afraid of letting my friends down, awfully afraid of the pain.

I take a few hasty steps, really trying to run, really trying to do the game I'm about to lose correctly. But my head pounds, and my vision blurs, and my legs wobble. And I fall, and I lose consciousness.


	44. A title, Princess

Chapter 42- Kori

"Sir, it is my fault that we are here in the West Coast." I say when Robin stalls. He turns to me. Mr. Wayne looks frightening when he is frightened, but it is not his fault. When my father was concerned for Kay or I his countenance would curdle as well.

"Please explain."

"Gladly. My name is Koriand'r, and I am the Princess of a little Island nation called Tamaran. Many have not heard of it, but it is very much tangible. There was an attack on my kingdom and I was required to run. That is how I ended up at the school with your son." I don't know if he believes me but it is time for Tamaran to step from the shadows.

"Go on." Mr. Wayne instructs.

"When the explosion occurred I was given powers and I knew it was now my duty to quell the uprising. So, after we had run for a few days, Robin and I took flight to Tamaran. We discovered an awful truth, that it was my own sister spurring the tyrannical attacks. I tried to reason with her, and she tried to imprison me. We fought back, and, I am saddened to confess, my sister's life was lost. It brings me no joy that I had to take what she was abusing." I say this, haunted still by every memory. She is my worst loss, because I lost her on purpose. I miss my parents, but even more, I miss who Kay was before I was required to kill her. A tear rolls down my face, and I must turn away to compose myself as a princess would. Robin squeezes my hand. Raven is listening silently, Cyborg has his hand on her shoulder. No one says anything, so I continue.

"Robin was hurt in the fight, and so I got him back to America as fast as possible. We ended up here, and the others followed."

"So, in Tamaran your arm got hurt?" Mr. Wayne asked, looking at my bandaging job. I am not proud of it, I do not think I did a very good job. Raven told me what to do through her tears, but I am not sure I executed it properly.

"Not exactly, dad. We got involved in something… A little sketchy. Rachel," He gestures at Raven, "discovered a training center for young villains called HIVE, and so we investigated it some more. Rachel, Kori, and I went after one of the clients, accepting a job from him, and Gar went to HIVE directly. Victor had another project entirely. We were trying to find out more about the whole operation, and during our job I got shot in the shoulder."

"He saved my life." Raven says, still seeming pale.

"I see. I don't know how to feel about all of this. On the one hand, Richard, I have trained you to act in such situations, and you seem to have proven yourself heroic. I can't say that I'm not proud. But on the other hand, you ran away from home, acted irresponsibly enough to get hurt, and possibly endangered others."

"It's not like that, dad. I wouldn't let anything happen to them."

"Which is admirable, but still dangerous if it consistently affects the quality of your own life. Where is Gar, Richard?"

"He's at HIVE."

"And is that entirely safe?"

"Well, yeah. He can shapeshift now, into different animals. It's really cool, and I think he'll handle himself just fine."

"I've been in enough fights to know that superpowers don't mean a promised victory. Keep in mind that I've gone toe to toe with Superman."

"Superman is real?!" Cyborg interjected. Mr. Wayne realizes then that he has half revealed his identity.

"Yes. And he's a nice guy. Children, I suppose I might as well tell you…" He pauses, not knowing how to continue.

"My dad is Batman." Robin said helpfully. Cyborg's eyes went wide, and he had to sit down. Raven and I seemed significantly less surprised. I did not much know about Batman except that he stood before me now and Cyborg had said he was a hero. The world needs so many heroes and that's why I would like to be one.

"Yes. Now, think, Richard. Has Gar been trained in fighting?" Robin seems to turn a little white. He is thinking something that he doesn't want to be thinking.

"No." He squeezes my hand nervously. I am nervous too. Is our friend okay? I have just begun to believe that Robin will be okay, and now I am concerned for Gar. The shadows from Raven begin to fill the room like smoke.

"Raven, Raven!" Cyborg calls, clearly concerned. She is worried about Gar because she likes him. They are very close. I like Gar too but in a different way than Raven. I think Raven likes him the way I like Robin. And I like Robin very much. Raven begins to calm down, but shadows still lurk around on the floor. Mr. Wayne looks around. He glances at Raven.

"This is what's going to happen. I'm going to go to HIVE, and I'm going to bring Gar back. And then we're going back home. All of us. We'll work out housing and official training when we get back." Robin's head turns towards his dad.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that there is clearly skill, and power, and heroics here. But you're all unrefined, so we'll work out these flaws later. No one leave."

"We won't." Robin promises. Mr. Wayne looks at his son.

"I'm so glad you're okay, but you are totally getting punished." Robin sighed.

"As long as everyone's okay, I don't care what happens."

Mr. Wayne leaves, and Robin begins to cry. No one can say anything, and shadows fill the room. We are all worried for our friend.


	45. Prodigals

**I swore no more interludes, but this one seems necessary so you're getting two more, one more for Batman and one more for Terra. Maybe in the next phase, I might throw in two more, we'll see.**

* * *

Interlude- Bruce Wayne

I was so scared to see Richard again. When I saw the bandage on his arm fear and fury flooded me. Who hurt my son? Would he be okay? And of course, I was still furious that he'd run away. As the story unfolded, my nerves calmed. I saw my son growing up into the man I wanted him to be. Of course, it hurt to see that my little boy was growing up, but I knew that things would be okay. Even if he was grounded forever after this, I was still proud of him.

I was also worried. For him, and for his friends, especially his friend from childhood, Gar. I didn't love the unsupervised heroism. Maybe if it was just Richard. Richard had been trained and knew how to fight. But if what I had uncovered about Gar's uncle was as true as it seemed to be, Gar only knew how to take a beating and keep his mouth shut. Superpowers were useful and incredible, and perhaps everyone in this collection of misfits could do spectacular superhero work. The only things necessary to be a vigilante are compassion and dedication, after all. However, none of them would do any good on their own without a lick of training. I've already started making plans with my associates, as I head towards the coordinates Rachel gave me. I could tell there was immense power coming from her. I hope above all else, that giving them an outlet is the right decision.

You don't infiltrate an evil lair full of middle schoolers when you're a full grown adult. So my plan was never to blend in, which I suspect was the main element of the plan my son chose to enact. But I don't need to infiltrate. I merely walk in, cape swishing behind me, and see the disaster unfolding in front of me. The boy on the ground has the appearance of Gar Logan. I remember the many sleepovers he and Richard would have. But that was before Gar was green. At first, I think his coloration is because of the beatings, because he's ragged now. Bruised and bleeding and still under attack. But no, he really is just green all over. I kick a few brutal preteens away and grab Gar before more damage can be done to him. But that seems to be the wrong thing to do, because now we're both under siege. Sirens begin wailing, and a shrill voice angrily shouts, "A superhero has made it past security!" I suppose their security had decided to take a lunch break to engage in beating Gar, because I had easily walked right in. And now, I run right out. I could, probably, thrash every single person in this room. Probably because none of them are older than 17, save for a few instructors. But this is a side project for another day. The poor boy's current condition demands help as immediately as possible. The Batjet should serve our purposes well. Gar seems unresponsive but definitely alive. I wouldn't want to wake up if the living daylights were being beat out of me either.

It takes a good bit to lose every tyrannical toddler in this hive. I'll have people on the job dismantling this evil elementary school as soon as everyone is safely on the Batjet. But until then, my primary focus is getting Gar safely home. When I found out about the horrible things Craig Logan did, I knew, deep down, that I would be getting a second son if both prodigals ever chose to come home. Gar and Richard had always been close, and, though frail and bloodied now, and unexplainably green, I saw a spark in Gar that could be nurtured. I saw another kid, orphaned and in time of need. I won't impose myself as a father figure if that isn't what Gar needs, but I certainly won't let him suffer like this again.

I find the hotel room in turmoil, black smoke rolling off of Rachel, and Richard blurry eyed.

"Where's Gar?"

"He's safe on the Batjet. Let's go. Everyone has their things?" They hold up a few loose bags, meager things. A couple of books, I note To Kill A Mockingbird among the titles.

"Great. Let's go." I square up the hotel bills before we leave and usher the children onto the plane. It's for the best, for now, that they don't see Gar. I don't want to worry them anymore. Richard presses the matter.

"Is he okay?"

"I've already called a private doctor to meet us as soon as we land at the manor. Someone who won't freak out about his green skin. I believe he'll be just fine once he's gotten the treatment he needs, although it may take a while for a full recovery. We'll just have to see. As for you, young man, you were shot. Are you okay?"

"Dad, I think I have a minimal amount of healing properties. From the explosion. We met this girl who wasn't even in the building during the explosion and she still got powers, so the chance that I got powers as well is better than it might seem to be. We have no idea what the repercussions of that explosion are." This is a lot to take in.

"The only way to find out is to go to the source and get answers," Rachel says, looking miserable. I know everyone is worried about Gar, but perhaps there's something more to it.

"Yes…" I agree hesitantly, still feeling out of the loop.

"But we'll talk about all of this sometime after we land. Richard, we have much to discuss." Richard nods, and I give him a long hug. I've missed this boy.

Now is a good time to take my leave and check on the autopilot. I sit in the cockpit and give the adolescents some space, still trying to figure out if I'm doing the right thing. But what other options did I have? Gar would be dead if he remained in that place, and Rachel, Victor, and Kori may not have managed on their own. I know, of course, that this was the only way. And yet, I'm a little scared to see what will happen. I always leap in and have fear as an afterthought. And now is the perfect time for afterthoughts.


	46. Hero

Chapter 43- Victor

I sit in my car on the Batjet, utterly silent. I know it's bad news bears that Gar is quarantined but there are so many thoughts swirling in my head that I have to force myself to believe that he will be okay. I'm a little emotional thinking about returning to my hometown. What-ifs have been pressing on me since before I talked to Terra and now all the circumstances are making them worse. I fight to believe that Gar is going to be okay. I have to. Just like I have to convince myself that the officer I shot will be fine. I know I shot him in the arm, the way Robin was shot, and I know, since Robin was fine, that the officer will be fine too. But what if he wasn't? What if I paralyzed his arm? What if I ruined his life? What if I ruined mine?

I'm almost 18. What if the natural course of action is to imprison me for my violent acts toward a police officer? I, a big black guy, shot a police officer. If that gets around in the news, I'm legitimately dead. Forget dishonoring what little remains of the family name, I could denounce Stone in a second. I've clearly ruined my chance of being a hero, my chance to undo the mistake I made. I could have killed him. More than killing my own dreams, I've just let myself down. And I think that I've also let down my mother. And that really, truly is not okay.

There's a knock on the window, and I half expect it to be Raven because we support each other through things like this, and I know she's upset. But it isn't. It's Batman. My childhood hero is standing in front of me and all I can think is that there's a lump in my throat, I'm a disappointment to so much more outside of myself.

"Yes?" I croak, rolling down the window.

"May I join you?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." He opens the door and sits in the passenger seat. Where Terra sat.

"I know all of you are worried about Gar. I wanted to assure you that he'll be okay. When he ran away at first, you were the one who helped him, right?"

"Yeah." Part of me still feels guilty about that. At the time I didn't know he would die without the medicine supporting him, now I feel guilty because he ran away and is hurt, maybe dying. I know he's not afraid of dying, I remember our game of truth or dare, but I'm afraid of my friends dying, and I'm definitely afraid of being at fault for someone, anyone's death. That kind of thing has scared me forever. I know, as much as I make it seem, that my life isn't an alternate reality, that comic books aren't real. That resurrections and time reversals aren't common day occurrences. I realize now that I knew this better than my dad, who sank his whole reputation on trying to bring mom back.

"I think you did the right thing. If I'd known what he was going through, I would have helped him too." It's high praise from my hero but the guilt still remains.

"I don't think I did the right thing. The explosion was a fluke, without it Gar would have died. He would've gotten sicker and sicker and he would've died." I say, quiet and serious. Mr. Wayne sighed.

"It's not easy, Victor, to figure out whether or not you did the right thing. It's easy to justify yourself, but it's just as easy to feel insecure and beat yourself up. I've been there many times myself." That makes me feel a lot better, but my heart still weighs heavy.

"It's not just Gar… We wanted answers, so we went back to the city. When I visited my house, there was a police officer waiting to tell me about my dad. To get away from him, I shot him in my arm with the weaponry my father installed in me. I could have killed him." Bruce Wayne sighs.

"There's another tough call, and I'm not saying you should have hurt him, because of course you shouldn't have hurt him. But in the heat of the moment, decisions like that get made. I've made them. And I've forced myself not to make them. At the trial for my parents' murderer, I nearly shot the-" he paused to censor himself, "-guy who shot them."

"You were scared and did something irresponsible, I was angry and I nearly pulled the trigger."

"But I shot and you didn't." I pointed out bitterly.

"Doesn't matter. In your heart there wasn't intent to hurt that guy. I wanted to see the man responsible bleed. I wanted to see him suffer. I'm not worried about you, Cyborg. I know you'll turn out just fine. When we get back to the city, we'll get in touch with your dad's lawyer, make sure he can make the police officer thing disappear. You'll have a fresh slate. You all will." I didn't know what he meant by we all would.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make a call." I get out with him, intending to go sit by Raven. I feel so much better than I did before. I remember how Terra trusted me, and Mr. Wayne trusts that I'll be just fine. I just have to trust myself.

"I need you to run this story, Clark." I hear Mr. Wayne mutter into the phone before he disappears into a private room. I head out to where the others are.

There's a heavy gloom over all of us. I feel like I need to take charge and spread a little positivity. I place a hand on Raven's knee to comfort her. She's studying the copy of To Kill A Mockingbird that she kinda stole from our school, but she isn't reading it, she just stares at the cover and sighs.

"Gar is stronger than he seems. He'll get better." I say quietly. I'm met by silence. I don't know what I expected. I look at Richard, and quietly pretend not to notice how hard he's been crying.

"He'll get better," I say again, and I go back to hiding in my car. I have to believe it. I don't know how to make them believe it too.


	47. Villain

Chapter 44- Rachel

I thought I was pretty loud. When I said that no one had to go to HIVE. That we could leave well enough alone. I was scared for all the right reasons and for once in my life I spoke up. I made it known that I was there and I had an opinion and they disregarded it. Gar went anyway. Part of me knows it isn't my fault, knows that I tried, but the other part of me says, You weren't loud enough.

I've never been able to stop disaster, at this point, I think I'm just bad luck. First my mother, then the explosion, Robin getting shot, Gar getting hurt. I don't have to see him to know that's it's bad. I can feel the negative emotions swirling around the plane. I really am the villain of my own story. A curse.

I almost accept it. This predetermined destiny that he had in mind for me of being another zombie in his cult. I almost accept it because when I think that I could be evil I think that I could go back to California, go back to HIVE, and destroy it from the inside. I close my eyes, and my hands are shaking, and I'm thinking that I know I could do so much to them. I wouldn't even have to get my powers under control. They are fueled by emotions, so I could just take the anger and let an outburst occur. I can very easily see myself corrupting into the creature of shadows that my past has been pushing on me. Every choice I've made has been dragging me to disaster, dragging me towards the demons. I know that this is not what my mom would have wanted for me. I've read her journal entries and gotten closer to her. I've been able to see the woman who loved the power but loathed the hate that was supposed to come with it. Who denounced the hate that came with it.

With no will behind it, my shadows will fill the room, blinding but harmless. With ill intent, I could bring this plane to the ground. I struggle not to feel. I remember a chant my mother scribbled out in her journal, a meditation to help her achieve calm.

"Azarath metrion zinthos," I mumble under my breath. I try to find a focus point. Somewhere to go in my head that isn't here. I've read so much I have universes to choose from, universes to walk amidst, but I choose a different path. Long, dark brown hair. The Ugly Duckling. We'd just gotten to the part where it realized it was a swan. Where it realized it belonged. I open my eyes, I've repeated my chant several times. The shadowy smoke has dissipated. I am still scared, but I no longer feel out of control. I no longer feel like I'm losing myself. This is a start, but I'll need more help than this. I am going home, so I place a phone call.

"Hello?" I don't realize how late it is, because time seems to stand still in the air, but it's past midnight.

"Jack, I need some help," I say quietly.

"Rachel, you know I'll be here for you but it's one in the morning. When are you getting back?" I forget that his chakra connects him with all the other people in this godforsaken cult. I used to think my guardian didn't care or notice anyone, but noticing is his burden.

"Sometime tonight. My mother's journal has been helping, but I still feel so overwhelmed. You have a chakra… I want to understand." Jack sighs.

"I'm sorry you have to deal with one of these, kid. But I can help you, Arella would have wanted me to. For now, I need to sleep and so do you. We'll talk more when you're back." I feel a little comforted that someone alive understands and can help me, but I'm in no condition to sleep. Yet my eyelids begin to grow heavy, and then they close. I slump in my seat, and I don't wake up on the plane.

I'm in a nice room, probably one in Wayne Manor, and my things are in here. I don't really know what to expect. I sit on the bed and practice the chant that I've learned, trying to be better, trying to focus. I don't ever dream at night but when I close my eyes and say her words, I see her again. Clearer than I have in a while. Though a tear slips down my face, the shadows do not overwhelm me. There's a knock on the door.

"Morning, Raven. There's breakfast in the dining room, and there's a lot to talk about when we get there." I notice, from his red eyes, that Robin has also been crying. We seem to be in the same boat.

"How are you doing?" I gesture at his arm.

"Much better. I'll be in tip top shape soon." He tries to smile at me, but he still looks like, well, for lack of a better word for it, crap.

"Have you seen Gar yet?"

"No, not yet, dad said I could go in after breakfast."

"That's good." I'm scared to see him. I'm scared to get angry, or sad, or terrified and lose control of my powers. I'm scared to hurt him more. I could have kept my mouth shut about HIVE. He would have been fine. I should have stopped him, but now it's too late. I should have stopped caring, but now it's too late. The house is so big, I feel like I'm going to get lost. I mutely follow Robin and try to take everything in. Mr. Wayne is waiting for us when we get there.

"Children, I've made a bit of a drastic decision that I need to explain." He tells us, gesturing for us to sit down.


	48. Redemption

Interlude- Tara Markov

Before, the earth moved and I moved with it. Now it feels like the tide has turned. Like I move, and the earth moves with me. Before I was weak and I couldn't fight back. Not because I didn't try, I always tried and I always regretted it. But now the earth hears me and responds. Now the earth helps me fight back. I know I personify the earth, but sometimes it sucks, being lonely but not trusting people. I wanted things to change when I met the others, the ones like me, but they aren't really like me. So I needed to give the earth a heart and a motivation. I needed to have a friend. A partner in crime.

There was a family. One of the first that let me know that good people are hard to find, at least when you're poor and desperate and can't afford to be kind. Maybe those other kids, maybe they're good. Maybe Victor could pull off being a vigilante. But if he lived on the streets, there wouldn't be one drop of heroism in his heart. Hearts of gold occur when you can afford gold. They don't give those out to people for free, everything comes with a price tag. Everything comes with a price, like learning that nothing could be trusted. Everything I paid for that lesson started with a family on the street, a couple of homeless people, just like me. And skinny little Terra thought that it would be okay. That these people would be capable of help rather than hurt. They took me in, sure, not out of the goodness in their hearts, out of evil.

That's how I know what's in my heart. That's how I know who I am. Because when the earth began to shake its fists with me, there was one thought and I didn't even try to suppress it. I'm going to kill the people who hurt me that way. I leveled an abandoned building out of anger. I buried a family and relished the look of fear on their faces. In an instant, I became a criminal, a murderer, a monster. And it was so satisfying, to know what I was capable of now that the earth and I worked together. I had always done the bidding of others, be still, be quiet, don't fight back, you'll just get hurt worse. Now the earth was at my beck and call, the entire earth, and I could manipulate it into murder.

It felt good.

That's why I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I don't belong with Cyborg and his posse. One, because I know who I am and what I have done, and two, because I've seen for myself that the only time justice is served is when you serve it yourself. And when man is left to decide what justice is, man makes mistakes. I have made a mistake.

And it felt good.

I see his picture on the television. Some big spiel about finding the missing children. I don't pay full attention, distracted remembering what he said to me. About how someone had to like the people who didn't like themselves. In a way, I think he knew about doing terrible things. In a way, I think he made me loathe myself for what I did. The fire of self-hatred wasn't lit inside me until there was a spark of someone seeing me as something else, something better. If there wasn't blood on my hands, a look of paralyzed fear on those that I brought down, all those ifs, only then could I stop hating who I am and maybe see myself differently. Do you think I don't want to? Do you think that I haven't always wanted to be good, to be liked, even loved? Or to be part of something? Maybe there's such thing as redemption, and goodness is still attainable. Maybe I can make a U-turn and become someone I could look at in the mirror. But with all that lies behind me, no amount of good will get me acceptance or affection or a family.

If Cyborg knew how heinous a crime I had committed then he wouldn't be saying that he liked someone who didn't like herself. He would turn away in disgust. It would be the end of any chance I ever had to be part of his group. Whatever they're trying to be. But I take down the location mentioned in the news report. They're back in the city. Wayne Manor.

I could track them down, if I ever grew desperate enough to plead for forgiveness from the only person I may be able to consider a friend. It makes me feel a little more safe knowing that I have a place stashed in my head that I could contemplate returning to. Even if I couldn't be accepted for what I've done, I have a chance to try.

I'm far away from having to try to get down on my knees and beg forgiveness, which I previously assumed I never would have to nor be willing to do. I have the earth under my feet and I move with it and it moves with me. I could drift anywhere in the world. I could break off and go floating through the universe. If I chase what is unfamiliar I may find unfamiliarity to be safe, in a way familiarity never was. Perhaps I'm seeking safety, like everyone in the world. But I believe that many who seek safety do not know what it means not to be safe. Not that I deserve safety more than those who haven't been hurt like me, I know what I am. I just have a different desperation for safety than the rest. I feel like the people I left behind may all have the same desperation. And so I find myself drifting towards Wayne Manor. Drifting towards Cyborg.


	49. Why? He's dead

**I legitimately debated whether or not the story was set in Gotham for the 48 chapters leading up to this, and now it's official.**

* * *

Chapter 45- Richard

I initially felt safe waking up in my own bed in my own house. I haven't slept this well since I ran away. Instinctively I reached for my phone, and a headline caught my eye. It was a story on some news outlet that often published articles about Batman. The headline read, "Missing Children found in Gotham, one dead." I nearly throw my phone across the room, but I choose a smarter course of action and call my dad.

"Where are you?" The building is so big we typically text or call each other instead of wandering the whole manor just to talk.

"The study. I assume we have much to discuss." I head for his study, where he does most of his work for Wayne Enterprises. I'm doing something I haven't done in a long time, I'm chewing on my thumb knuckle, anxious and anticipating the answers my father has. I didn't even open the article, I was too shocked by the word dead. That has to be Gar. Why wouldn't he tell us if Gar's condition was worse than expected? Why wouldn't he open up to me about my worst fear?

I can't lose Gar the way I thought I was going to lose him when we stopped being friends. That just can't happen again. If it does, I'd never forgive myself. If he died, it would all be my fault. I don't knock on the study door, I just barge in.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm sorry about the way things have been going lately. Let's talk." It's early. We've always gotten up early, the both of us. It's part of our system.

"Is Gar dead?" There's fear and tears dripping from my voice.

"Oh, you saw the article. Did you read it?"

"No, just the headline., I say, half sobbing. He pulls me to his chest for a hug and I remember how good it feels to be comforted by my dad.

"I'm sorry that's what you woke up to, Richard. Gar did not die. But I had a statement released that his body was found in the river, a presumed suicide as a result of his Uncle's abuse." I manage to breathe again, feeling better knowing that he isn't dead. That he will be okay.

"Will he be alright, dad?" I can't help still feeling guilty. I used to be so hateful towards Gar. I accused him of being suicidal, and now I realize how close I could have been to the truth. Gar could have given up on everything. He was dealing with so much crap he could've given up. But he kept smiling, even when I wasn't making his life any better by tormenting him in school. I still hate myself for that.

"He's going to get better, Richard. And at breakfast I'll tell everyone what I told you, but we should let them rest more." I nod.

"Let's sit. You still have a lot to tell me, Richard."

"Right, to begin with, I think I want to go by Robin." He looks surprised for a moment, then nods.

"I understand. I can get behind that, Robin." I love him, I just love him. Dad gets me, and supports me, even when I have a hard time doing the same for myself.

"We all came up with hero names," I say, rambling a little, "Gar is Beast Boy, and Victor is Cyborg. Rachel is Raven and Kori is Starfire." He smiles at me.

"That's very good. That's a good first step if you're going to be heroes."

"That's what I thought. Cyborg, he doesn't have explicit powers, but he has weapons built into his prosthetics. Star has the power of flight, super strength, and energy bolts. I'm not completely sure about Raven, but the shadowy tendrils seem to be a part of it. If nothing else, she can use the shadows as extended appendages, using them to move objects without extending a finger. And I also think she can fly like Star. And then Gar can shapeshift into animals, and I have some healing properties. And we kind of met this girl named Terra who was in proximity of the explosion and she can move the earth or whatever. I didn't actually get a chance to talk to her, but I think Cyborg did if you want to talk to him about her or whatever." It feels so good to be talking to him again. I honestly hated leaving him out of my life for so long.

"I'm thinking that we design specific training regiments to go with each ability, so I'll be talking to all of them. If there's a sixth person, we should track her down." I nod absently.

"Cyborg will be more helpful for that." Dad's looking at me as if something is wrong. Or perhaps he's deep in thought.

"Anything else you want to tell me?" Color reaches my cheeks when I think about Star. How I kissed her on the cheek right before dad came. How I was preparing to kiss her on the lips for the first time. I was so nervous. It would have been my first kiss.

"No," I say quickly.

"Okay."

"I'll let you know if I think of something." I promise sheepishly. He nudges me and laughs at my face.

"Okay," I admit, "I might have gone on a date with Kori." He smirks and laughs at me.

"You know that's how I found you? I followed your credit card in the purchase of two calzones and a sundae." My face reddens all the more, mortified by my slip up. He seems to think it's pretty funny though.

"Whoops." I mumble.

"I wanted to tell you one more thing myself, get your opinion on it. I know that in the media Gar is dead, but I'm sort of adopting him into this family, due to his circumstances… Is that okay with you?" I kind of gasp, and laugh, and I think maybe cry.

"You have no idea how okay that is with me… I told Gar, after I got hurt in Tamaran, that we could kind of be like a family now. That when we returned, he could stay with us." He smiled and hugged me.

"I'm so proud of you Robin. I always have been. When you ran away, I was so worried that I pushed you too hard, or that I didn't tell you enough that I love you and am proud of you."

"When I ran away, dad, I put too much pressure on myself. I hated who I was, for so many reasons. I know you worried about me. About how I didn't have any friends, how I was gloomy. I think that's still who I would be if I hadn't run away." I say, and it feels good to admit out loud that I was a wreck back then. He nods and hugs me again.

"I can't say I wasn't the most worried I've ever been, but I'm glad you're in a better place now."

"Can I see Gar?" I ask before I forget to.

"After breakfast. He's in the room by the library. Your friends are in the guest halls, why don't we go get them?" Dad put Cyborg in a different hall than the other two and goes to get him. I get Star and send her on the breakfast, then check in on Raven, who I can tell has been crying. I don't mention Gar's alleged death, dad explains it all at breakfast. I'm just on the edge of my seat waiting to see for certainty that he'll be just fine.


	50. To life they were dedicated

**As this is the 50th installment of Common Mistakes, I'm going to go through once more to tweak any little errors, and from henceforth I'll probably do that every 10th chapter. I have a lot of plans for this story, so it's going places even if people stop reading it.**

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Chapter 46- Gar

The feeling was a familiar one in the first few seconds. A crushing weight on my chest, a second before I was reintroduced to oxygen. These were feelings I remembered from being sick. I cough and try to sit up, slammed back my own lack of strength. I feel like puking but I'm beginning to remember what put me in this position. It isn't disease, but rather aching pain. This room is familiar too, at least the ceiling I'm subjected to looking at is. I have been here many a time before. It's Wayne Manor, and for a second I'm sent back into a coughing fit, falling back on fear. But my Uncle is locked up, so why should I fear? It's just instinctive.

I'm in better condition than I remember being in when my eyes closed, bandages on my head and various parts of my body. It hurts still, and there's a familiar color palette of bruises all over my torso. My right hand is quite unfortunately broken, all wrapped up to get better. I've broken so much in my life that I'm legitimately not surprised the tradition continues now. I don't see the person who took care of my bruises and brokenness, they must be gone, but I know that someone had to have seen my broccoli colored carcass.

There's a knock on the door.

"Come in," I croak.

"Oh good, you're awake. I brought you some breakfast if you feel up to eating." I try once more to sit up, and Robin sets down the plate and grabs some pillows to help me prop myself up.

"How are you feeling?" He asks gently. I give him a look.

"Probably as good as I look." He winces.

"Sorry I asked, and sorry I volunteered you for something you weren't ready for. If I thought you would've gotten hurt I wouldn't have let you go."

"I'm glad that no one got hurt in my stead," I say quickly.

"Ideally, no one's getting hurt."

"Speaking of," I begin to eat slowly, using my left hand with lacking coordination, "what happened to your arm?"

"Oh… It's nothing compared to what happened to you, especially if I have advanced healing." He waves it off with the arm that isn't bandaged.

"You're avoiding my question."

"I got shot. But Raven would have been killed if I wasn't." I pale at those words.

"So you understand why I'm glad no one else got hurt instead."

"Still, you're not doing so hot. Your report says you have a bad concussion, several cuts, a broken hand and leg, and more bruises than I've ever known was possible." I don't shrug because it hurts to, but the idea behind it is there.

"I'm not really a stranger to pain. If you could get me an aspirin, that would be great." He looks a little sick himself.

"Listen, I think there's something you need to know. Back before the explosion, in school, I was a jerk."

"I already knew that." I try to crack a joke for some levity.

"No, no… That's not all. First of all, I'm sorry for all of that, I need to explain."

"Shoot," I say, waiting for him to explain, still eating, sinking into the mounds of pillows.

"When you got sick, I was terrified of losing my best friend. It might not make sense, but I grew bitter towards you for getting sick. I distanced myself so if you died I wouldn't care so much. By the time we were in high school I had myself so convinced that I didn't care about you that I made those twisted jokes about suicide, not caring if they hurt you. But knowing I could never see you die."

"Robin, I forgive you for all that."

"That's not good enough, I need you to know that your life has value. That you matter more than you could ever know, that you have family who will care about and protect you. And… You also need to know you're dead." I had been speechless as he spieled about my value and now I'm a little more than speechless.

"Dead hurts more than I thought it would…" I quip in shock. Where are my parents, if I'm dead? And why is Robin here?

"You're only dead in the media's eye, though. Dad had a story run. You were found in the river, a suspected suicide, because a green Gar Logan is less easily explained."

"So I killed myself. Just like you thought I would. Did you really believe, back then, that I would kill myself?"

"I thought you were days away from ODing on aspirin if I'm going to be completely honest. You seemed a shell of yourself and so was I." That kind of hurts me. To know what Robin believed.

"I wouldn't do that," I whisper, although now, the whole world thinks I did. They think I did a quick hop off Gotham Bridge and ended it all. I feel… Kind of sick.

"I wouldn't, Robin." I wasn't angry for what he said to me, but I'm a little angry for what he believed.

"My parents died! I might not be afraid of dying but don't you think I want to live for them?!" Robin holds up a hand as if to stop me. Like I could do anything in this state other than gripe.

"I didn't mean to make you this upset, Gar. Of course I don't think you'd kill yourself now. But back then, I was disillusioned, and I thought I was days away from losing you. It was my constant fear." I dial back my anger.

"I'm sorry for snapping… I just- I thought you were just crossing lines for the sake of crossing lines… It hurts to hear that you actually believed I might take my own life." And now everyone believes it. My head is spinning. Even if I still have my life, this fabricated lie seems so final. So crushing. Now the whole world knows I was hurting, which I longed to keep hidden, now the whole world thinks I was desperate enough to end it all. I don't know what to do with this information. I don't know how to remake myself to escape the rumor now believed.

I suppose the only thing to do is keep living, as I always intended to. To face death in its time as you're supposed to.

"I'm sorry." Robin apologizes.

"I forgive you, as long as you no longer believe that about me." 

"I don't." He promises quickly, and I smile at him, before wincing.

"You should probably rest. I'll check on you later, okay?"

"Okay." I close my eyes, and in my dreams I see myself free falling from Gotham Bridge. But I take a deep breath, open my eyes, and I'm still here


	51. A legend in my own mind

**I finally finished editing all the chapters, and now I'll just be going back through every ten chapters. The next 30 chapters are planned out, which is extremely exciting. There will be more stuff afterward those 30. I'm excited.**

Chapter 47- Kori

In Tamaran, we do funerals differently. Not to mention that there is usually an actual dead body, which is not so in this case. I am very glad about that, because I do not want my friend to be dead. I want to smile, because I know the secret, but everyone else is so solemn and sad, even us that know the secret. So I am solemn too. We get little slips of paper that say, "Garfield Mark Logan April 12th 2002- March 16th 2018." Today is March 18th. The funeral is full of people. I was only at school for a Thursday and a Friday and a Monday, but I did not see this many people talk to Gar while we were there. I suppose even alleged tragedies bring people together. Some people are not from our school. We will be going back to school tomorrow, all of us except the one that isn't in a casket right now. I don't recognize everyone. Raven and I are wearing dresses. Raven's is black and mine is gray. Cyborg and Robin wear suits, and both stand up to say some words. Robin sounds broken.

"I would change places with Gar in a heartbeat if I could. He was my best friend until I let my own flaws get in the way. I was so afraid of losing him that I distanced myself and now he's gone. I know that if I hadn't thrown away our friendship I could have done something, I could have helped him. Gar was just the best person I knew, and he will be missed." Robin was trying not to cry as he came and sat down beside me.

"Gar Logan was just a good person. The world doesn't really produce those anymore, but Gar was unmistakably good. He took a world of hurt and wouldn't let anyone see what he was bearing. He was always smiling and joking. It was hard to see that he was crying out for help behind those smiles. He and I spent hours together just hanging out and I never thought to help him. I never thought to reach out to him. The world has lost a legitimately good person." Cyborg sits down, also about to cry. I know they know that Beast Boy isn't dead. I also know that they are hurting still. I squeeze their hands.

We mill about and hug people. Robin is talking to someone and I get separated from them. The next thing I know someone grabs my shoulder.

"You killed her…" Elliott growls, glaring down at me. I squeak as he shakes me. I do not know how to react. He is right. I killed her. Then Elliott is pulled off of me.

"Hey, get off of her you creep! The nerve of some people, this is a funeral." I don't recognize this guy, but his features are familiar.

"Hi, I'm Sterling Logan, Gar's cousin. My father used to do the same kinds of things to me when I was Gar's age. I should have known what he'd do to Gar. He was such a good kid… He would have been sixteen in less than a month, you know?"

"I am Kori Starr, Gar was a good friend to me."

"It's nice to meet you Kori. I hope you'll keep my cousin's memory alive."

"He'll be alive to us." I promise, because that is very true. I long to tell this mourning man that his cousin is still alive, but it is not my secret to tell. It is Mr. Wayne's secret, in part, because he fabricated it, and Gar's secret in second part.

"Good, good," Sterling walks away muttering, "I still can't believe it..."

I return to the group. Raven has left with someone else and will return later tonight. As for the rest of us, we take our leave and go to lunch.

"I met Gar's cousin today." I remark, holding Robin's hand in the back seat.

"As did I. He's a very nice young man, he told me that he decided to give the money from the will to a suicide prevention foundation. I wish that he didn't have to grieve like this, but for now, it's for the best." Mr. Wayne replies. Robin stays quiet.

"You both said very nice things at the funeral." I tell the boys. Robin nods, mutely.

"Thanks, Star," Cyborg says quietly.

"Gar is still alive." I remind my gloomy friends.

"Yeah, you're right. He's alive, and he'll be fine… But he could have died. He could have died the way people believe he did, or he could have died in HIVE…" Robin swipes furiously at his eyes.

"Gar will be 100% alright in a handful of weeks. We won't let anything happen to him." Mr. Wayne promises. Robin sniffles still.

"I want to believe it."

"You have to believe it, son. I wouldn't lie to you." Mr. Wayne says, falling silent for awhile. We pull up at a restaurant. It's called Cracker Barrel. It sounds interesting.

Cyborg gets breakfast for lunch and I get chicken n' dumplings and Robin bickers with his dad until Mr. Wayne orders for him a grilled pork chop, and he begrudgingly eats. I am glad to see him eating, I really don't want to see him sad. I hold his hand and make sure he eats. He's like a little kid sometimes. It's very cute. But a little silly. My dumplings are very good.

After lunch we head back to Wayne Manor, and I walk. I keep thinking about Elliott and how angry he was. I wonder if he loved my sister, the way Robin seems to love me. I wonder if they held hands and went to Cracker Barrel. I wonder, as I have wondered since I killed my sister nine days ago, if she could have had a future. If she could have courted and married and had little baby Komand'rs. I have to believe that somewhere my sister still had love, even though she detestably chose not to show it. Our family could have remained forever and ever, but she destroyed it. I destroyed it. He was right. Elliott was right. I killed her, and there will forever be repercussions. What would my father and mother have done, if faced with the same tough call? Would they have let their family slip through their fingers if Tamaran was at stake? Did I make the right decision? I will never know an alternative. So I must believe I was correct, that my parents would do the same for the kingdom. Or else I will go to pieces.

My mind and my feet wander. I think about Gar's funeral. I think about how Sterling is mourning Gar. I think about how we never had a funeral for Kay, and all the people who will mourn her. How there are some people who never stopped seeing the good in Komand'r, even when I did. I have a lot of good to give back to the world to make up for the good that Kay could have done if she had lived. No one is stuck on a bad path. Only death silences possibilities. So far there is no cure for death. But there is a cure for hatred. I am determined to be that cure. For Kay.


	52. Legal Jargon

Chapter 48- Victor

Mr. Wayne had arranged for me to meet with the family lawyer after Gar's funeral, so I was still wearing my suit. It's incredibly hard to remember someone isn't dead when you attend their funeral. I was still reeling from the illusion of his death being on my conscience.

"My condolences, Victor, for your friend."

"Thank you Mr. Danielson."

"Do you mind if I sit in, Victor? I have a matter I want to discuss with both of you." Mr. Wayne asks.

"Of course." We all have a seat in a small, private room.

"Victor, I've spoken with the Officer you inconvenienced. He was very understanding about the whole thing, as you weren't previously informed about the weapons system and intended no harm. You've also taken care of his hospital bills. No charges will be pressed."

"Oh thank goodness. You're a lifesaver."

"Now, about the other matter." Mr. Wayne interjects.

"Ah, yes." My lawyer straightens and both turn once more to me. I shift in my seat, a little nervous about this other matter. Maybe I am getting in trouble.

"Victor, I want you to consider selling your house to me," Mr. Wayne says, flooring me.

"M-my house?"

"Until you're old enough to live on your own you would have a place with me. Your father's assets were frozen. His money was used for criminal activity, and that being said, the house is all you have to your name. As for me, I have a project in the works that would go nicely on that plot of land. I'm prepared to make you a generous offer. Something that could more than take care of your college education. And Rachel's." His information is invaluable. I didn't know I'd have nothing to my name.

"How'm I paying hospital bills if I'm broke?"

"Same way you're paying me. The last of an emergency fund," My lawyer says. I nod and take it in for a minute.

"How much?" I finally ask him.

"2.5 million." I'm floored again.

"You really meant generous."

"Well, taxes will take some of it, but you should be able to have your pick of colleges." And Rachel, and Terra if she ever comes back. And Terra. My face burns in embarrassment, but I'm overwhelmed and I'm wholeheartedly in.

"That sounds like a deal."

"You'll have to file those taxes this year before April 17th," Mr. Danielson advises, before standing up, gathering his jacket, and taking his leave.

"Mr. Wayne, could you give me a ride to the prison? I think I want to talk to my dad." I have a car and could drive myself. But the concept of going alone worries me, and Rachel isn't back from talking to Jack.

"No problem. In the car we can talk about what I'll be using your house for, and how it pertains to you."

I sort of zone out as he talks about his big project. Something about an institution. Something about us training and becoming superheroes. I give a halfhearted response of enthusiasm and cooperation. I'd be excited about it if my heart wasn't weighed down, thinking about my dad. Thinking about all that he tried to do. Death still hangs heavy on my mind. My mom's death, and Gar's alleged one. It was rough talking at his funeral, though I'm glad I did. I'll tell him what I said if he asks, but I don't think he will. Gar's not the type. I was little when my mother's funeral happened. With all that was going on I don't remember it very well. I was in and out of surgery the whole time. I think I had one right after the funeral. That kind of stuff terrified me for a while. When I stopped being afraid of surgeries I realized mommy was gone. And then I was scared of death.

I guess my dad was scared of death as well. Everyone goes through the stages of grief. I guess I moved on to acceptance while he was stuck on denial, and bargaining. Searching hopelessly for a way to be free of the guilt and pain he felt. I don't think it would have been possible, to resurrect my mom. I think that he was just so full of desperation that he was willing to accept any half truth and do anything, no matter how fraudulent or disastrous. I hate that about him. How freely he was willing to give up everything to chase one impossibility. I suppose though that saving me, saving my life, making sure I wasn't a cripple till the end of my days, that seemed like an impossibility at the time. So I guess I don't know what I hate about him. Maybe everything. Maybe nothing. I'm not going to talk to him about resurrection, though. I'm going to talk to him about what he built into me.

The visit is quickly set up, and I go to see my father. As darkened my view of him had gotten, it was still a shock to see him like this.

"Victor, thank goodness you're okay." His relief was genuine, but I wasn't having it.

"No thanks to you."

"Your eye looks good. Who designed it?"

"I did."

"Who installed it?"

"Rachel."

"Oh, very nice. I'm proud of you, Vic."

"I didn't come for your pride or your small talk. I came to know about what you installed in me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"The weapons systems. I need to know what all is there and how to operate it."

"Sonic Canon, hand laser, limited machine gun capabilities, self repair and ability to interface with other computers." I'd known about the last two. The last one was how I'd been manipulating security cameras since 2015.

"That's a lot." I mumble.

"Well, I could have done more."

"Why did you install a sonic cannon and lasers and a machine gun in me? Have I been weaponized since I was four? Are you nuts?!?" I'm understandably mad at him. He's thoroughly and utterly insane. I'm furious about what he did to me. It makes me feel like I'm not his son, just his science experiment.

"I wanted you to be safe. I want you to be able to keep yourself safe."

"Ever think that four year old me could have hurt myself with a hand laser?!?"

"Victor, you should step out." The Guard told me.

"No, no, I can be calm." I promise.

"I'm sure you can, but I think that that ship has sailed. Please. I will only ask once." So I leave. Mr. Wayne and I drive back in silence. I'm still angry, but the anger feels hollow now, and mostly I just feel tired. I am not looking forward to school tomorrow.


	53. Jack

**I'm back! I was doing Nanowrimo, though I didn't succeed, so Common Mistakes was put on the backburner, but I hope you enjoy my glorious return!**

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Chapter 49- Rachel

Jack meets me at the funeral and I go back to the apartment with him. I'll pack up my things so I can move into Wayne Manor. I want to stay close to the others. Keep an eye on Gar… And then we'll talk about the chakra.

"He isn't dead, is he?" Jack asked.

"I almost hate that you know everything."

"Your dad's cult machine affected him too, so I have some lesser tabs on him and the others that were affected."

"Oh… That's cool. How many people were affected?"

"More than you'd like."

"Thanks for that very direct answer." He shrugged and sighed.

"Isn't my place to tell you."

"You're so helpful."

"No, seriously, I don't think I can tell you. At this point, there's nothing you could do with the information that would help anyone."

"Okay." I relented.

"Pack up first, and then we'll talk about your chakra." I'm still focused in on what he said, about knowing things about everyone affected by the explosion. It's chilling to think that there could be that many people.

"What do you know about Terra?" I ask as we head up to the apartment. I feel like the guest room I was put in in Wayne Manor is bigger than this apartment, and I'm pretty sure my guest room was a part of the old servant's quarters.

"Terra… Terra… Let's see… She's still in California." I don't know why I asked, the answer doesn't surprise me at all. But I could tell that there was something Cyborg wasn't mentioning about Terra. I think he likes her. I don't want his heart broken. I'll have to keep an eye on her if she ever comes around again.

"Thanks," I say quietly, keeping my head down. I wonder how much he knows about each person he's connected to. Is it just like GPS, or does he have details? I don't ask. Jack's not a mind reader and he offers no explanation.

Marbles is the first thing to get packed up. Ever since reading my mother's journal and beginning her meditations I've wanted that teddy bear back. I'm a little embarrassed by how much I missed hugging it, but it just feels good. Like I'm back, safe in the picture window, safe with her, reading stories. We had a big house for three people. I remember running through it. Laughing. I was never scared of my father until that day. I never hated him. He would play with me and mom. I thought we were so normal. I thought he was so normal. I can't believe how naive I was. How ignorant. I suppose the chakra comes with awareness. Now I am aware. Evil is everywhere. I begin to pack my books. The bear was the only thing I had left of my mom, now I have the journal. The books are the only thing I truly have left of Rachel. She hid in the library, and only had one friend. And books. So many books. She was an escapist. Now I'm ready to fight. Now I'm ready to change things.

"You ready?"

"Teach me everything. Like… How do I shut it off?"

"You don't turn it off. Someone in the cult may one day challenge you and incapacitate your chakra, but until then, you're stuck."

"Can't you do it?"

"For shame, Rachel. I thought you wanted to follow in the footsteps of your mother. And no, I can't. I'm not powerful enough."

"Am I powerful enough to incapacitate someone else?"

"Are you offering?"

"Not you."

"You have much of your mother's powers in you. I'd say you'd be able to do it in a heartbeat, once you understand your powers."

"Well, help me understand. Please."

"You've probably figured out by now that your powers are extremely volatile and directly related to your state of mind. Specifically, your emotions. I know you weren't previously aware you had emotions, but surprise, you do."

"You know, I might have liked you better when you ignored me."

"You were the only person in the cult I could ignore since your chakra wasn't enabled. Ignoring you was a breath of fresh air."

"I'm glad I could help you," I mutter sarcastically, crossing my arms.

"Come on, let me help you understand your powers," Jack said.

"Okay. If you can actually be helpful, instead of making fun of me."

"I'm just saying that you're just as emotionally distant as I am."

"And now I have a reason to be because my emotions are atomic bombs."

"That's not a healthy way to think about it, Rachel. Your powers are of the variety where restraining the core of it, suffocating your emotions, will only make them worse. You need to learn how to live with and harness your emotions. You have to learn to be okay, no matter how you feel. If you refuse to feel, you will self-destruct."

"Like Frozen."

"Like Frozen." He sighed.

"I do not want to be like Elsa."

"You've read the meditations in your mother's journal?"

"Yes. I use it."

"Good. That's a good first step. While you meditate, explore how you feel. Let yourself experience fear and anger and tragedy one at a time while you go through the chant. Once you understand who you are and how your emotions relate to you, once you can wrap your head around all of that, then you can control your powers. Then it won't just be reactions. You'll understand how your emotions and powers interact and interweave. It will all make sense. You don't even need me."

"I don't?"

"Not really, though I'm always here to help. You are your mother's daughter, and I hope you'll live her legacy." I paused for a second, terrified. The black mist appears again, and Jack looks at me, waiting for me to try to take control. Right now, I just can't.

"Do you think I'll live up to her?"

"I think that you'll surpass her in goodness and power. You'll make her proud, Rachel. I promise that you will."

"Thank you." I know, no matter what, that I'll try to live up to her legacy. Maybe one day I'll be able to.


	54. John and Mary

**I took some creative liberties on this chapter, but that's to be expected.**

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Chapter 50- Richard

I didn't ever intend to leave this school. Contrary to the way I used to gripe to myself about calculus, I actually liked school. When we went back, I was kind of looking forward to things being normal again. Except for my sort of injured arm, I was in good health and back to normal. A few vague acquaintances said they were glad I was back, very few said condolences and many speculated on the nature of my disappearance, saying a few vulgar things I dare not repeat. The weirdest thing about school happened between fourth period and fifth.

"Richard."

"Yes?" I hadn't begun implementing my new name in school yet. It was only the first day back and I wanted to sink back into the routine of things. I was a little surprised to see the football coach and his squadron of players standing before me.

"We think you should join the football team. Because Gar Logan is gone." I doubt they're hurting from Gar's absence the way I am. It's not the same without him here, and though I saw him before leaving this morning, his funeral is still burned into my mind. It could have been real. It could have been real.

"I… I don't think I want to be on the football team anymore," I admit, honestly. That dream died down. I have friends now. I have my father's pride. I have everything I could've gotten on the football team but better. More real.

"Alright. Suit yourself. Hey, tomorrow night we're having a vigil for Gar. Eight o'clock. You should come." That gives me the creeps. People still believing he's gone.

"Okay. I will." My mouth promises before I could stop it. I should stop paying respects to a living person. But I can't stop fearing. I can't stop dreading waking up and finding out he's actually dead. That everyone I care about is dead. The hysteria is burying me alive. I watched them bury a coffin that was supposed to hold my best friend. For all that I have lost, Gar Logan wasn't allowed to be another loss. I was not prepared for another loss.

"See you then." I dread tomorrow night, trapping me in the torment of visualizing him as dead.

When I head home with Star and Cyborg and Raven, I can't focus on the buzz of conversation as my friends recount their own odd return to school. We'd only been gone for about 9 days, but it felt like everything had changed in that time span. But I didn't want to dive into this new environment until I knew that my best friend was okay. So the only thing I could think about was getting home and checking on Beast Boy. I was a little bit freaked out, so I wanted to know that he was okay today. That this vigil and all the condolences were empty, make-believe. Like when we used to play dinosaurs.

Before I could run into Gar's room my dad stopped me.

"Robin," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder, it still feels surreal to hear him call me Robin.

"Yeah?"

"We should really talk."

"Okay, got it, got it, I just want to check in on Gar real quick." I turn to go but he holds me back.

"You'll really want to have this conversation." _Panic_.

"Is Gar okay?"

"Gar's perfectly fine, just asleep. I put some stuff in your room, so let's go talk in there." When he leads me to my room, I'm floored. There's a huge stack of boxes.

"What is all this? Did Christmas come nine months early?" I joke, looking around.

"Not quite. You're almost seventeen, and I should have shown you these a long time ago, but these are things that belonged to your parents."

"My parents?" Suddenly, I don't feel like joking. I feel a little dizzy, and sink down onto my bed.

"Yes. Do you remember their names?" He sits down next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"No…" I feel bad. What kind of person doesn't know his own parents' names? I feel small and sad.

"John and Mary Grayson." He tells me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Did you know them?"

"I didn't, per se, but Batman did. They acted as informants, were spies of sorts."

"My parents were spies?!" I sputtered in total shock.

"Yes, in a way. We worked very closely. They were such trustworthy and good people. They worked undercover as acrobats at a circus and would always tip me off about any shady dealings."

"That's… Wow."

"I see a lot of them in you, Robin. I know they would have been proud." My heart fills, then sinks. I don't deserve their pride. But I will try to deserve it.

"I still can't believe it. Where has this stuff been all my life?" I gesture at the boxes, wondering what I'll learn from them.

"In the attic." I hadn't even known we had an attic.

"You know what happened to them, don't you?" I asked, feeling sick.

"I've known you since I was a baby. When they had you, they were the happiest they'd ever been. They just wanted to be with you. so they got out of the informant game. Your dad got a more stable job, your mom stayed with you. One night they went out, leaving you with a friend. They had left their old lives but they were never forgotten by old enemies. And they were killed by someone looking for revenge. Your parents were avenged, their murderer got the death penalty." I want that to make me feel better. My dad didn't get so lucky when his parents were killed. His killer was sentenced to Arkham by even shadier people. But I couldn't feel better. I was shaking.

I began to sob.

"Robin… I'm so sorry to hit you with all of this all at once." He pulls me into a hug. I sob even harder.

"Robin?"

"I need some space." I cried.

"Some time. To process." He nodded.

"I understand. Call me if you need me." He leaves, but after a minute, the door creaks open. I assume it's dad, checking in on me real quick. But it isn't.


	55. What if you died?

**It's been over a year since I started this story! That's wild to me. I've enjoyed writing this so much, and it was just based off of a request someone sent me over private messaging. It's crazy how that kind of thing works out. I hope to grow so much more in this new year!**

 **Also, there's a lot of mention of suicide in this chapter, and I'm really sorry if any of this sounds insensitive, I truly hope it doesn't come across like that to anyone because it's an incredibly serious topic.**

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Chapter 51-Gar

My head was swimming, it's been swimming for the past two days. Yesterday was my funeral. My FUNERAL. People think I died. People went to my funeral because they thought I died. Because they thought I killed myself. I still can't get over that. I don't know how to feel, but I know I feel empty.

I don't like the idea of people mourning me. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth to think that my death was so easily accepted. Did people really see me as someone who would take my own life? Robin had. I try to focus on something else, like trying to find designs in the ceiling, like Robin and I used to do during sleepovers. I look around my room and take inventory. I have a couple of outfits in the corner, my old backpack, and the money and momentos I stole from my Uncle. The amount I can call mine doesn't matter. What's most important is that I have a few things from my parents. A few remaining connections to the life I lost. A family scrapbook, a music box. A few extra pictures, wedding bands, and a few Christmas ornaments. When I think back to the time when I had something better than memories my eyes get bleary.

I wipe at them quickly when the door opens. Robin brought me breakfast, so I don't know what business Mr. Wayne has with me. I don't want to be, but I'm annoyed with him. He's the one that condemned me to death. Specifically death by jumping off a bridge. I can't get over that.

"Good morning Gar! I appreciated your acting skills yesterday."

"Excuse me?" I was a smidge confused.

"I know you pretended to be asleep every time that I came in here yesterday. It's fine if you didn't want to talk, but I think we should now."

"You killed me." I said plainly. I would have crossed my arms had moving not been painful, but instead I just did my best to stare down Batman.

"I see. I understand why you'd be upset about that. But with the news about your Uncle coming to light, and your new condition… It was just easier to have a dead Gar Logan-"

"Than a green one. I get it, I do. I want to understand, and I would be okay with it… But you had me kill myself. You got people to believe that I was the type of person who would kill myself. I'm not that person." Mr. Wayne sighed.

"I'm really sorry. I should have thought about how this might affect you, but at the time it just didn't cross my mind." I sighed and looked down. My head was hurting, and I didn't know if it was the concussion or the information.

"I don't want to be dead, sir. My parents' deaths were enough for me. They showed me that life was worth living and gave me something to live up to. I just… I can't get over being seen as suicidal. Especially since Robin really thought that I was."

"He did?" Mr. Wayne seemed surprised by that.

"Yeah." It was a big slam to my self esteem that someone who I consider one of my closest friends just didn't know me at all. It also makes me wonder, did he think that I was capable of suicide, because maybe he's capable of it? Suddenly the knot in my stomach feels tighter. I didn't think I'd ever find myself asking my friend this. And I won't, not today. But I think that we should probably talk about it, and I feel like the whole thing has gotten me in over my head.

"That must be discouraging."

"I never ever thought about killing myself. I just wanted to disappear, and disappearing was the closest I ever got to being dead."

"Cyborg told me what your risked. I just… I don't want to seem insensitive, but doesn't that seem a little suicidal?"

"No, I get it. It was risky, and stupid, and in a way it felt like I was saving my life, not ending it. Every day of my life it felt like I was just letting him kill me. I just wanted to disappear and live a life that wasn't infiltrated by abuse. I never wanted people to know what I went through." I sighed, my head pounding. No one had needed to know. I was going to escape. I was going to live. That's what I wanted, anyway, even if it was killing me at the time.

"I'm sorry," Mr. Wayne rubbed his face.

"I'm sorry that no one knew, and now I'm sorry that everyone knows."

"You just can't win," I laugh hollowly.

"But that's never going to happen again. Consider this your escape, Gar, consider this your disappearing. I'm sorry that it hurts, and I'm sorry that we couldn't have gotten to it not hurting any sooner. But from now on, all of that is over." I nod just a little bit.

"How much does Robin know?"

"Only whatever you've told him."

"Good." I'm not ready to confront anything else. I really do want it to be over. Maybe I'll just close the lid on all of that. Maybe I'll just pretend it never happened.

"It's only the very least I could do, but I got you a laptop to pass your time, Netflix and Hulu are already logged in, and the wifi is logged in, just be careful with your right hand and do what you like. I have a lot to do but people will be in to check on you, as will I. If you need anything, there's a bell, by your bed. Can you reach it?" How pretentious it felt, to have a bell to ring when you wanted help. I felt like an ugly stepsister, and it almost made me laugh. I reached the bell fairly easy, and began to explore my new computer. I opened Netflix as he left and browsed my favorite movies, choosing Coco and settling in. It would appear as if I have a lot of time to kill.


	56. Soh Cah Toa and more interesting things

Chapter 52-Kori

I had only been in American school for a few days before I ran with Beast Boy. I had not noticed that there were a lot of boys who didn't look at your eyes here. There were some big, tall boys who had been talking to Robin and when they passed me, they glanced not at my eyes but below them. And some people touched as they passed.

I quickly rediscovered that I do not like American School. Aside from lookers and touchers, I just felt bored and distant. My mind was contemplating the revolution I'd quelled and the duties I still had as Queen. In this scenario, it did not feel completely necessary to know Soh Cah Toa. Instead, I doodled in my school notebooks, finding myself etching the face of my sister, the former Queen of Tamaran. Though the route she went was unthinkable, when the Queen she could have been comes to mind, I know I will have a hard time filling her shoes.

On the other side of the coin, there are somethings that I enjoy here. I like the food very much, and the little library with books, and the little class which is mostly about books. I enjoy very much this learning of words. It's like dancing through the English language. I pay so much attention, that the loud go away bell catches me off guard. I begin to gather my things into my bag, and my math notebook falls, open to Komand'r. Someone stoops down and picks up the notebook, giving me a smile.

"Nice drawing," the male said, handing me my notebook.

"Thank you," I put the notebook in my backpack and zipped, walking out of the class towards another class. The helpful shaggy haired boy followed a few steps back.

"I'm Carson."

"I'm Kori." I stand very straight, royal.

"There's an art club that meets every Tuesday at 4. You should come."

"Oh, okay."

"Room 235," Carson added, and then walked away. Tomorrow I would go to this art club with my new comrade Carson. I was very interested in art club because art was a special part of

Tamaran. My people made monuments and murals to those who had come before. People were considered works of art, and paint told more stories than the printed page, an under-utilized medium in my storytelling kingdom. I thought already of the wonderful stories of this United ground that I could return with as Queen. Maybe in art club I would learn more stories to take home. Then I would be valued as ruler, and warrior, and storyteller. I was also excited to bring to them American books. The stories I danced through in my favorite class.

I went home with my friends. Raven was quiet because that is what Raven is. Cyborg and I talked. I told him about art club. Robin seemed to be in a different world. I think his mind swirled with worries about Beast Boy. I think that he wishes that Beast Boy hadn't run. I can almost see his thoughts unraveled as if he and I were mind speaking. He would think that if Beast Boy had not run with me, Beast Boy would not be so unhappily injured. But Beast Boy did run. And he and Robin became friends once more. And we all began to be able to change the world. And I have found something that I very much believe is love with Robin.

I am worried for Robin as he is worried for Beast Boy. I am worried because Robin is tear-his-hair-out sad. I care so much for Robin that I just would like to see him smile. So I open his door after his father leaves. Robin is very far away from smiling. Tears are streaming down his face. I go over in concern and alarm.

"Robin! What is the cause for your weeping?" His room had many boxes and I wondered if he was upset because of the boxes, and what secrets were held. Maybe he would not want me to be there, partaking in his many secrets. He stands up but his legs are shaky so I go to him instead.

"Star, do you remember when I told you my parents died?"

"Yes," I take his hand and squeeze it. His voice wavers like he is not strong enough for the words that come next, but I know my Robin is very strong.

"I just found out how they died." Now our hand hold turns into a hug, so that he can find the strength and hope that surely is in him.

"You don't have to tell me, Robin." We could just hug. He nods.

"All these boxes were theirs. Maybe you could help me go through them." I think it will do good for him to interact with these pieces of his past. Make him smile again. I hope so.

"Oh yes Robin!" We break away and he grabs a box. Squatting criss cross, he opens it.

"Books," He says.

"The insides say they're books my parents gave each other. Oh, this one must have been mine." He flips through a picture book and I take up another box.

"What is your mother's name?"

"Mary Grayson."

"She liked art." I tell him, holding up sketches. I hold on to the images in my mind, thinking about recreating the pretty designs. He takes the box from my hands and sifts through them, smiling.

"I could frame these…"

"You should," I encourage, taking another box. It has some clothes, and we look through it. Robin laughs a little at the outdated fashion. Then sad enters his voice.

"I will never know the story behind any of these." I touch his hand.

"Maybe there doesn't need to be a story. It could be that two people lived and loved you very much, knowing you would have your own story." Robin reaches out and hugs me.

"Thank you, Star. For everything. I should have done this earlier."

"Done what-" He answers by pressing his lips against my lips. It is my favorite answer. I answer the same.


	57. School Spirit

**I included a mention of the Parkland shooting because we're approaching the one year anniversary as well as the fact that in the story it would have been a recent event, as this part of the story is set in March of 2018. I mean no disrespect in referencing, I understand the tragedy and appreciate the activism.**

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Chapter 53- Victor

There was a lot of stuff going on in my mind when I started back at school. Like having sold my house, or my dad being in prison, or the fact that I was going into a high school covered in weaponry a little bit less than a month after the Parkland shooting. I didn't exactly feel inconspicuous or heroic. But people were used to machine me. They didn't have any reason to suspect that I had weaponry I wasn't fully sure I could control. All I knew was it would be my first priority when I got back to Wayne Manor to get these things under control. I didn't want to be the cause of another tragedy, another stereotype, another Stone put behind bars. I couldn't be. With great power comes great responsibility, right?

That was another thing on my mind, not Spiderman, but Terra. Terra might've been the closest thing to a Spider-Gwen that would ever be available to me. Though the only similarity between them was that both were blond, Terra got my heart racing the way only an imaginary romance with Gwen Stacy had before. I might have been crushing hard on this girl, and finding her again might have consumed my thoughts. I tried to push it out of my head and focus in on the school work I missed out on, but running away felt like it taught me more than any pre-cal ever had. Sitting through class made me miss the group dynamic I'd started developing with the others. I was looking forward to getting back to Wayne Manor.

There were a few interruptions to keep me from the day's end. Like when I was surrounded by my old teammates from the football team. I nearly flinched. Even though I was a part of the team, I'd never been one of them. Many of them didn't like me because they thought my robotics discredited any football skills I had. Some didn't like me because they had an unspoken fear of the robot uprising. I don't think any of them but Coach looked happy to see me back here. I think he'd always liked me, or at least felt bad for me.

"Victor, so good to see you." Coach Sanders said.

"It's good to see you too," I said, not sure if I meant it.

"The boys and I wanted to let you know that there's still a spot for you on the team."

"Thank you, really, but I think I'll pass. Go Titans!" He nodded and slapped me on the shoulder regardless., hand clanking on metal.

"Well, you should still come to the games. And you should come to the candlelight vigil we're having on the football field tomorrow night at 8 for Gar Logan." I bite my cheek to hold back laughter.

"I have a lot to catch up on, so I might not be able to come." I'd rather spend tomorrow night with the living Gar Logan than listen to people who were never able to stand him talk about how sad his death is to them. I think Gar will find it funny too.

There's a courtyard in the back of Wayne Manor, and I head out there right after school. I hadn't taken the time to get my weapons under control, so it was my first priority. I didn't want to be responsible for hurting anyone else. I still felt responsible for hurting the police officer, though it was no longer being held against me. I had to get better with the weapons forced upon me. If I don't figure this out I will never be able to fully trust myself around others. Superheroes don't just hurt innocent people, and I refuse to let myself do that again. I focus in on my tech and try to figure out how to unlock it. If I know for certain how to unlock it I can make sure that I don't do it on accident. I start with the sonic cannon. Hand lasers are next. I am not going inside until I trust myself again. When I figure out the cannon I let my mind wander. There's still a thousand thoughts going through my head. Above everything else, I keep asking why. I want to understand why my dad made me like this. Why he equipped me with a sonic cannon and hand lasers and a machine gun. It all seems arbitrary, unnecessary, and frantic. I keep trying to reach an explanation. To paint my father as less of a maniac and more of the distant but loving man I remember. In remembering I'm able to figure it out. At least in part. Like he said, he wanted to keep me safe. His methods were drastic and no doubt questionable, but for the person my father is, they couldn't help but make total sense. My father is a drastic person. The only thing in life he ever wanted was to keep his family safe. Being unable to save mom drove him crazy, so he did crazy things. I don't necessarily forgive him for everything, but I've never been fully capable of hating him for what he's done either.

I move on to hand lasers, careful not to destroy anything outside of Wayne Manor. I practice firing, changing the size of the laser, and keeping the beam steading. I write my name in singed grass and think about the other things I recently stumbled upon. This morning before classes Mr. Wayne pulled me aside and told me what he intended to do with my house. He described turning it into a headquarters and training center for this little band of misfits. He seemed so serious and so invested in helping us get our team off of the ground. He talked about how he remembered how hard it was to become a hero by yourself and hoped that he could be a mentor and sponsor for us as we used our powers for good. It was so exciting to realize that this was coming together. When we were on the run it seemed like it was just a vague dream. Now it was becoming a reality. Now we'll have a place to train and become a team. We've already become a family. Mr. Wayne said construction should be done by summer because Mr. Wayne can pull those kinds of strings. I go inside, spirits lifted and weapons more under control.


	58. Present

Chapter 54-Rachel

Rachel Roth was invisible in the back of the classroom, if she was there at all. I had already decided that Raven wasn't like that. As tempting as it was to slip off to the library, I'd never been missed, I'd never gotten marked absent even when I ran away, the first day back I refused. My head was still swirling with thoughts. I think the word legacy runs through my head a hundred times in an hour. Because I am my mother's legacy I have to be someone who doesn't just disappear from the back of the classroom.

I begin in my first class of the day. My name gets called as it always is. I never respond, they never notice or never care. But today…

"Rachel Roth?"

"Here. And I go by Raven now." It's not as scary as I thought it would be. After everything that's happened, recently and long ago, I can't believe that I was ever afraid of being present. People look back at me, a little surprised, and I remember who I am and what I can do, trying not to flinch away from the stares. If I'm going to live up to this legacy then I need to get used to stares, and I need to get used to being present. I try not to get anxious now that they see me. I try not to self destruct. I sit with Cyborg at lunch and it's obvious that he feels the same. Starfire seems to understand her powers, but he and I are stranded on this island of fear. We're dangerous. We don't talk about it. We don't act like there's something almost ominous in coming back to this school. Everything is different now, but we talk at lunch like it's the same. Robin and Star have a different lunch, so it's just us two, like normal. We talk about the same things we talked about before we ran away. We talk about literary worlds and favorite characters. It's sort of nice to have this small bit of a normality.

After school I hide away in the room I was given and focus on my powers. On the one hand, I need to master my powers, but on the other hand, I might just be avoiding Gar. I'm not just avoiding him, though, I'm avoiding his emotions and misery. He's not in a good place right now, and it's all I can do to not feel it. I'm scared to see him hurting, especially after what I've already felt from him. I find out within moments of being back in Wayne Manor that Gar isn't the only one sending off waves of pain. For reasons I am not brave enough to ask about, Robin is reeling with sorrow. I read a similar sorrow from him yesterday, at the funeral. I understand the fear for Gar as he recovers, but I denied myself any mourning for someone who wasn't really dead. I think the funeral really affected Robin and Cyborg, though. I think that they really let themselves forget it wasn't real.

I try to forget everything. All the tiring emotions swirling around. I try to focus solely on the meditation, and the memories of my mother that steady me in the storm. I try to ignore the fear and the anger and the sadness that I've been harboring since we ran away. But then I remember what Jack taught me. To become familiar with my emotions and learn how to control them. I repeat the meditation over and over again and stumble through my childhood. Through my happy times with my mom, my sorrow at her death, and the fear I felt about my dad. And then I drifted a little further into my memories, and I pull away from my meditation, get up, and go to Cyborg's room.

"Hey, do you remember how we met?" I asked when he opened the door. He leaned against the door, appearing to have been working on several days of late homework. I could tell because he had that disgruntled look on his face. I knew he'd chew through the work like it was no problem, but that didn't meant he liked it.

"Course I do." He said, instinctively ruffling my hair like we were still little kids.

"I never said thank you for that." I felt a little embarrassed that I'd known him since I was a little kid and I'd never once said thank you for all he's done for me.

"Hey, you don't have to. My dad orchestrated the whole thing anyway. He told me I was moping too much, and that other people were having a hard Christmas too." If I remembered right, it was a little more than a year after he lost his mom and had all those surgeries. I was four, he was five. It was in my first few months with Jack. We'd both felt loss and were having a hard time.

"Jack was interning for my dad at the time, I guess. And so my dad knew the situation and wanted me to do something for you. He treated me like I was an adult even when I was five, expected me to come up with something. But I was five and all I could think about was Christmas and things. So I asked him if we couldn't give you a present." I had held my hands behind my back, though he was taller and smart enough to guess what was hidden. I revealed the little toy car that he and his father had thought I would want. I guess neither of them really knew what girls liked, but it wasn't like I was a Barbie type person. I never owned one. Maybe I used to want one, but Jack, Victor, and Mr. Stone had no clue, so I never ended up getting a Barbie. Instead, I got a little car with wheels that spin, and a proud looking new best friend who thought he had just given me the best present ever.

"You kept it?"

"Yeah, of course, this little car was given to me by my best friend." I don't often call him my best friend, but I think he saved my life, back then, so he deserves the title. And he gives me that same proud smile from so long ago.


	59. Running

Chapter 55-Richard

My girlfriend has art club so I wait for her. Well, I don't wait for her. I run the track around the football field. The football team doesn't have practice today because they're getting ready for the vigil. They don't, then, see me running the track like I expect that if I stop I'll die. I don't run because I think I'll die, though. I run because I'm stuck in this cycle of thinking that Gar might. I run because he was always faster than me. I run because I haven't trained in weeks. I run because I didn't teach him how to fight. I run because it's all my fault. I trip after about a mile. Then I perch in the bleachers and kill time until five, my mind busied with thoughts.

I'm thinking about a lot of people. I'm thinking about Kori, Gar, and John and Mary. I went through all the boxes last night, even after Kori left to do homework. What I didn't do was homework, and I admit it's been a little hard since coming back to keep up with school. I never meant to run away, and now readjusting is a little hard. I should have done homework, but it was hard to stop going through the boxes when I started. I just wanted to be as close to them as I possibly could be. I replayed what dad told me in my mind as I tried to piece together their lives from remnants. Then I found a little box with a diamond ring, and at 1 in the morning I knew in my heart that I was going to propose to Starfire. Not now, probably not even soon. We've only been on one date, though tonight's fit to change that. I'm going to introduce her to Gotham, the way she showed me Tamaran. And then we're going to go to the vigil.

Mindlessly, I begin doing homework. I know I won't want to after the vigil. I know I'm going to be a wreck after that. When I told Star about going to the candlelight vigil she told me about art club and promised I wouldn't have to go to the vigil alone. I haven't had the chance to talk to Gar since yesterday morning, and I'm still feeling a little anxious about it. I know he's alive! I know that. But to see him so weak and hurt makes me feel like I'm going to lose him. And I still can't help thinking that I could have and should have prevented it. The guilt trails me everywhere I go. I can't help thinking that mourning the living might somehow help. Maybe I'm mourning our friendship how it used to be or crying over the fact I let him be dead to me for nearly six years. Either way, I know there are tears left to cry.

I halt in my homework when I hit a snag, knowing I have smarter friends who will help me out. It's almost five anyways, so I head towards room 235 and wait for my girlfriend. She comes out talking and laughing with someone I recognize as a former member of the football team and a former friend. He lost his chance on the team because of Gar and joined me in harboring a grudge. He also joined Art club, but I guess I forgot that. And now he is very clearly flirting with my girlfriend. I step from the shadows and take her hand.

"Hey Kori, hey Carson. You going to the vigil tonight?" I knew what he'd say. I wanted Kori to look at him differently.

"For Gar Logan? Not a chance. I don't want to listen to people say he shouldn't have died." Even though I knew he'd act this cocky and disrespectful, I still try to not get angry. Kori frowns.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"He was a waste of space. Everyone was just waiting for him to crack." He shoots me a look. I'm angry until I remember that I was that kind of person not too long ago. The worst kind of person, just a few days ago.

"That's not very nice." Kori snapped. I hadn't seen her snap before, but her eyes were glowing angry green, and her face was contorted in anger. I squeezed her hand to try to keep her calm. Carson shrugged.

"He was my friend." Kori said.

"Kori, it's okay. Carson and Gar weren't friends. We should head out." It's a little terrifying to see her so mad. She snorts angrily and we walk off. Carson looks mad at me. But I'm not sorry. He tried to steal my girlfriend. He glares at me as we head out. Kori is still upset even then.

We walked around Gotham, grabbing a bite to eat at a hole in the wall Greek place. She talks about art club and says she liked it, but her face darkens when she mentions Carson. So I do him a favor and attempt to explain that point of view.

"When Gar started last year as a freshman, he took a spot on the football team, and certain players, like myself and later Carson, got kicked off the team. Because Gar didn't play or even practice we were kind of mad at him. My anger came from a lot of places, fear of losing my best friend and the distance I put between us, as well as other things. Carson's anger came from fear as well. He has three older brothers, all of them athletes, and I think he worried that he would never make his family proud if him if he didn't play football. He worked really hard to be good enough and he resented Gar for having something without working for it. I used to be friends with Carson, and I admit we were pretty mean towards Gar." I hate admitting that. I hate seeing how disappointed she looks.

"But I'm sorry. I know now that I was taking it too far. Carson didn't realize that." Kori kissed my cheek.

"As long as you've apologized to Gar, I'm still proud of you." That fills me up inside. I kiss her lips, wondering why I hadn't started sooner.

The vigil is quiet, solemn, and respectful. A few people say some thing s, but I'm not able to. I'm distracted by thoughts of going home and checking on Gar.

I knock on the door when I get back. I hear laughing on the other side of the door and come in to see Victor and Gar joking around.

"Hey, Gar, you know what part of school you miss the most?"

"Uh, let's see… My "friends" on the football team? The cheerleaders that wanted to date me? The cafeteria food that wasn't vegetarian inclusive?"

"I was going to say homework. Can you help me with these geometry problems?" Gar laughed and gestured me over, and we took a crack at it.


	60. Denial number four

Chapter 56-Gar

I had four wingmen all week trying to get Raven to come to visit me. Cyborg, Robin, Starfire even Mr. Wayne asked her to visit me. I understand being afraid. I remember how terrified I was to go into see my parents when they got sick. But the last time we talked she told me to be careful, and I wasn't careful enough. Maybe she's mad at me. I know I'd be worried, but I don't think I'd be mad. I was worried enough when Robin said that Raven nearly got shot. I don't know what I'd do if she was hurt right now.

None of my wingmen managed to get Raven to come to talk to me, but she didn't stay away for forever. I'd been watching a lot of movies, but I'd also found audiobooks on YouTube that I've been putting on in the background. It's been about a week since it happened. My bruises and cuts have faded and I have The Titan's Curse playing in the background. I'm admittedly a little bored when there's a knock at the door.

"Come in!" I call, assuming it's Robin or Star or Cyborg. I'm wrong.

"Raven!" I light up, forgetting my injuries for a moment.

"Hey, I didn't want you to think I've been avoiding you."

"I get it. I'm sure you were just worried."

"Yeah." She shifted awkwardly and I decided that it was up to me to steer our conversation.

"How was school?"

"It was okay. It's different now that I'm going to the classes." She let out an awkward laugh, clearly not used to this kind of thing.

"Did you not go to classes before?" I asked, a little surprised. I know that I might as well have skipped classes, I was so apathetic in all of them. I'd kill to be back in school now. I mean, all I've been doing lately is listening to music and audiobooks. I turn off The Titan's Curse and click on my pop-punk playlist in the background, Ode to sleep beginning to play and Tyler Joseph becoming a third voice in our conversation.

"Not really. I used to hide out in the library." I smile for a second, and then I blush without meaning to. She makes me feel so nervous, I have to do everything in my power not to shapeshift because that would hurt so much.

"I wish I'd known that was where you were." My face is on fire.

"Oh? Why?" She knows I have a crush on her. She knows that. And I know from our dumpster fire of a truth or dare game that she doesn't know how to feel about me.

"I would have spent more time with you." Her face reddens too.

"I have been avoiding you." She said suddenly. I don't say anything, I knew she was, I wasn't mad at her. I wait for her to elaborate.

"I've been avoiding seeing you hurt, and I've been trying to avoid… How can I explain this." She paces a little, concentrating.

"Do you want to sit?" I offered her the space on my bed that my friends have been occupying all week. She reluctantly sat down, and I remembered talking books with her, blushing again.

"You have very strong emotions."

"Huh?"

"I think I'm an empath. I think that can read the emotions of others and yours are just so strong… When you're in pain, I hurt so much for you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"How could you have known? I don't want you to apologize for your emotions, I'm happy that you have emotions. It's just when I'm around you I feel different. And it's good, but I'm scared." She was rambling, and it was adorable. I lost my breath for a second.

"You know I like you." I blurt. Now we're both really, really blushing. She nodded.

"Are you scared of that?" It's a stupid question. You don't ask people their deepest darkest fears. Not if you barely know them. But I feel like I've known her for a really long time.

"I guess so. I guess I am afraid of that. Because," She looks down, rubs her face, "I care about you, okay?"

"Okay." I'm surprised, stunned even, that she'd admit it. I knew she cared. I never thought she'd say it though.

"I don't know what that means yet. I'm trying to figure it out. This is the first time I've had a lot of friends. It's so different now, and I promise I'll let you know when I figure everything out."

"Okay. Until you do, do you just want to hang out? We could watch a movie. Cyborg left me with his whole collection of Marvel movies."

"I'm down to watch Spiderman: Homecoming." Leaning against the bed frame, Raven got comfortable next to me.

"If I could be any superhero, it would be Spiderman." I decided, slipping the DVD in from the stack of movies by my bed. If my wrist hadn't been broken I would have held her hand. It's such a small thing, but it's my favorite thing to do. She mulls the concept over before chiming in.

"If I could be any superhero, I'd be Scarlet Witch."

"You'd make a good Scarlet Witch. She's strong and brave, and she's never had it easy." Raven looks at me, really looks. Our eyes are locked. For a second, I think we're going to kiss. But then she looks away, blushing.

"The movie's about to start." She whispers, and we focus on Spiderman, laughing at Tom Holland's jokes and fumbles, exchanging trivia that Cyborg must have told us a thousand times already. Our eyes are focused on the movie, but I have to glance away for just one second when I realize her head now rests against my shoulder. She can take as long as she needs figuring out what we are if there are going to be quiet moments like these.


	61. Trust & Thorns

Chapter 57-Kori

There's a garden behind the house and I sit there alone. I had to ask to be alone because Robin and I very much like spending time with each other. We went on a date Tuesday, and we talked and we talked, and he makes talking something special and exciting and new. He makes talking feel like something no one else has thought to do before because it's so different with him.

I had to ask to be alone because I know that I want to spend time today with Raven and Cyborg and Robin and Beast Boy but for now, I have a great lot of work to do. So I must be alone.

Amid the flowers and the roses and all the pretty for show things in Mr. Wayne's garden I sit on a bench and make a very long distance phone call to my home. Over the phone I must talk in common Tamaran. The language feels smooth on my tongue, much easier to wield than English, the language I am only beginning to love for its difficulties. I speak with my advisors and they tell me of the problems. They are still cleaning up after my sister. The dungeon, formally full of loyal subjects, now begins to fill with the ever-increasing numbers of people loyal to an evil Queen.

"We are under attack from her remaining rebels every day." I am told. I shake with anger.

"The people are doubting who is in charge because the rebels persist. They don't know who it is safe to be loyal to. We need our Queen." I can't help it. It has been building and now I weep. I think of my mother and how she and father ruled, how I should echo them, how I cannot. I think about my sister and how strong a leader she was, though she misused her strength and authority. I think about how if I were a fraction of any of them perhaps my Tamaran would not be crumbling still. I think about the expectations that they have for me here and how I continue to fail to meet them.

"Queen Koriand'r?" The advisor asks as I am only able to sob.

"I do not know what to do," I explain, humiliated and small.

"Until we have a more definitive answer we will continue to deal with the rebellion as we have been. I hope more drastic measures will not be required before we reach a decision." I am so scared, knowing fully that I am not ready to rule. I let the call end and walk around the garden, not knowing how to handle this alone. I know that I have a panel of advisors waiting to help me on that end, and a family of friends to support me on this end. Yet as Queen Koriand'r I feel so alone. And then I hear a strange sound, and allow myself to be distracted from my sorrow.

I follow the sound to a bush. It does not sound completely human but it does sound very sad and angry, feelings I understand very well now. In the bush there is a small gray kitten, tangled up in thorns and furious about the fact, crying out. As if it were saying, "Help me! Help me! I can't be alone anymore!" I reach through the thorns, not wary of hurting myself, the kitten needs help. It seems frightened when it sees me, but then it accepts the help I offer and I free it from its thorny bondage. I lift the kitten to my chest and hear it purr. There were cats in the palace, but they preferred my parents and ran from me. This kitten does not try to struggle or run. Its coat reminds me of the color of thunder clouds, and so I decide to name it Storm. Continuing to keep Storm close, I take it inside to someone I know needs a little friend just as much.

Beast Boy and I spent two days together alone when we first ran away and in that time told each other almost everything we could have. He left out his illness and Robin, I left out my fears for my kingdom. But we talked about much else, and so he told me about his connection with animals. He mentioned how for five years that Victor and his little pets had been his only friends. I knew that in his tired, recovering state that he could use another such pet. And Storm would do him a world of good. Of course, Gar would do a lot for the angsty little kitty as well. I tried to sneak Storm in, whispering for the furball to stop purring. I wanted the cat to be a surprise just for Beast Boy.

Unfortunately for the surprise, Robin is a little bit clingy. I don't think he knows that, but he clings to the people he loves with the fear of losing them. He clings to his father, to Gar, to me. He is sitting on Gar's bed and they are watching a movie when I slip in with the kitten behind my back. He looks up and smiles at me.

"You want to join us? We're watching Home."

"Okay, but I have a present for Beast Boy first." Beast Boy looks a little surprised, looking up and pausing the movie.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Star."

"I found it for you," I helpfully explain, going over. Gar smiles and holds out his unhurt hand. I reveal the kitten, and his eyes go big.

"This is Storm." He examines the kitten, who immediately and fervently loves him, gently stroking Storm's little head.

"He's beautiful," Gar breathes, enamored. I did not know for sure if Storm was a boy or not but Gar knows because Gar knows animals.

"You like him?" I am smiling now. My weeping is gone because I was able to bring comfort and support to a friend. I do not know if when Robin looks at me he sees that I was almost crying. If he sees he keeps quiet, and I'm happy about that. I would like to focus on Beast Boy and Storm and the friendship they are beginning. I see my friend and the cat I and I remember that I was able to help both to trust when trusting was hard. Each had been hurt, been trapped by thorns, but they let me help them. They trusted me. If I can help these two learn to trust again, I can do the same for my Tamaran. I will do the same for my Tamaran.


	62. Tiff7Forever

Chapter 58- Victor

It isn't really like me to spend Saturdays alone. I know I'm technically not alone, the house is full of people, but I spend at least half of the day holed up with a computer. Before I ran away I would spend Saturdays with Gar or Rachel, because I didn't love being alone in a big house and I knew that those two, above anyone else in my life, needed someone looking out for them on the weekends. I'll be 100% honest, I'm not sure that Rachel and Gar would have always eaten on the weekend if I didn't check in on each of them at least once. I knew there was a reason that I was never invited to either of their places. But now I don't think I have to worry about that, I have the loathsome luxury of loneliness and a mission at hand. I'm going to try to find Terra.

My investigations start out fruitless, but the further I dug, the more I found out about the girl who caught my attention. Tara Markov six years ago begins to show how she became the Terra of today. I saw something from early 2012 that someone who had gone to elementary school with her had posted. Some petty little thing on DeviantArt that exposed little fourth grade Tara. It aggravated me that people would air dirty laundry just to be bullies, but I couldn't exactly get mad at a ten-year-old who had probably grown up since. So I apprehensively began to read Tiff7Forever's account of what destroyed Tara Markov.

There were a few DeviantArt journals of the rumors mixed with facts, and comment threads of slander, building Tara up to be this mythic outcast as if she were an urban legend rather than flesh and blood. The bully even posted poor quality pictures sneakily taken of Tara… And Tara's bruises. I read the story that Tiff7Forever had put together, about a mom who died of drug overdose and an abusive father who had beaten Tara brutally, more than once leaving her in critical condition. Tara would always lie about it, giving him excuses. Say that she fell. There's only so many times that someone could fall, at least that's what Tiff7Forever accused. Then Tiff7Forever cited a friend with a neighbor of the Markovs who had heard a lot of yelling and fighting. Then the author detailed more of the crazy stories Tara would tell when she came to school with bruises and cuts, stories that got crazier and crazier as Tara got closer to tears. There were a couple of updates after that about how aggressive Tara had gotten when these posts had gone up and mean comments defaming Tara, and then something explosive happened to close out the saga.

It was a little shocking that a little kid would post this about someone, but I couldn't stop reading, even though my gasp was audible and tears stung my eyes. The villain I'd begun to despise, the villain portrayed, the malevolent Mr. Markov was someone I could still find it in me to mourn when the word crossed the page, "Tara's father killed himself, and Tara Markov was never seen again." I wanted to just hate him, but I couldn't hate Mr. Markov anymore than I could hate my own father. Not for the lack of the reasons to hate him, but only because I knew how easy it was to slip up. I'd watched my father slip down a dangerous path. Mr. Markov was to be blamed for much of what had happened to Tara, but his life was still a life. It broke my heart to see Tiff7Forever write that Tara Markov disappeared after that. I knew, though, that Terra had risen in her place. Tara Markov might have been gone forever, but I still believed that I could save Terra if I ever got the chance.

The trail fell cold after DeviantArt, except one article that didn't mention Terra by name. It was the first time since running away that I'd thought to search up anything surrounding the explosion. It was so burned into my mind, and yet it felt removed from reality. Sometimes it slipped my mind that other people were affected by the explosion as well, so I shouldn't have been surprised to see an article about what happened on a local blog site, but it caught me off guard. I scanned the article casually until something caught my eye, mentioning earthquakes after the explosion that were probably unrelated. I shivered, remembering seeing her powers for the first time back in California. I remember wanting to help her control it. I still do, I still want to protect her, to save her, now more than ever. Maybe I'm head over heels smitten, but I know this much, I have to do what I can for Terra. If I'm going to be a hero, I want to save her first.

It's been quite a morning, and I need something a little more positive after all of that. I decide to pursue heroics in what way I can by seeing Mr. Wayne about the house renovations. I hope it'll be a happy distraction, I feel a little bad not checking in on my friends, but all of them are going through so much heavy stuff, I need something to look forward to. A superhero HQ is really just the thing.

Mr. Wayne seems to be working on house plans when I find him and beckons me over.

"Victor, just the man I wanted to see!" He's so warm for someone who defends the city ruthlessly. So fatherly. He calls me man instead of kid even though I'm still just 17. My own dad didn't even respect me that much. I can tell that Batman knows what my father did not, how to be caring without being condescending. I really appreciated that about him, and it made me smile for the first time that day. I sit next to him when he beckons.

"I am so incredibly excited to see the extent of everyone's abilities. Gotham's never really had super-powered vigilantes, typically it's just me. But you five have a bright future." I can't help but beam.

"Thank you, sir."

"There will be a high tech garage and lab adapted from your father's workspace, and a customized training facility on every personal floor as well as an outdoor training area for everyone. Custom rooms for each member, a guest floor with a couple of rooms, and a common area with a kitchen and living room." His excitement is contagious, and for a while I'm simply able to forget weightier matters and focus on this dream.


	63. Daddy-Daughter Date

Chapter 59-Rachel

Don't do this. That was the first thought I had. Don't do this. Go to Jack. Read the journal. Ask anyone else. Don't do this. Don't go to Trigon. I hated myself for deciding to visit my dad in prison. When Cyborg had visited his dad, it did not go so well. Cyborg had gotten very, very angry, understandably. But Cyborg's anger didn't trigger the powers mine does. And I know that if I confront Trigon… Well, I will get angry. Trigon was beyond evil, and there's never been a single time when I didn't regret talking to him. I thought about asking Cyborg to come, but he'd get angry as well. Best if I go alone? I'm admittedly terrified.

I'm one caring caregiver away from having a driver's license since you can imagine that Jack never bothered to teach me. I don't exactly hold that against him though. He never asked to have child rearing shoved on him. It just happened. So I missed out on learning how to drive and every daddy-daughter date Chick-fil-A ever hosted, and YouTube taught me how to braid my hair the way my mother had before I cut and dyed it so I'd stop being reminded of her. It worked, I don't see her when I look in the mirror anymore. But she's still inside of me. And that's what gives me the courage to go ask Mr. Wayne for a ride to the prison.

Victor has gushed about Mr. Wayne and how nice he is and how fatherly he's been. Vic's looking to fill that hole though, and I am not. Just because I've warmed up to having a family doesn't mean I'm looking for a father figure. I'm a little wary about that kind of thing. I know Mr. Wayne is nice though, I just feel awkward talking to him.

"Raven, hello! We haven't gotten the chance to talk much. Did you need something?" Robin was in the corner, working on homework or something as if he and his father had just been doing their work together… Just to spend quiet time together. He looked up at me and smiled, giving me a nod. I looked at Mr. Wayne.

"I want to talk to my father in prison. Could I get a ride there?"

"Are you sure, Raven? Your father is a dangerous man-"

"I know that," I say abruptly, gathering my courage as best I could, "I'm sure about this. I think he has answers." I don't admit that I don't know what I'm going to ask him. I want to ask him about mom, but I know I wouldn't dare. Maybe I'll ask him about the cult, about what he did to me, the machine he used to unlock my powers and the powers he put inside me. I don't know if I've unlocked the full extent of my powers. It kills me that he might be the only one who knows the full extent of what I can do. I don't want to talk to him, and I definitely don't want to rely on him.

"Just this once, I think I need to talk to him face to face."

"Okay, if that's your decision, I support it. I know you can handle yourself, and I'll drive you to the prison," Mr. Wayne says, standing up. Robin leaps up and puts a hand on his dad's arm.

"Can I drive Raven?" I look between them, debating in my mind. To be honest, I kind of would rather have Robin driving. I know Robin. I trust Robin. I trust Mr. Wayne as well, but he isn't family, it isn't the same.

"Yeah," I say. I don't know how he knows that I'd be more comfortable with him than I would be with his dad. But of the two, Robin knows who my father is and what he's done to me. Robin is familiar with exactly why this hurts. He's removed enough to not get as angry as Cyborg would, but close enough to be there to care.

"Thanks, Robin."

"Okay, you two be careful." Mr. Wayne turns back to his work and Robin and I head out. I will not break down in front of him, I know that much. Not again. I can't, not again…

Robin and I don't talk on the drive there. He promises me he'll wait in the car while I go in and talk to my dad, and I go in, steeling myself for this interaction. I'm not prepared for this. Honestly, nothing could have prepared me for this, not a thousand talks with Jack, not a million journals from my mom, not even years of practice with my new found powers. I wish I could prepare myself for this, but there's no possible way. The only thing I can do is do it.

This is my second time visiting someone in prison, and I've got to say that I'm still not a fan. Mr. Stone was one thing, but Trigon… My father… He's so much more of a monster. I'm not ready for this. Yet I find myself sitting across from him like this is an everyday occurrence like we're sitting down for a family meal instead of a prison interrogation. Not that I have any distinct memories of family meals. Sometimes I ate with Cyborg and his dad, more often just me and Cyborg, most often just me. Now, it's just me.

"Rachel, you finally came around," He's grinning like a psychopath. I hate how he looks at me. I hate how my chakra seems to burn when I'm near him. I shift in my seat.

"I'm not here to join you, Trigon." I'm doing my best to calm my anger and my fear. I'm doing my best to keep the shadows inside. Somehow, he knows that.

"It's your destiny, Rachel. To join me. Your mother, she almost had the right idea. She almost took it all the way. Her powers were so strong, but the emotions they were tied to, I'm afraid they destroyed her." I nearly lose it. I'm gonna lose it. The shadows swarm at my feet.

"You destroyed my mother, not her emotions."

"That's the right idea, sweetheart! Your anger, it's more powerful than your mother's ever was. We'd make a good team."

"No, I'll never join you, I just need to know what you did to me!"

"What I did was set you free! I gave you the strength to move mountains. And, I'm trying to give you your family back. My sweet little girl, you're growing up so fast. I've missed you. I've wanted to make things right for so long. I knew once I could unleash your chakra you'd see, you need me. And I need you. We're a family. Together, we could be strong, and not let the weakness that afflicted your mother get to us."

"Her only weakness was you! You're a monster and a sadist! And we will NEVER be a family!" The room began to shake around me, and I stood, trying to run before the shadows consumed everything.

"Never say never, Rachel."

"That's not my name, and you are not my family." And then, I leave him behind, with no more answers than when I started.


	64. Get Good

Chapter 60-Richard

On a whim, I had decided to drive Raven to the prison. Because I could tell she didn't feel completely comfortable around my dad. I mean, Raven didn't exactly have the greatest father figure, and so she probably doesn't know what it feels like to be unconditionally loved and accepted. And I'm not gonna force her to learn. I'm just gonna be there for her and for the others, to show as much quiet unconditional love as I can.

When she comes out of the prison, I see that things are very much not okay. She's… Well, she's crying, but in addition to that, shadows are swirling around her. I'm surprised that no one is giving her weird looks. Raven's like a sister to me, and I definitely do not know how to have a sister. Say I'm having a bad day, come home from school and I'm upset, my dad is like, do you want to go train? And then we go train. And I always feel better. I don't think Raven would want to go train. And frankly, I'm terrified to go toe to toe with her. She looks like she could kill a guy right now.

"I take it the talk didn't go very well?" I ask as she gets into my car. I got this car last year when I turned 16 and I have to say, I love the thing. Sometimes I sit in here just to sit and to think when everything in the world gets too distracting. She slams the door, and I feel a little bad for my car.

"He's infuriating."

"I know."

"I can't take it anymore! Someone needs to put him in his place."

"And we will. Once we're more cohesive as a team. Once we have more control." She takes a moment to calm down, and the shadows dissipate. Good.

"Hey, I can't promise that I can make you feel better, and I can't tell you I know what you're going through, but… Do you want to get some ice cream?" Girls like ice cream right? She looks at me. Maybe girls don't like ice cream….

"Okay," She said, surprising me.

"I'm sorry, I'm not really good at this kind of thing…." I apologize for my awkwardness.

"Amen," she laughed.

"So, ice cream?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"You don't have to talk about what happened, if you want, we don't have to talk at all."

"It's okay if we talk. Just, maybe not about Trigon."

"Sounds good." I want to ask her if he had answers but I don't want to push her. Not if she's not ready.

"Cyborg has been teaching me how to play videogames. I am really, really bad at Mario Kart," I tell her.

"Against Cyborg, everyone is bad at Mario Kart. He knows every console inside out and every game backwards and forwards."

"So I shouldn't feel bad if I lose every time?"

"No, you should just try harder. Learn the game. Get good."

"You said no one beats Cyborg at Mario Kart."

"No, I just said that no one is as good as him at it. I've definitely beat him before." She laughs, sitting back in her seat. I'm glad she's laughing, glad she's distracted from the things that bring her down. She's not crying anymore. Good.

"Okay, then why don't you show me how to play, if you're so great?" I challenge.

"You're on." I look at Raven for a second, study her.

"You know, when we first met, I thought I had you all figured out. I thought you were quiet and bookish and that you didn't like people."

"That's a fair assessment, actually," she said sadly.

"No, I was wrong about you. You're kind and smart and funny. You're not quiet because you don't like people, you're quiet because you've been hurt before. But despite all of that, you're tough and genuine. Raven, you're one of the coolest people I've ever met." Raven is quiet for a moment, smiling and looking embarrassed.

"I thought you said you weren't good at this kind of thing."

"I didn't think I was… You can come to me whenever Raven. I'll be happy to listen to any problems you might have, or not talk at all. Now, let's go get ice cream."

We head home after getting ice cream. She goes up to Gar and Cyborg, I stay in my car. I'm doing my best, you know, to be a part of a family, to be a part of a team. To be a superhero like my father, and a leader like my friends need me to be. I'm figuring it out, slowly, but just like Raven, I don't think I have any more answers. There's a knock at my window. It's dad.

"Mind if I join you? I didn't see you come in so I figured-"

"Yeah. Were you just waiting on us?"

"No, I was cooking for the others. I made you a grilled cheese if you want it."

"Thanks." He gets in the car and hands me a plate, and we just sit there while I eat it.

"How's Gar doing today?"

"He's getting better. It's slow, of course, but he's getting better. His hand will be healed relatively soon."

"I'll go up and see him in a bit, I just needed some time to think… Dad?"

"Yeah, Robin?"

"Am I doing it right?" He doesn't ask what I mean. He doesn't have to, he knows me.

"No one is ever doing everything right. We make wrong decisions, we have missteps. But right now, you're doing good. You're helping your friends, you're leading your team, and I'm proud of you."

"But I'm so unsure…" I whisper.

"And you will be. That's perfectly fine. You've got this."

"Thanks, dad." We sit there for a while, and then he slaps me on the shoulder.

"Do you want to go train?"

"Absolutely."


	65. Or

Chapter 61- Gar

It took a little while to get my hand healed, but by early April I was slightly less broken. And now that I could maneuver around with a wheelchair easier than before, movie nights were a lot more fun.

So one Friday before the girls had a trip to Tamaran we all huddled up in the upstairs living room (rich people am I right?) to watch Wreck-it Ralph and then see where the evening takes us.

During the build-a-kart mini-game scene Cyborg glanced at Kori, who sat on his right on the couch, and a thought must have occurred to him.

"Have you ever played a video game, Star?" Star looked at him and nodded.

"Oh yes! I play the candy crushing game on my phone." Cyborg and I exchange a look.

"Oh no no no. That's not cutting it, princess. After this movie, we're playing Kirby Star Allies. I just got it and it's really fun."

"Yay!" Kori said excitedly.

The movie concludes with its expected emotion and an epic song from Owl City. I used to listen to Owl City, well, me and Robin did. And then we stopped being friends, and I started listening to edgier music while acting like a less edgy person. My music and my perceived personality didn't match back then. I was an MCR punk still acting like an Owl City kid… It was kind of a mess.

"Oh, we only have four controllers… Um, I can sit out." Victor scrambled to put something together.

"No, it's your game, I'll sit out." Raven offered.

"Ah, but then you're just sitting there and that's no fun for you…" Victor said guiltily.

"It's fine, we could play truth or dare while you're playing Kirby," Raven suggested.

"Wait, wait, wait, you want to play truth or dare? Are you sure?" It really didn't sound much like something that she would suggest, but Raven wasn't the same person she used to be any more than I am.

"Yeah. And I'm not going to change my mind. Robin can start and then when it gets back to him we can go in the reverse order."

"Well, okay, why not?"

"Robin, ask Gar truth or dare."

"Yeah, I know how to do it I just never have…"

"So do it."

"Gar, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Oh come on Gar, you're literally in a wheelchair."

"Guess you'll have to be more imaginative, then," I challenged with a grin.

"I'll show you imagination!" Robin had absolutely no idea what to say to me. I laugh at him a little and then he gives me his most determined look.

"Roast me."

"Okay, no problem. For the past few years, you were a terrible friend to me and there were times when I didn't think I could get you back, and I didn't really want to." Robin looks stunned and blinks hard.

"Obviously, I don't feel that way anymore…" I add quickly, and then turn to Star, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth!" She says cheerfully. I need to shift the tone from depressing to pleasant.

"What's your favorite thing about Robin?" I don't look at him, but I need to bury the edgy words I spewed without thinking.

"He is willing to do everything for the ones he loves." Kori doesn't think either, but her words are so much softer than mine, so much nicer. I could've goofed on his spiky hair or teased him about his video game skills, but I went brutal real quick.

"Now you ask Cyborg truth or dare," I wonder if she has this game on Tamaran.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Roast me." I know she was copying me, but Star is so sweet I really don't mind.

"I could never roast you, Star. How about you pick something else?" Oh, yeah! I could've also not roasted him at all. Why am I just terrible? Storm snuggles into my lap, meowing, giving Star an idea.

"Lick the kitten," she challenges, giggling.

"Why do I always end up licking things in this game?" Cyborg leans down and licks Storm.

My cat is confused but not upset. He just looks up at me, as if to say, "You have weird friends."

"Okay, Ray, truth or dare?"

"Dare. But I'm not licking the cat."

"I dare you to do jumping jacks for the next two minutes," Cyborg smirked.

"Yay, my favorite…" Raven pulled off her hoodie, wearing a tank top that Star probably picked out, considering the fact that it's pink. She does jumping jacks, and I can't help watching her, which causes my Kirby ally to die like three times.

"Okay, Robin, truth or dare?" Raven asked after her sentence was over.

"Uh, truth, why not?" Raven racks her brain for something.

"What's the best thing to ever happen to you?" She says after a few minutes of deliberation.

"You guys, no contest." Now I feel even more guilty that I didn't just say that Robin has silly hair.

"That's super sappy," Raven informs him.

"Yeah, yeah, truth or dare, Raven?"

"Truth." I lean forward a little in my seat.

"If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"

"I wouldn't give my dad a second chance." She doesn't ask for her mom back, or for anything like that, and that surprises me a little. But if I could've gotten my uncle out of my life sooner, I would have.

"Cyborg, truth or dare?" Her smile is a little bit mischievous, a look I hadn't seen before on her.

"Truth."

Raven asks a question she asked during our first game of truth or dare, "Do you have a crush on anyone?"

I expect the answer to be the same, but his face goes red.

"Terra," Cyborg mutters, barely audible.

"I knew it."

"What would you have said if I said dare?" Cyborg asks, exasperated.

"I would have dared you to take your mom's ring back and stop acting like you don't deserve it." She pressed the ring into his hand. He smiles.

"You're not off the hook though."

"Mm-hm, what are you going to do?"

"Depends. Star, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to kiss Gar." My face goes a paler shade of green, and Cyborg gives Raven a look. Raven crosses her arms and looks at Star expectantly, otherwise not reacting. How could she not be reacting? What if my first kiss is because of a stupid game?

Star leans over and pecks me on the cheek, and then looks around the room.

"Was that good?" She asks innocently. We all nod. I'm relieved that it was just on the cheek. So is Robin, since he, according to late night gossip sessions, has already had his first kiss. I keep glancing at Raven. Raven doesn't appear to notice my glances, but Star does.

She cheerfully asks me, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." Saying dare earlier was a mistake.

"How do you feel about Raven?" Everything in the world stops. I cough and sputter for a few seconds, and then I remember that I've already told Raven how I feel about her. She already knows. I haven't said it out loud to anyone else, but I'm not scared of this… Well, I'm terrified, but I'm proud of how I feel about Raven. I don't want to hide it.

"I like her. I really, really like her." I don't take my eyes off of her as I say that, but she doesn't look at me. Her face reddens.

"But we don't know what's going to happen, so for right now, I just like her." Now Raven looked at me and gave me a small smile. I look away, blushing.

"Anyway, Robin, truth or dare?" I still feel bad about what I said to him.

"Dare." Maybe this could make it up?

"Roast me." He looks at me for a second, opens his mouth to speak.

"No. That's what I used to do. I'm not going to roast you anymore. Give me a different dare."

"Okay, if you want a different dare, then stand up, and say one nice thing about everyone in this room. Including my cat, and yourself."

"...That I can do. Raven, you're the strongest person I know, Cyborg, you're the smartest person I know, Star, I just really love you, you're so positive and bright. And Gar, I know I was a terrible friend, but you're the coolest guy on the planet, you're amazing and you deserve the world, I would do anything to make up what I did. And Storm, you're adorable." My cat meowed at his name.

"First of all, you've already made up what you did. Secondly, you haven't said one good thing about yourself."

"Okay, Robin, you have pretty dope hair." I burst out laughing.

"Yeah you do, that's the spirit, Robin!" We high five and I grin at him. I will never, ever goof on his hair. Can't do it. Can't take that away from him.


	66. Ryand'r

Chapter 62- Kori

I was not very sure of what to expect when I returned to Tamaran. I hoped to see my kingdom thriving, but I know I would not have been called back here if that were fully the case. Raven accompanies me. We take a boat. It is a little more nice than the flying that me and Robin did the last time I came.

I have been doing many phone calls with my panel of leaders and we have come to one decision. We must appoint some one as temporary leader while I am in America, which I intend to be for at least until the end of my American education, be that high school or college. We will see. If we find a good replacement for my position then I will be able to handle my time in America as a hero and a student much better. My panel has been searching for this replacement and I will evaluate them today. And then I will visit the catacombs, where they have buried my sister in glass.

I am sad. I try my best not to be because Raven is here and I have a big decision to make. But I miss my sister Komand'r, despite what she did, despite what I did. There is a hole in my heart. I am so tired… I got much sleep last night after our very fun game of Truth or Dare, but I am very sad and tired now. I don't know why. I wish I understood the heart the way I am learning to understand language and story.

I think Raven notices that I am sad but she does not say anything as we enter Tamaran. She merely nods at the pretty island, which I think means she likes it. One day Beast Boy and Cyborg will also see my kingdom. Maybe the five of us will come when Beast Boy is not injured any longer. I am greeted when I reach the island, I was not greeted last time, because my allies were imprisoned. But this time I am greeted to warm hugs and babbling mind speak. Raven does not seem to mind, as Robin did, that she cannot hear or interpret our language. Though I am sure that she and the others are capable of learning, and I intend to use some time to teach them, she seems okay with being out of the loop. I think that this is because Raven likes being quiet and alone. I cannot understand it, but I am glad she is enjoying Tamaran.

"Queen Koriand'r, we have much to speak of," my advisor points out.

"Yes, I hope that you have found some suitable replacements that I may decide between." I try to stand tall and regal.

"We have, but more than that, we have found, quite possibly, the most fit replacement."

"Oh, that is very good."

"That is what we must speak of. There are things you need to know of before you can make your decision."

"Please take my guest to my wing of the palace. She speaks only English, so if a translator is available please request one so that Raven's needs may be attended to." They make a note of it and Raven is led away with our best translator, a young man, a few years older than me, who seems to have noticed, as Beast Boy has, that Raven is a very pretty human being. Though her wardrobe is not as nice as I would want it to be for my first return to Tamaran after the dethroning of Komand'r. But she is still lovely.

"What do we have to address?" I asked, straightening my clothes and hair.

"We have found someone to step in while you are out of the kingdom."

"Yes, that is what we have agreed upon."

"There is something you should know about the person we found."

"What is it? Age? Age is not a problem, my sister ruled since she was young. If they are fit and smart and care for Tamaran, I will accept them."

"He is younger than you, by a year. But that is not the thing we have to tell you. He is also biologically your brother."

I remember that right after I have been told this that I realized why Raven prefers the quiet. Quietness gives people time to think and process. So I was quiet, and I looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"We have investigated Ryand'r's claims thoroughly. He does genetically match to you, your sister, and your parents. Furthermore, the historical records have mention of him. He was a stolen child, raised far away from the kingdom. He knew of his legacy because his captors would taunt him with it. And when he recently heard that Tamaran was in trouble, he came back to protect it."

"I do not understand… Why would my parents not tell me of my brother?"

"Because they believed him to be dead."

"I want to meet him."

"Very well, right this way. Because his identity is confirmed, we have been housing him in the guest wing of the palace. But because you are our Queen, we have not mentioned to him that he could be ruling over Tamaran very shortly."

"Does he know our language?"

"Bits and pieces. He responds to English and Spanish quite well though."

"Very well, I will talk to him in English, and he can be tutored in Tamaranean. He has a home here, after all, even if he is not the right choice for Tamaran." I know that he is my brother if they know that he is my brother. If they say that we are genetically connected, if they say chronologically there was a child that was lost, if they say he came to fight for Tamaran, then I believe my advisors. But I need to see him. Need to meet him.

And seeing is believing. He looks like me. He looks like our mother, who I look like. He smiles like I smile, and he smiles when he sees me.

"It's really you… I was told I had a sister, and I got very excited… I never got to meet our parents, and I didn't get to meet Komand'r, but I'm so glad I get to meet you…"

"Ryand'r, would you like to see them? Our fallen family?" I offered. I was going alone to visit the catacombs. But I think that my brother deserves to see them as well.

"If you're sure… I understand if you want time alone, they're more your family than mine."

"I am sure. It would be an honor to visit our family with my brother." I like this idea that I have more family than I knew. I am sad that I didn't know before, and that much had happened to Ryand'r without us there to protect him. I would like to get to know him, and I would like to appoint him over Tamaran if getting to know him proves successful.

"Thank you, Koriand'r."

"If you'd like, you can call me Star, or Starfire."

"Okay, Starfire. I'd like that a lot."

We walk through the palace to the entrance of the royal catacombs. It is a very sad and scary place down there, family entombed in glass, evidently with preservative access so that DNA tests could still be administered after the passing of time. My belief still does not waver. I very much believe that this is my brother.

"I'm sorry about what Komand'r did," Ryand'r murmured as we stood in front of her glass coffin, and tears brimmed in my eyes.

"Tamaran did not deserve her betrayal. I've dreamed about coming back here, I just wish I could have come during better days. I will do anything to help, Star, I really will… If you'll let me, I'll fight whatever rebels come. I have powers, I can do something for this Kingdom." He is not asking to rule the kingdom, just to help it. I am asking him to do both.

"I believe that the powers you speak of are hereditary, Komand'r and I both exhibit powers. But I do not ask you to be Tamaran's superhero. For now, could you be its Prince? I know you may know nothing of ruling, I myself am unprepared, but I know that Tamaran needs a leader and you are next in line. It won't be a forever thing, but this kingdom and this family needs you, Ryand'r."

"I… I would be honored to help Tamaran in that way. I'm sure your council could advise me, and I'd be happy to do it… But, you're leaving? I just got to meet you…"

"Brother, we will talk many times. We will talk later tonight at dinner, and tomorrow, and as much as we are able over the phone and email. But I have another commitment in America. Please understand. You are of course welcome to visit me in Gotham." Ryand'r looks at me sadly, and I sadly at him, and then he pulls me into a hug. And I know, as I begin to cry, that this has to be my brother.


End file.
